Oh boy...here we go! I just turned 37 and I have had 2 - I'm married to the second. I know that I've avoided a lot of heart ache and pain by staying out of "the scene", but I can't lie to my Pelican brothas and sistas, I find that I am curious. Let's leave it at that...

Jeff

Bedpost? There's just a pile of sawdust next to the mattress...

I got it.

Usual answers to my wife:

- A gentlemen never tells
- I will not answer that question unless my lawyer is present
- Only one, you

So far is working ...

I know knot of these knotches of which you speak of. And Toddy Woddy, you are a Ho, but your MY ho and that makes you special, not like these other hos. And Mullies reference to gettting cracked in the end and Dhoward's concurrence make me want to leave the room.

Over 10,000. I used to hang out with Wilt Chamberlain and pick up the stragglers.

Come sit over here by me...

NoWay!! Get away from me!! Well, maybe one time, . . .Oh, what the heck . . . .

lost count.

There are things I will discuss and things I won't discuss. This is one of them.

Unless they were lazy, gubmint girls....
:eek:
SmileWavy

Wilt Chamberlain claimed he slept with over 20,000 women. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

Jack Bauer calls that a slow Tuesday morning.

more Porsches then notches...

tick...tock....tick....tock


Jack is usually best between 3am and 4am.

funny you mention this, just today I was tell a buddy that years ago (before my wife) I made a list. I just put down initials. My girlfriend at the time (who was a logic puzzle wiz) found the list. Now mind you, the list looked like this:

CS JP KT
LI NW KM BL HP CG PK LL WG CG AA JH JF KL DB PT CL AK CG CM DJ ST...

Within a minute she screams "You sonuvabtch! This is a list of all the girls you slept with!"

"What, how did you..."

"You *******! Why is my initals followed by 5 others? Huh? Tell that hotshot?"

"er, well...ya see...I forgot about them and then they got added to the list and how the ***** did you figuer that out so quick?"

Her deduction skills were unparelled. She took me completely off-guard. I'd say it took her maybe 4 minutes to completely clean out her things from my apartment.

Women are smarter than they appear to the untrained eye.

more reason to develop higjly honed lieing skills...

just tell them up front. easier that way. If they can't handle it, so be it. Better to get it over with quickly...

Really? D@mn, I knew something was up! I guess they can be sneaky that way.

Since I didn't get married until I was 37...and I lived at a So Cal Beach...let's just say I'm lucky I didn't have it fall off....

In reality, the "total" number is really insignificant, in the grand scheme of things. After all, as Richard Pryor puts it, there are really only two pieces of ******* that matter. Two that you will always remember: Your FIRST and your LAST. Everything else in between just doesn't matter. :D

Randy

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie which embarasses my wife and children. It is a lie that our Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Can I get a ruling on a double amputee? Full credit or half?

something about a women with a wooden leg...

Hairlip, hairlip.....no wait...that was a woman with a wooden eye....sorry, wrong joke, my bad...:eek:

Us sneaky... never. :cool:

1... after another.

And the great thing about a double amputee is you can use them as a pillow afterwards..

is that better then a Yubisaki Pillow?

http://www.redtongue.com/As-Seen-on_TV.jpg
only 39.99 !!

Ditto. I'm dragging the average down.

Cool. In that case, I have four times as many notches as I originally estimated.

after being taken for 2 years labor building a business, remodeling a building, remodeling her house for free labor and about $20,000 cash lost in undocumented loans... one too many. before that... quit counting in my late 20's at 200+. I forget now. you'd think I'd know better at 50. duh! I forgot Mr. Lucky's cardinal rule. don't let your ***** run your life. I was replaced before I was forgotten.

My wife won't let me answer this question! :)

Here's my list:

a lifeguard in Oakland, CA
an Aerobics instructor in TX
a CPR instructor in NJ
my son's Sunday School teacher
my daughter's Brownie leader
a first grade teacher in TX
a secretary at an engineering firm in San Francisco
a pre-school teacher in the Virgin Islands
my best friend's ex-girlfriend
a coed in Moraga, CA
a secretary at a radio station (KMEL) in San Francisco
an intern at another radio station (KGO) in San Francisco

And I did all of this with the permission and in fact encouragement of my wife.

Because all of these women are in fact the same woman!! We've been married 28 years and if she keeps changing careers, it's going to be another 28 years of freakiness.

Variety is the spice of life.

I just showed your post to my wife and she has a new hero...SmileWavy

Was beginning to think you had a thing for disciplinarians.

5th ammendment..

when you can almost know what they'll smell like you've been around.