My Wifes Best Friends Husband is a Tool - What to Do?

M.D. Holloway · 10:46 PM

Last Friday, I come home and as what is typical my Wife and a few of her girl friends with kids are hanging out. Drive by our home any Friday or Saterday between 5PM and 8PM and you will find the fold out chairs with the women in them watch ing the young'ns play at the pond or in the yard.

So that particular night we are hanging out and my Wifes best friend Nikki (who has a Son that is our Sons best bud and a daughter who is very tight with ours as well) are there with her husband Chris. Now I get (got) along with this guy. He is a ball buster but has never gotton into my shyt.

At one point another neighbor with wife walks by and I say hi to them as does Chris but he greets them in Spainish. Chris is not Spainish but rather a true Texas redneck from Lubbick (sp). Chris does well, has his own insurence co that his folks set him up with and often mentions how well off he is compared to everybody else. Ok what ever. So - back on track - I correct his Spainish tell him he used the wrong tense. He says to me:

"Ya know, thats why people don't like you, your a know it all. You always have to be right about everything. Look at me, I'm Mike, I know everything. Thats why people hate you."

Needless to say, I was taken by surprise but played it cool.

"You don't hate me do you Chris?"

"No, not all the time..."

Just then my Wife comes out and I go to check on the kids who are in the house doing something. She comes in after about 5 minutes and asks what heck just happened. I tell her and she (to her credit) gets all sorts of 'Momma Cougar" defensive of her kin. Nikki, Chris and the kids book. My Wifes has spoken to Nikki about the matter and Nikki says that is between the men. My Wife says ***** THAT! Nobody comes into my home/yard and says that to my husband! So things are strained.

Now, to make matters more interesting, my Wifes other friend Andrea is married but has choose not to have kids. Well, Andrea and her hubby (who fishes with Chris) have dinner last night with Nikki and Chis. Nikki tells them about something that happened with their kids and Andrea offers her perspective on it. Chirs turns to her and says "People like you who don't have any kids shouldn't offer up any opinions about kids to those of us who do!"

This happen at Andreas house. She has been on the phone with my Wife about it all day. Normally I would let this shyt fly bye but it is rather interesting and kinda sexy seeing my Wife defend me!

We got together with some other neighbors tonight (not the *****'d up flag lady!) and I joked about being a knowitall. They were pretty supportive of course - I would expect anything different but I really can't believe the sac on this guy to say that kinda shyt to me or Andrea. Ya, he's a prick and I will most likely remain cordial. Be the better guy and all. I just feel bad for my Wife. I think I know why he acts like that. Any ideas?

HardDrive · 07-08-2006, 10:52 PM

Dunno what to tell you man. My wife has a friend who is an absolute gem, beautiful, smart woman. Her husband is a lumpy POS who thinks of no one but himself. He is detested by all. We simply put up with the guy.

The guys a dick. Just let him implode on his own.

trekkor · 07-08-2006, 10:58 PM

Some people look for the faults and flaws in everyone else, because if they took the time to look at themselves it would be too horrible... ( for them )

KT

elwood-914 · 07-08-2006, 11:02 PM

Maybe he's trying to put other people down to pump him up a bit. If it weren't for the kids, I would pull the plug on the friendship. Just try to suck it up and be cordial as you said but I would not let that guy get close.....

M.D. Holloway · 07-08-2006, 11:14 PM

Agree - I told my Wife, reffering to my Axioms of Human Condition which I think she knows by now (I am a knowitall remember!) that 1) People for the most part do not change. Don't expect it cuz it most likely will not happen. 2) People are most often motivated by self interests which also act as defensive mechanisms. They may not be well understood by any outsider but the individual has structured them into a personality maze that often they are captive. 3) People rarely take advice and use it to adjust #1 and/or #2.

I have yet to be proved wrong with these (even with the qualifyers of 'most often' or 'for the most part' and 'rarely' )and and I expect nothing different here.

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

one of the most important thing I've learned (and have to relearn on a daily basis) is that most of the time it isn't about me...

Laugh it off. The guy is profoundly unhappy. He is what he is.

well, unless you really *are* a knowitall rat b@stard...in which case you should buy him a beer for his excellent perception and stellar people-skills

RANDY P · RANDY P's Garage

One of two things. He's truly envious and has it in for you, or he's just one of those guys who imposes on everyone until he's told to stop - like marking his territory. Sounds (and looks like from how Mom set him up) he's just a spoiled rich kid.

Snicker when he makes his jabs, and jest him back next time. Just make sure you say it with a smile. Always, mean no offense (at least when he asks you what you mean)

Doing this will define your limits with him. He crosses it, then you know what he's all about - he isn't your friend..

Wife is right, it's your home and if she's offended, by all means stick up for yourself.

rjp

RANDY P · RANDY P's Garage

another option is simply to show indifference. Just ignore him everytime he talks himself up.. Literally don't acknowledge him. That should get the message across.

Never, ever appear pushed by his comments.

rjp

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

sneak up behind him and cut his achilles tendon. He won't be able to come through on the ball...he'll push everything to the right. He'll give up the game...

Milu · 07-09-2006, 12:22 AM

As you said, he's a tool and it seems his wife is contaminated too. Don't rise to the bait, keep a distance and laugh at them in private. Not worth the trouble of confronting them, especially in light of the kids' friendship.

Vipergrün · 07-09-2006, 12:41 AM

He's got a case of "little pee pee" syndrome. Lifes to short to waste on people like that.

Aurel · Aurel's Garage

We have two typical clashing personalities here: a Red Neck who thinks he is the gratest because he makes money, and a phD guy who has something his money will never buy him: knowledge. I would just push him in the pond next time he hangs around.

Aurel

Icemaster · Icemaster's Garage

Kick him in the nuts.

Just kidding.

It ain't worth the angst. He's got a little unit, is easily intimidated with a fragile ego manifesting itself in an overinflated sense of self worth and value in an effort to compensate and create something where there is nothing.

Life's too short to get caught up with stuff like this IMHO. No doubt, you are the better/bigger man in this equation, you don't need to prove it to anyone.

Now, about those boobie shots....?

Hetmann · 07-09-2006, 06:16 AM

Interesting story. I bet the guys is not doing as well as he let's on. Poor attempt at alpha male posturing. Okay for coyotes and bull elk but not humans. I don't think you want him at your house or around your kids.

munro86 · 07-09-2006, 06:17 AM

Are you a knowitall?

Vipergrün · 07-09-2006, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by munro86
Are you a knowitall?

Look at his post, incorrect spelling, punctuation, grammer....

Moses · 07-09-2006, 06:31 AM

I have a slightly different take on this.

The guy really doesn't like you. Why? Because you're smart, affable and happy. He's socially clumsy and insecure.

What really bothers him is the fact that you make it all look so damned easy. He hates you. But then, he probably hates a lot of people. He'll never be your best friend, so I'd just let it go. He's just another butt head with an attitude.

M.D. Holloway · 07-09-2006, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by munro86
Are you a knowitall?

I know what I know and I wouldn't know what I don't know and I still don't know what I don't know but somethimes I think I don't know what know, no, thats not right....I Know I don't know somethings and I know I should know other things and I don't know some things I should know...I guess I don't know shyt!

Icemaster · Icemaster's Garage

He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool. Shun him.

He who knows not, and knows that he knows not is simple. Teach him.

He who knows, and knows not that he knows, is asleep. Wake him.

He who knows, and knows that he knows is wise. Follow him.

cool_chick · 07-09-2006, 08:01 AM

Well, he does have a point Mike......

haha

This is kinda funny because I met Mike before, talked to him a hundred million times........and to be honest, I don't get where the hell Chris came up with that.....that's not even close.......

Screw people like that. Let it go for the sake of your wife and Nikki's friendship and if he says anything rude again, get yourself a good laugh because more than likely it's not even remotely close to being true. His jealousies are his problem, not yours....