Exactly how my situation went in 2004 on the way to Daytona:

Have reservation
Enter plane
Someone is sitting in my assigned seat
Man appears to be a bit 'special', which is fine by me. I ask FA: "He's in my seat....."
"You'll have to find another seat"
"? Where"
"I don't care. He has special needs. Find another seat"

OK. Flight looks full, I haven't a clue where to sit where I won't be asked to move.......AGAIN.

Whereupon I get pissed, the captain comes back, and THE FREAKIN" I'M THE BOSS attitude starts all around with the crew.

I was inches from being kicked off the flight. WTF???

I hate flying anymore.

I don't fly anymore....

Bought my own plane and I fly myself 90% of the time. No security lines and I can use more convenient airports.

Ah, the jet age.
Breakfast in New York,
Dinner in Paris,
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Luggage in Peoria.

I know I have told this story before, but it is a classic. On my way to Savannah for my every six months' training. Changing planes in Atlanta. Guy in front of me is being an A$$ to the gate agent. Not his assigned seat available, no free upgrades, no meal voucher, nada, this guy is S.O.L., and now he knows it. He unloads on the gate agent.

She stoically takes it, and lets him vent, the entire time is typing in her computer. He finally gets his boarding pass and baggage claim checks. He storms off down the jetway.

I step up, she gives me a new boarding pass as the original gate has changed. I remark that she showed a remarkable amount of restraint with the idiot. She smiles demurrely. I ask how she does that all day.

She smiles openly at me, leans over the counter and whispers... "He is going to Savannah. His bags are going to Cleveland."

Rodeo,

That story is legend in the aviation world. I still cannot believe that some idiot did this anywhere, not to mention inside an airplane in flight. That guy was put in jail and banned from flying for years and will never fly on that airline ever again.

Craig, next time something like this happens, ask for the head flight attendent. Explain the situation and they should help. If not then just go to the first open seat you can find in First Class and sit down. Sure that they will work something out for you then! :)

Head Flight Attendant????/
 

Joe, Joe, Joe.

I KNOW you did not mean to reinforce that old stereotype about the Head Flight Attendant.

If I ever want to eat again on any flight, I always ask for the Lead Flight Attendant instead.

Michael (for whom it has been a long time since I have seen a head F/A...)

That is hilarious!! The ultimate payback. I can not stand rude people and they get what they reap.
Have a Happy Easter.

On a recent flight a middle aged woman was asked to open her window blind for landing. After some hassle she finally opened it.

Once the FA left, she started loudly asking everyone why the blind needed to be open stating it was the most stupid rule she had ever heard.

I calmly said;"It's in case we crash the so the fireman can look in your window to see if your worth saving."

She was quiet for the rest of the flight.

>>>However, I am getting sick and tired of all the stupid rules out there as well. Its ridiculous. You are not trusted to be an adult any longer. The amount and absurdity of rules these days never ceases to amaze me.<<

If there is a rule in aviation, its because it happened. As a commercial pilot i can tell you COUNTLESS stories of passengers acting like idiots. Unfortunately its the other 80% of normal people who must pay the price.

Ever wonder why there is a caution label on a tube of Preperation H that says, "Do not take orally"?
Because someone did....

Has anyone noticed how crowded flights are lately? The airlines cut back schedules as the economy improved and now their load factors must be pretty darned healthy. I've also seen ticket prices going up, whereever they can make it stick. If fuel doesn't jump too much over the summer, I think the industry is going to see a nice little profit recovery.

My flights out of Baton Rouge have been pretty full since Katrina. BTR actually added some of the flights that MSY had cancelled.

Ticket prices jumped last week across the board. SWA even raised their prices. My weekly NWA flight that I buy a month in advance almost doubled last week.

What the hell is with people lately?

Someone tells me that kid needs to be dragged out back and have some sense beaten into him with a sack full of brass doorknobs. . .

It was Southwest she was almost 30, Brunette, hair and make-up perfect and her kaikis hit like she was a HS sr.

I was on a flight tonight, had the middle and this very cute girl had the window. I'm just saying my goodbyes to the wife and kids on my phone and the girl pulls out SI swimsuit issue and starts looking at it. "Honey, I gotta go, luv ya..."
She spent about 30 to 45 minutes looking at this thing. I mean like she was some sort of guy - heck, I don't even know guys that gawk like that. I finally had the nut to say something but I didn't want to come off like the perv I am.
"Great locations to make a living huh?"
"Ya, the girls are georgous as well."
"Ya, I happen to notice that too...so are you in school?
"Yep, I'm a Froshmen at Arizona State."
"Ya don't say, my daughter is a Froshmen as well up in Illinios"
(reality hit hard - this hottie was the same age as my Daughter!)
"So what are you studying?"
"I'm double majoring in Broadcast Journalism and Womens Studies"

A young, hot lesbian...and I am old enough to be her Dad!

Life just real cruel real quick.

A few years ago we took a guys trip to Vegas. Against my advice, they invited this clown who may be the most obnoxious drunk on the planet. He shows up at the last minute, staggers on the plane three sheets to the wind and proceeds to offend everyone around him. he is very loud and very drunk. He was three rows ahead of me and I heard him start to tell one of his famous jokes to the poor girl wedged next to him in the window seat. (His joke ends with him unzipping his pants).

I got out of my seat and went to the rear of the plane and told the flight attendant that there was a problem in row 17. The FA approached row 17 and saw his hand shoved down his open zipper. As the flight crew considered escorting him from the plane, he pleaded and pointed me out, begging for support. The captain leaned over and asked if he was travelling with me. "No, sir." I said. He was booted from the plane. We laughed about the jackass all weekend.

along these lines.Years ago while in-proccesing to my new unit, I hear this guy giving a young PFC lot's of grief, we where all to return at 1 for our $ and final orders. He was yelling..'what do you mean I don't exist'
did notice a smile on the young guys face.
Rika

We were boarding a puddle jumper from Nassau to Miami. This one guy is really drunk, loud and obnoxious. He is throwing his carry on bag down the stairs in the terminal as we are heading to our plane.

This is back in May of 2001.

The plane had open seating it was 1/2 full so the FA told us all to sit where we want. I decide to take my wife and son and head to the front figuring Mr. Drunk would go to the back of the class like all bad kids do.

He sat up front with us. He sits backwards in the very 1st row behind the cockpit. He decides to open the curtain and see who the flight crew is. The Co-pilot was a really hot blond probably in her early 30's. The drunk guy gets all excited and starts hitting on her. She snaps him a dirty look and pulls the curtain closed after telling him to not touch it again. A FA came up too and told him to behave or be kicked off.

After he passed out his friend was apologizing to everyone around him. It seems the drunk guy turned out to be the Sherrif of Marathon Key in the Bahamas.

I sat in the emergency exit row 2 weeks ago. My 1st time. The FA came up and did her routine. It was funny because all I could think of was Larry David when he told the FA he was not up to the task of sitting in that row and that he chokes under pressure. I wondered if the FA knew about that episode, I decided not to test her.