You see, that fossil was made of dolomite, the tough black mineral that wont cop out when there's heat all around. By contrast, observe the lava's effect on this ice swan. Of course, that would have melted at room temperature; I just wanted to get rid of it. But had it been made of that righteous mineral dolomite, theres a slim chance it may have survived.

Hmm...I have to invent something in the next ten minutes. Perhaps some sort of Death Clock!

Bring it on Santa! That bloodthirsty cadaver junkie can't touch us as long as we're not stupid enough to leave this building!

In a related matter, You'll be delivering this sack of children's letters directly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune!

Follow the money trail. . .

Wherever Lay, Skilling, et al put their $$$ over the last five years, you'll find dead bodies or a wall of silence or corruption - rest assured.

Actually, she wasn't really my girlfriend, she just lived nextdoor and never closed her curtains.

Bre-x anyone?

Does Wayne have one of those contests going? Who will make the billionth post, something like that?

No, he was just stuck in a Futurama loop, I feel funnier after reading them, hmm