Tough Guys in Bars

91S2 · 03-02-2006, 09:42 PM

I need to Vent witrh this one. Listen to this... I'm at a bar tonight with 2 friends. We were meeting with 2 young ladies they work with. As we're introducing ourselves to the girls, in steps the jealous ex-boyfriend. My friends and I are not into girls with baggage so we back off and let them argue away. I notice the guy getting a little too aggressive, and suddenly grab her by the throat. (Keep in mind I notice the bar's bouncer/door guy watching the entire incident) As any decent guy would do I step up and intervene. I never punched the guy or struck him, just wrapped my arms around him and shoved him away from the girl.
The kicker is this: I get thrown out of the bar NOT the tough guy. Door guy says he saw what happened but I was out of line and it's not my job. WTF?? Since when did it become a job to be a decent human being? I find out later tough guy turns out to be a friend of the employess at said bar. I realize there's a time to mind your business and let things be, but this was not one of them.
This is really burnin' me right now and I can't let it go for some reason. Wish there was some recourse
p.s- the lady left with the good guys

bigchillcar · bigchillcar's Garage

Quote:

p.s- the lady left with the good guys

sounds like 'recourse' to me..

seriously, i'd let it go..the fact that the bouncer knew the guy, but did nothing shows his lack of professionalism (how much 'professionalism' there is in 'bouncing', however, i have no idea..lol). you did the right..so you got kicked-out for it..you aren't the first. it's all good..
ryan

BlueSkyJaunte · 03-02-2006, 10:03 PM

I know a guy who got involved in something similar, it escalated and now HE'S on the chopping block. Matter of fact the chick turned on him and is testifying against him.

Never throw the first punch, make the first grab, push, shove, or whatever. It sucks, but there it is.

speeder · speeder's Garage

I would try to just let it go; it sounds like you did the right thing, which I define as what your conscience told you to do in the moment. These types of deals are inherently stressful and you never have time to 2nd or 3rd guess yourself, I've always felt a lot worse when I was too slow and did not stick up for someone in the moment when they needed it.

dd74 · 03-02-2006, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 91S2
I realize there's a time to mind your business and let things be, but this was not one of them.

Chivalry used to be hip. Now, unfortunately, it's damn near a litigious act.

Jared at Pelican Parts · 03-02-2006, 10:54 PM

the girls left with you, what do you care?

livi · 03-02-2006, 11:27 PM

You did the right thing. Typically, not many would have had the guts. Good for you !!

alf · 03-03-2006, 12:23 AM

Dude, i misread it as

Tough guys in BRAS.

Now that would have been interesting

Drago · Drago's Garage

Do real tough guys grab women by the throat?

Let it go...I would have done the same.

TerryH · TerryH's Garage

hmmm... She knew her old boyfriend would be there if that's his hangout. Is that the only bar in town? She was hoping for exactly what happened.

TheMentat · TheMentat's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by TerryH
hmmm... She knew her old boyfriend would be there if that's his hangout. Is that the only bar in town? She was hoping for exactly what happened.

exactly... I'd be suspicious as well

dhoward · dhoward's Garage

.40
kneecap.

notfarnow · 03-03-2006, 06:38 AM

I would have done the same. Mind you, I'm a wimp and the guy would have wiped the floor with me.

I'd be tempted to call the bar's owner and tell him what went on. He should know that his employees let a situation escalate to that level, then kicked YOU out. Be sure to stress that neither you, or any of the people you were there with, will be returning.

notfarnow · 03-03-2006, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TerryH
hmmm... She knew her old boyfriend would be there if that's his hangout. Is that the only bar in town? She was hoping for exactly what happened.

True, a girl should never, ever go to places where her ex boyfriend might be. She's just lookin to get grabbed by the neck.

WTF?

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Glad you got away with no damage. Had I been in your shoes, I would have dialed 911 on my cell phone, just outside the door and in front of the bouncer, and said "I'd like to report an assault at xxxx bar." When the cops come, I'd tell them what the ex bf did and see if the girl wanted to press charges. If she'd said no, I'd walk away.

TerryH · TerryH's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by notfarnow
True, a girl should never, ever go to places where her ex boyfriend might be. She's just lookin to get grabbed by the neck.

WTF?

Why so many women return for more abuse is for the therapists to figure out, but I would give odds that isn't the first time he abused her nor the last.

She knew he would be there. She knew they would argue. She knows he is abusive. Maybe this is her way of getting away from this guy for good. We all hope so, I'm sure.

I commend 91S2. He did the right thing.

TerryBPP · 03-03-2006, 07:07 AM

I hate to say it but don't stick you nose where it don't belong. But I know why you did it, and your gonna deny it when I tell you....

In the back of your mind you thought that you still might get laid and your figured being the hero would do it!

I've done it before.

I know your pissed now but I still love you.

dhoward · dhoward's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Rick Lee
Glad you got away with no damage. Had I been in your shoes, I would have dialed 911 on my cell phone, just outside the door and in front of the bouncer, and said "I'd like to report an assault at xxxx bar." When the cops come, I'd tell them what the ex bf did and see if the girl wanted to press charges. If she'd said no, I'd walk away.

Excellent idea.
Bars just love when the coppers show up!
In this state, it the number of police incidents can have an effect on liquor license review...
Bouncers should protect the business first, or there's reall no point in having them....

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

BTW, one of the very first lessons I learned freshmen year of college is: no one ever wins a bar fight. I saw some real serious a$s kickings, some administered by the cops, some by the bouncers and some by very tough guys. My band played the bar circuit in Pittsburgh for two yrs. and I saw my share of drama. If you come out of a bar confrontation with no cuts, bruises or handcuffs, you did just fine.

91S2 · 03-03-2006, 07:40 AM

Good to hear you guys concur with me for the most part. Just to clarify a few things:
I'm not at all looking to seek some sort of revenge on anyone. When I said I wish there were some recourse I would have settled for an anvil dropping from the sky on his head by some sort of Divine intervention.
My friends picked the Bar, not her. But she did say afterward that it was his #1 hangout. So maybe she knew it was a possibility.
She told me he had done this many times before, which is why he was the ex. What I couldn't believe is that it had happened in public, in front of friends before and nobody did anything, until now.
Thankfully, I think I was able to talk some sense into her afterward. I unfortunately deal with this everyday and was able to convince her to go to the police sometime the next day and explained to her how to obtain an order of protection/ stay away order from the courts.
Oh Yeah... the girls may have left with all 3 of the good guys, but ultimately went HOME with my 2 friends. I took Rosie palm and her five sisters home. Sorry... no Hollywood ending here.