The Raelian Message
 

HUMAN SCIENTISTS FROM ANOTHER PLANET CREATED ALL LIFE ON EARTH USING DNA.

Traces of this epic masterpiece of creation can be found in all religious writings and traditions. It is to them that Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed referred. It is now time to welcome them.


WHAT HAPPENED?

On the 13th of December 1973, French journalist Rael was contacted by a visitor from another planet, and asked to establish an Embassy to welcome these people back to Earth.

The extra-terrestrial human being was a little over four feet tall, had long dark hair, almond shaped eyes, olive skin, and exuded harmony and humor. Rael recently described him by saying quite simply, "If he were to walk down a street in Japan, he would not even be noticed." In other words, they look like us, and we look like them. In fact, we were created "in their image" as explained in the Bible.

He told Rael that:

"We were the ones who designed all life on earth"
"You mistook us for gods"
"We were at the origin of your main religions"
"Now that you are mature enough to understand this,we would like to enter official contact through an embassy"

THE MESSAGES

The messages dictated to Rael explain that life on Earth is not the result of random evolution, nor the work of a supernatural 'God'. It is a deliberate creation, using DNA, by a scientifically advanced people who made human beings literally "in their image" -- what one can call "scientific creationism." References to these scientists and their work, as well as to their symbol of infinity, can be found in the ancient texts of many cultures. For example, in Genesis, the Biblical account of Creation, the word "Elohim" has been mistranslated as the singular word "God", but it is actually a plural word which means "those who came from the sky", and the singular is "Eloha" (also known as "Allah"). Indigenous cultures all over the world remember these "gods" who came from the sky, including natives of Africa (Dogon, Twa, etc.), America, Asia, Australia, and Europe.

Leaving our humanity to progress by itself, the Elohim nevertheless maintained contact with us via prophets including Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, etc., all specially chosen and educated by them. The role of the prophets was to progressively educate humanity through the Messages they taught, each adapted to the culture and level of understanding at the time. They were also to leave traces of the Elohim so that we would be able to recognize them as our Creators and fellow human beings when we had advanced enough scientifically to understand them. Jesus, whose father was an Eloha, was given the task of spreading these messages throughout the world in preparation for this crucial time in which we are now privileged to live: the predicted Age Of Revelation.

And most important of all, download and read the free e-book, "Intelligent Design - Message from the Designers" the book which will revolutionize your thinking, transform your life and which is already changing the world.

For more information visit http://www.rael.org and discover the truth about our origins.

Live long and prosper

Nanu nanu

And I thought Aloha meant hello or goodbye

Funny.....I don't remember god using forum spam in the bible. Maybe I just skipped that chapter.

Aaaww Rael this!!!!

Oh good, a new religion.

If we get in on the ground floor, there could be money in it..

I remember hearing somewhere that the difference between a cult and a real religion was whether or not the founder died rich...

Where the ***** is that gawdam bunny with the panckes on its head?

Here you go...

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1141356481.jpg

SmileWavy

Now I see. Sex, drugs, and rock n roll...THAT's what went on in '73. Particularly the drug part, apparently.

That bunny is NOT on drugs!

Zechariah Stitchin - "The Earth Chronicles"

Tell us something new please..

rjp

I want a Legs pamphlet, too. :)

He does make a good point. How do I join? Can I send money?

Mate, just join either the Christians or the Muslims. No need (or room) for another band of freaks on this planet.

...so when is the spaceship going to be passing closest to the planet?

I just knew those fkers would find me again..... These little freaks would hang around all the time smoking Marakesh Hashish talking about the Planet they came from and how they created mankind and how they "educated" man. I thought they were good for a giggle at the time...but Mother took a dim view of them especially as they got the munchies and raided the refergrator she finally had enough of them and threw them out. It did seem that after they left we lost the colour and remote capability on our B&W TV...if I recall they especially liked to say rude things about Spock and Captain Kirk on Star Trek, and found My Favorite Martian to be really hillarious.

Just two questions; How did you build the pyramids?, Where do I send my money?

"How did you build the pyramids" : Generations of slave labour.

Could'nt you rather have asked for him to explain the meaning of Stone-Henge?

D' oh!

42

I prefer the classic:
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1142093351.jpg

Moses, the pyamids were easy... it was all done with magnets...

What? Oh $hit! I'm in trouble again...
forget what I said...
if the mothership calls tell them I went out for pizza...

Oh yeah... and tabs, phone home. ;)

Better yet, where did the aliens come from? Did they evolve from amoeba's?

The pyramids were not built with slave labor...but rather as a duty of every Egyptian to find time in their busy schedules to do community service. .... no cell phone, Ipods, Blackberrys or lap tops allowed...

I tend to like Pyramid Cigars that are rolled between the thighs of Dominican Virgins.... they have this nice oilly aroma about them...that when smoked after a good dinner will just send U to heaven.

It is funny when it is on Southpark or The Simpsons, but here it is just sort of sad

Red UFO, is that you??

funny

sorry, I'm a Movementarian...

and a regular one at that...

C'mon guys... it pays to be nice.

Raelians are known to entice members with sex.

Seriously!

http://www.rickross.com/reference/raelians/raelians82.html

I follow the Noodly Master. Ramen!

FSM pales in comparison to the Leader.


nananananananananananana - LEADER!!!

That was a great episode. "Outta my way, jerkass!"

* Moe and Sideshow Mel are covered by dust of the Leader)
Moe: I am covered in the dust of the Leader! He favors me!
Mel: I am even dustier, dustier than thou.
(Homer gets splashed with mud)
Moe: Oh, look who the new pet is!

* Jane: Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?
Homer: What kind of beer?

* Homer: Just think. I turned to a cult for mindless happiness when I had beer all along.

* Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

* Bart: Church, cult. Cult, church. So we get bored somewhere else every Sunday.

* Homer: Marge? You're the Leader? But you don't look anything like the beans.

* Rev. Lovejoy: This so-called "new religion", is nothing more than a series of strange chants and rituals trying to claim the money of unintelligent fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer forty times, but first, lets pass the collection plate.
(Ned walks up holding the plate, which only contains a few pennies and a paper clip)
Ned: Uh, Reverend, we're in a bit of a pickle here.
Lovejoy: Oh, uh. (gets out a bigger plate) Try the emergency plate, Ned.
Ned: I don't think that's gonna help.
(they look into the stands of the church. Only the Flanders family and Lenny are there)

* Edna: Now class, who can tell me where thunder and lightning come from?
Bart: The Leader, ma'am.
Edna: Very good, Bart. And who invented Morse code?
Bart: Oh, I should now this one! Uh, the Leader?
Edna: Correct again.
Lisa: He's wrong! You're wrong! The whole damn system is wrong! Arrgh! (kicks over desk)
Edna: What's wrong, Lisa? You use to be such a good student. Don't you want to impress your teacher and get good grades?
Lisa (giving in): Grades?

* Barney the dinosaur: We love him, he loves we, we're the Leader's family.

* Lisa: Careful, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
Homer: Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.

* Cletus: You are trespassin' on ma dirt-farm.
The Leader: Do you happen to need a Messiah?
Cletus: No, but I'll take those sacks of money from you.

* Ned (after the Movementarians' lawyers take Homer): You know, I pride myself on being a good host, so I'm obliged to offer you a beer. I'm so darn mad, it's going to be mostly head!

* Rev. Lovejoy (seeing Spaceship emerge from the Forbidden Barn) Oh, mercy! He's the real deal. (rips collar off and slams it to the ground).

* Lisa: It's wonderful to think for ourselves again.
Bart: You said it sister.
TV Announcer: You are watching Fox.
Simpson family: (robotically) We are watching Fox.

* Moe (after the leader is exposed): Damn! It fell apart like everything else I ever believed in! Well, I guess it's back to good ol' fashion voodoo. (gets out a Barney Gumble voodoo doll and pokes it with a mini Duff bottle)
Barney: Wow! I need a beer!
Moe: Come with me.

* Homer: Outta my way, jerkass!
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1142188832.jpg

nanananananannanan LEADER!

The leader is good the leader is great
we surrender our will as of this date.


I gotta believe god thinks the simpsons is funny, hes even shown up a few times

Nothing beats a good movement.

except a good *regular* movement...

Makes perfect sense to me!!! I'll join right after I get my $15 million from my Nigerian buddy...

Agreed. Bethoven's 9'th, 3'rd always worked for me. :D

Tough crowd ! :D

Paraphrasing Roan Atkinson on his new stepson: Either this man suffers from severe brain damage - or the new vacuum cleaner has arrived..