Anyone here ask their SO to sign a pre-nup?

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Just curious how common this is nowadays. I'm 10 yrs. older than my lady and have significantly more to lose than she does at the moment. If you've asked for a pre-nup, how did she take it?

legion · 03-15-2006, 10:20 AM

Wow. That's a toughy.

My wife and I are two months apart and had nothing when we got married, so it was a non-issue.

I would try being very tactful, though I'm not sure how. If she says you only bring it up because you expect the relationship to fail, I'd respond something like you're just offering incentive for you to stay together.

vash · vash's Garage

i actually think that people with "nothing" need a prenup more. if a billionaire loses half, he still has 500 million to sulk with. us, we lose half our retirement, home, and savings and we would hurt BAD!

legion · 03-15-2006, 10:26 AM

In my case, in Illinois, all assets acquired since the marriage are community property. So if I had nothing going into the marriage, then made a lot of money while married, it doesn't matter what the pre-nup says as it is only applied to assets acquired before the marriage.

Oh Haha · 03-15-2006, 10:26 AM

Not me, even though I had been divorced once. I knew my second wife was my soulmate and knew we will be together for many years.
Corny I know but it's the truth.

Jim Richards · 03-15-2006, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rick Lee
Just curious how common this is nowadays. I'm 10 yrs. older than my lady and have significantly more to lose than she does at the moment. If you've asked for a pre-nup, how did she take it?

An hour ago we were having lunch and you don't mention this?

What? Are you afraid I would've been laughing too hard?

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim Richards
An hour ago we were having lunch and you don't mention this? What? Are you afraid I would've been laughing too hard?

He was afraid you'd be pissed, and make a big scene giving him the ring back.

Jim Richards · 03-15-2006, 10:38 AM

LOL Thom! No, I think's RL's babe is much better on the eyes than me!

Besides, I'm already spoken for. You Cali guys make me nervous the way you think!

legion · 03-15-2006, 10:38 AM

ROFL!!!

Neilk · 03-15-2006, 10:41 AM

Hmm, that's one of those first 5 dates kind of questions. Ease them into it early so they know how you feel.

My main concern regarding marriage is family money and inheritance. I'd hate to lose whatever my family gives me only to see 1/2 go to a future ex.

Jim Richards · 03-15-2006, 10:45 AM

RL, just go ahead and give Sandy the 993 and half of your guns, ammo and guitars. Oh yeah, and half of your porn collection.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Well, I'll probably get flamed for this, but my lady is R.O.B. (right off the boat) from Mainland China and in the year we've been together, I haven't seen the slightest red flag when it comes to temperment, spite, vindictiveness, anger mgt. or greed. Nomex suit on - tell me how I'm begging to get cleaned out. Recently, she landed a very good job that will sponsor her H1, so I don't have to worry about some ticking clock on marrying her or she has to leave. I actually feel much more inclined to think about marriage now that she doesn't need me for anything other than me and some occasional help with her car. I've made no attempt to hide the amount of money I spend on guns, booze, international travel, Porsches and DE regis. fees, so she doesn't wonder if I'm saving for a ring. I have no idea how she would react to a pre-nup, but I know she wants a ring.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Jim Richards
RL, just go ahead and give Sandy the 993 and half of your guns, ammo and guitars. Oh yeah, and half of your porn collection.

Her stealing my porn is a real concern. At least she has plenty of obscure Chinese stuff on her computer that she shares with me.

badcar · badcar's Garage

Quote:

I haven't seen the slightest red flag when it comes to temperment, spite, vindictiveness, anger mgt. or greed. Nomex suit on - tell me how I'm begging to get cleaned out.

Thats what lawyers are for........

pbs911 · pbs911's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Rick Lee
Well, I'll probably get flamed for this, but my lady is R.O.B. (right off the boat) from Mainland China and in the year we've been together, I haven't seen the slightest red flag when it comes to temperment, spite, vindictiveness, anger mgt. or greed.

Huge red flag.

Statistically, the immigrant younger woman who marries a older American will leave them and stake claim to half. Sorry, but it must be said. I hope I'm wrong, but a gut feeling and $3.50 will get you no more than a cup of at Starbucks.

It's so common even Eddie Murphy made a joke about it. . Half Eddie, I want half!

pbs911 · pbs911's Garage

You also have to think, what would be someone's alterior motive for objecting to a pre-nupt?

FWIW, I am a lawyer and dabble in family law here and there.

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by Rick Lee
Well, I'll probably get flamed for this, but my lady is R.O.B. (right off the boat) from Mainland China and in the year we've been together,

How long is the warranty on a mail-order bride?

Did you spring for the PayPal "seller protection?" (I never do).

Have you already left eBay feedback?

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by pbs911
You also have to think, what would be someone's alterior motive for objecting to a pre-nupt?

FWIW, I am a lawyer and dabble in family law here and there.

AFAIK, she won't object to a pre-nup. We haven't discussed it yet, but she is not the only foreigner I've dated (they're just about all I date) and she is definitely not one of the gold diggers. I realize the woman who files for divorce is not the same woman you married. But I have seen no signs whatsoever that she has any ulterior motives. I was witholding judgement until she got a job and an H1 sponsor, which she has now and did totally on her own. Eventually, I have to run out of excuses to be cynical, no?

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by widebody911
How long is the warranty on a mail-order bride?

Did you spring for the PayPal "seller protection?" (I never do).

Have you already left eBay feedback?

Ha ha!!!! No, she's not one of them. One of the guys in our local PCA has a mail order bride. His and mine have nothing in common. Mine came here for grad school, finished up and landed a good job. His placed an ad with a service and got her ticket out with a rich American.

vash · vash's Garage

i think the acronym is F.O.B. fresh off boat.

as in: "that chick is kinda hot, but she dresses kinda fobby."

i know lots of chinese chicks, and i kid you not, i think 8 out of ten ended in disaster. one poor friend paid a ladies way through school and 1 week after she got a job, she bailed. i saw her a few months ago, and she ditched the fobby look and is effen hot! the friend is an idiot, because he now has a thai bride. nothing but horror stories. i wish you the best of luck, and i hope you are the 2/10. on the other hand, if you get a good one, you will be well taken care of.