You, and whose Army...?

fastpat · 07-05-2006, 07:19 PM

Scott Adams Army, that's who.

Quote:

My Own Army

I wonder how much it would cost to have my own army composed of third world mercenaries. I'd want them as more of a status symbol than a fighting force. Obviously I'd have to hire my soldiers from a country where the annual wage is $1.25, otherwise it gets expensive. And they'd have to stay in that country. I'd outsource the whole project.

My army's only duty would be to march in formation several times a day and shout songs about my glory. The whole thing would probably cost me less than a few thousand per year. And for that modest sum, I'd have a cool answer every time someone said to me "You and whose army?" I'd have pictures of my army in my wallet and just whip them out. Then I'd say something like "Here's the 101 Infantry Division. This fellow on the end, Gbernak, he can swim. He's my amphibious landing force."

I would lend my army to multinational peacekeeping forces whenever it was hard to get a coalition. It would be funny to watch President Bush explain who was joining the next coalition. "Well, our coalition is growing. So far we have the United States, and Puerto Rico, I think Hawaii is on board. Japan is sending some bandages. And of course we have the Army of Scott Adams. They spend most of the day hiding, but we're sure they're with us."
http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2006/06/my_own_army.html

Aurel · Aurel's Garage

Funny. So, Pat, if you funded such an army in Iraq, would you make it fight with or against the insurgents?

Aurel

Joeaksa · 07-05-2006, 07:32 PM

Nah, he would fight the civil war all over again! He has not left that piece of history behind as of yet...

Moses · 07-05-2006, 08:13 PM

I NEED an army!

How great to show up for meetings with your epaulets shining and decorative ribbons documenting all of lifes little triumphs. I would be flanked by a pair of grim faced guards who don't speak a word of english and preceded by a forward guard who would sport my colors and announce my arrival. I LOVE IT!

Joeaksa · 07-05-2006, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Moses
I NEED an army!

How great to show up for meetings with your epaulets shining and decorative ribbons documenting all of lifes little triumphs. I would be flanked by a pair of grim faced guards who don't speak a word of english and preceded by a forward guard who would sport my colors and announce my arrival. I LOVE IT!

Slopat has that just to go to the head (bathroom for you land lubbers) so you would have to do a lot better than that for an army! At least a dozen with an advance party to check things out "just in case" so to speak...

M.D. Holloway · 07-05-2006, 09:11 PM

if I'm not mistaken I think in the US it is called the Mafia...

Joeaksa · 07-06-2006, 04:43 AM

Here on the border we get them at the Home Depot store every morning. They are not big on uniforms but as long as you have money they are your friends!

cashflyer · 07-06-2006, 05:46 AM

Once, I worked a security detail for some English wanker who was in the states on Business. He was never at any real risk; it was all just self aggrandizement. But let me tell you this... it got him more choice p_$$y that I could have ever imagined.

Maybe that was his master plan....

I guess nothing says "I'm important" more than a guy with his own security personnel.

M.D. Holloway · 07-06-2006, 06:55 AM

There are wingmen and then there are squadrons!

bigchillcar · bigchillcar's Garage

lol..pat.

fastpat · 07-06-2006, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aurel
Funny. So, Pat, if you funded such an army in Iraq, would you make it fight with or against the insurgents?

Aurel

Wuhl, no, that's the whole point of this very cost effective army.