Poll: How to punish kids...

[Moses]

My older kids (15 and 13) make sport of tormenting each other. Verbal jabs are common. Sometimes it escalates until my daughter will throw a pillow or try to hit her brother. My son usually initiates the unpleasantries and seems to enjoy it when my daughter loses her temper.

There were no witnesses to todays events, but the the battle ended with my daughter throwing a remote control at her brother. He ducked. The remote went through a window. Broken glass everywhere.

What to do?

First of all, I believe in both punishment and restitution. The kids will pay for the window.

[craigster59]

Daughter 2/3, son 1/3. Your daughter will have to deal with alot of antagonizers throughout life, She needs to learn to use her mind not her throwing arm..

[86 911]

LOL. Sounds like my two friends that are brothers. One is my age (17) and the other is 14. The most it ever gets to be is a screaming match and usually everything is ok after a half hour. I wouldn't make them pay for the glass, especially since it was an accident. It might make them angry at you for a long time if you do, plus it may seem unfair if you charge your son since he was not the one who threw the clicker and broke the window. I would sit down with both of them and have the "I am dissapointed" talk and threaten them for paying for anything else that they break in the future. That always seems to work. Good luck!

[Nathans_Dad]

Moses, I would make em go 50/50 and pay for it. They both were involved in the incident and while your daughter did throw the remote, I'm sure your son is 50% responsible for it flying through the air.

I might also suggest that the "I'm disappointed" talk does about zero to your average teenager. Put the hammer down!

[86 911]

Hmm, the "I'm dissapointed" talk seems to do a lot. We had this conversation in our English class and almost all of the kids agreed that it made them feel guilty when parents gave the talk, which made the kids act/prepare/behave better in the future.

[scottmandue]

Slash them in half with a butter knife and dance about on their graves singing hallelujah...

[Moneyguy1]

Say nothing. Get an estimate, have the window repaired, give them both a copy of said estimate, and for as long as it takes to pay it off, reduce their allowance by 50%.

The silent treatment works far better than any talk you can give them. It says volumes about what you think of their actions. After all, isn't it obvious that negotiation and appeasement is seldom the answer, whether in families or in internatinal affairs?

Is the remote OK?

[Mulhollanddose]

Daughter pays, she lost her cool, she broke them. She needs the lesson more than your son...I do not know why people would vote otherwise...There is no lesson for your son until he gets hit by a flying object or fist. You cannot make him responsible for her attempted physical assault.

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by scottmandue
Slash them in half with a butter knife and dance about on their graves singing hallelujah...

You do mean singing "alllahhhhhhhh akbar", surely.

[Moses]

Originally posted by Moneyguy1
...reduce their allowance by 50%.


Is the remote OK?

No allowance in this house. Either you work, or hope the grandparents are generous at report card time.

Remote still works!

[RoninLB]

forget about logical conversation except the girl pays 100%.

aggressive conversation is different than violent action.

Teach you boy how to play poker and ask for 10% when he hits Vegas.

[legion]

I say 50% each.

Sometimes life isn't fair and everyone gets the blame.

[tabs]

Yell at them till they cry. Telling them what worthless pieces of ***** they are and that U wish they were never born! That ought to take care of it.

Now Mother is that anyway to treat children?

It worked with you didn't it my lovely little overweight dumpling.

AHHHHHGGGGRRRR....thats better

What do I know about Teenagers...hmmmm not much I'm afraid....Moses you better sit them down and tell them that you know the little game that they play with each other and that your tired of it especially when something gets broken. That it just pi$$es you off and that provocker and provocked are gona pay for this one.

Lay down the law your the Dad

[Don Ro]

Originally posted by 86 911
LOL. ... my age (17)
I wouldn't make them pay for the glass, especially since it was an accident. It might make them angry at you for a long time if you do, plus it may seem unfair if you charge your son since he was not the one who threw the clicker and broke the window. I would sit down with both of them and have the "I am dissapointed" talk and threaten them for paying for anything else that they break in the future. That always seems to work. Good luck!

You're 17 yrs. young.

.
Moses, my vote is 50/50 since you said they both make sport of tormenting each other.
A history of making sport, etc., I assume.
Teaching the universal law of cause/effect = good parenting, IMO.

[Jims5543]

Originally posted by Mulhollanddose
Daughter pays, she lost her cool, she broke them. She needs the lesson more than your son...I do not know why people would vote otherwise...There is no lesson for your son until he gets hit by a flying object or fist. You cannot make him responsible for her attempted physical assault.

So says the name caller....

The lesson for the son is that his actions of tormenting his sister to the point of her melting down (girls tend to be more emotional than boys) resulted in a broken window. It takes two to tango and these two were dancing.

Do you have kids???


My vote? 50/50 AND a stern speaking to. Then implementing a zero tolerance for this tormenting in the future where both parties will be sent to rooms to sit, breath and read until they are told to come back out. No questions asked. Then do it.

There were 3 boys in my house growing up. This was the rule. Once this law was laid down things mellowed out.

[WOODPIE]

Don't have kids, so from that perspective I'd shoot them both, knowing I could make more if I wanted.


Just kidding. 50/50 on the works, and maybe just threaten with the above.

Ed

[wcc]

Here's a scenario for you here. If you are at a store and someone cuts you off and you get upset. Then a little while later they cut you off again as you get in line to check out. Then you might make a comment as to them cutting you off earlier and just now in line, and they retort with some other colorful comments that make you more upset. So you pick up something to throw at this stranger, which ducks, and it breaks a window. Who is responsible?

You are! So in this case it's your daughter. Make her pay for the window and teach her how to deal with people that make her upset.

On a side note, I've dated women who would go into their room to cry it out and women that would break just about everything in sight. The girls that broke everything in sight were the ones I dumped/threw out that night or the next day. The ones that cried or said 'whatever' and worked it out were ones that lasted a lot longer for us. One of those I married cause when I make her mad I don't have to worry about all our stuff needing to be replaced.

[cantdrv55]

Originally posted by Moses

Remote still works!

Whew, that was close! Now go make them split the cost of the window and add to their chores since they seem to have energy to spare.

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

wire hangers

[Evans, Marv]

I vote 50/50 also. They both need to learn the consequences negative behavior. I would also make them call around and arrange for somebody to repair it. When the repair person comes and repairs it, give them the money to pay for it in cash and have each one pay the guy half. Then take it out of their pay for chores.
So there!