Your Wife Ever Stomp On You?

[Kevin Taylor]

SARASOTA, Florida (CNN) -- When I met Leo, Paul and Tom at a domestic violence shelter here in Sarasota, Florida, it was hard to believe the three men's story: that they were victims of physical abuse at the hands of their female partners.

Leo, who is about 6 feet tall and said he weighed more than 200 pounds at the time of the abuse, said his girlfriend terrorized him while he was recovering from a heart transplant.

"She would throw things, she would absolutely throw things, one time she did grab my throat and was screaming in my face," he said.

Another time, Leo said, she pulled a knife on him, but he suspected she was just trying to scare him.

Tom said his ex-wife would fly off the handle without notice. He said he had to lie when co-workers noticed scratches on his body, saying "my hands were so clawed by her, at work a day later I would be writing something down, and someone would say 'Oh, you must have a mean cat,' I'd say 'Yeah, a mean cat.' What am I supposed to say?"

Tom's wife was arrested and pleaded guilty to assault.

Tom said while sitting in a courtroom during his divorce, he realized he was a victim of abuse.

"I looked up, and I see a poster saying 'Are you a victim of domestic violence?' And I start reading the questions, and tears started coming down. I said, 'damn.' "

Paul, who works for a cement company, said his wife would attack him when he got home from work.

"She'd come running at me like a wild animal, both hands and arms swinging, I think she had her eyes closed half the time," he said.

According to a police report, Paul attacked his wife and threatened to kill her, but he said that is a lie.

"She came running up to me with a knife, and I end up doing six months over it," he said.

CNN's efforts to contact Paul's ex-wife were unsuccessful.

All three men said they were reluctant to call police. Leo said he thinks in the case of a dispute, an officer would believe a woman's story over a man's.

"Whether it happened or not, if she signs that affidavit, you're on your way to jail, you're on your way to jail, no investigation no anything."

All three men have left the women they say abused them.

Mary Thoroman, a detective with the North Port, Florida, Police Department, said she is seeing more male victims of domestic violence than ever before.

"Typically it's the throwing of objects, a lot of scratching, a lot of face scratching, neck scratching, even chest, but objects being thrown is very, very common," she said.

After meeting the three men, I interviewed Darlene Hilker, a woman who admits to assaulting her husband. Hilker said she was arrested after an argument spun out of control, and "I grabbed my husband's genitals, that's what I was arrested for."

Hilker was sentenced to 16 weeks of counseling at the Domestic Abuse Shelter Homes in Englewood, Florida.

The executive director at DASH, Donna LeClerc, said her group is dealing with more and more cases of women abusing their mates, though Department of Justice statistics show spousal abuse arrests nationwide have dropped significantly during the past decade.

"Men have gotten the point that it's not OK to do those things, but somehow it's turned around, and it's OK for women to do those things," LeClerc said.

Hilker said her anger would build and build until she couldn't control it. She also said other woman are feeling the same frustration, and are resorting to violence.

"There's a lot of women with a lot of anger, and they are letting it go," Hilker said. "It's not just husbands beating up wives; women can fly off, too."

K.T.
1973 911 E 2.4 MFI
1983 911 SC
1965 Devin "D" - 1967 912 Power Plant

[speeder]

This ain't news, brother. It's as old as the hills. Cavemen were getting whacked by their beyotches.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Sounds like a good opportunity to practice soft-blocking and restraining techniques.

[SlowToady]

Sounds like a good opportunity to throw a mean right cross.

Oh the hell I'm going to catch over that one...And no, for the record, I've never hit a woman and I have no intentions of doing so.

However, women ***** about their equal rights and all these kinds of things, yet they want special treatment at their discretion for bull**** like this. If you hit a man, you should expect to get treated like one.

Why in the hell would a man put up with this?

[masraum]

Yea, unless she's 200# too, I don't think she's going to get very far. I don't hit women, but I'll defend myself.

[elwood-914]

Unfortunately I saw a lot of that growing up. My mom was a manic depressant, she grabbed knives, razor blades, ties for hanging herself, overdosed. She used to man handle my ex-stepfather. He had no way of controling her. Now she says that stuff never happened. Not a pretty site.

[fastpat]

50% or a bit more of domestic violence is women beating men. The reason more women die or have more serious consequences from domestic violence is due to the strength and size differences only.

[URY914]

Sarasota is a very high stress place for women. Do you go to the beach or do you layout by the pool? Do you shop at St. Armain's Circle or do you go to the mall? Do I get the RR seviced or just buy another?

[cantdrv55]

My first girlfriend was taller than me by 2 inches. She was skinny though. Verbually abused me every time I hung out with the fellas. Possesive b1tch is fat as hell now and still taller than me. Poor fella she married.

[Owain]

I had a friend who's wife was like that. She'd fly off the handle at the littlest thing. He said she didn't hit him, but threatened to and put him down at every opportunity. I'd sometimes go to their place to watch movies and she'd be as sweet as sugar to me, but at the same time belittleing him.

One day they were coming back from a party with her driving (the car they bought together, but she considered to be 'hers' and only let him drive on rare occasions) and yelling at him about something he did or didn't do when she threw a punch at him. At the next intersection he opened his door and jumped out, walked to my place and spent the next 2 months on my couch while his divorce went through. He'd finally had enough and come to the conculusion that nothing was going to change, he just needed to get away from her. Good move.

[Craig 930 RS]

Women can be pretty wiry and hard to predict.....kinda like a young Grizzly.

Dangerous at times

[Tervuren]

My uncle's wife later wanted to marry someone with more money, so she continualy physicly attacked him, one time he pushed her away, so she completely framed him.

[fastpat]

Originally posted by Owain
I had a friend who's wife was like that. She'd fly off the handle at the littlest thing. He said she didn't hit him, but threatened to and put him down at every opportunity. I'd sometimes go to their place to watch movies and she'd be as sweet as sugar to me, but at the same time belittleing him.

One day they were coming back from a party with her driving (the car they bought together, but she considered to be 'hers' and only let him drive on rare occasions) and yelling at him about something he did or didn't do when she threw a punch at him. At the next intersection he opened his door and jumped out, walked to my place and spent the next 2 months on my couch while his divorce went through. He'd finally had enough and come to the conculusion that nothing was going to change, he just needed to get away from her. Good move.

It sure was. Domestic violence situations do not get better; they invariably get worse, until the target does what your friend did, or one kills the other.

There are only a few instances where intervention stops the violence, and being so rare, the best move is to leave.

[speeder]

Women are violent by nature more often than not. The absolute highest incidence of DV is between lesbian couples. Nothing in the world meaner than a bull dyke, think of a macho truck driver w/ no dick.

[fastpat]

Originally posted by speeder
Women are violent by nature more often than not. The absolute highest incidence of DV is between lesbian couples. Nothing in the world meaner than a bull dyke, think of a macho truck driver w/ no dick.

A friend of mine was given to picking up women in bars, including airport bars, even if he had no chance of following up his newly found acquaintances. One time he moved in on a really good looking woman sitting by herself in a booth (which should have been the tip off), so he introduces himself and begins shooting her the lines. In about 10 minutes out of the corner of his eye he notices someone standing next to the booth table, and out of the person comes this very gruff voice, "what do you think you're doing with my woman?" He looks up, and there stands another woman, a very large woman complete with lineman's boots, worn bluejeans, and plaid flannel shirt. He eased on out of the booth, and out of the bar too.

[Jamie79SC]

The absolute highest incidence of DV is between lesbian couples. Nothing in the world meaner than a bull dyke, think of a macho truck driver w/ no dick.

Is that off the top of your head or do you have some objective evidence? I know plenty of lesbians and this does NOT ring true at all.

[speeder]

Yes, I just made that up.



Are you sure that you know real lesbians, or are they just women who used that excuse on you?

[Jamie79SC]

Speeder, where did you hear that?

[speeder]

Sorry for being a smart ass. Anyone w/ a 917 avitar is A-OK in my book.

I read an extensive article not too long ago about the prevalence of DV in lesbian couples, (wish I could remember where, but it was a respected/mainstream source), and my personal experience w/ friends who are gay women in abusive relationships bears it out. Oddly enough, gay men do not batter each other nearly as much according to the article.

Sorry that I don't have the source, I'll try to find it.

[nine_one_4]

These stories help me to understand society a little better. I'm constantly bewildered by the people around me but I would never be able to accuse them of behaving the way some of these posts describe.