depends on the type of kids i have. i cut losers off, after highschool.

I've heard some folks say they don't save for their children's college because it affects how much help they get from the school or gov't. Any thoughts on this?

i just instituted a variation of the match with my 9 year old son. He gets an allowance based on chores he does around my apartment. He can spend the money on what he wants, *but* he must have 2X the amount of what he spends saved up.

As for what he'll get...I'll do as much as I can. I already have a college savings account going for him (payroll deducted with some tax advantage...the ex set it up). My dad supposedly has a trust set up for him, but his new wife is now executor rather than me, so I'm not counting on that. The rule is however that if he decides he doesn't want to go to college, I keep the money that I saved.

As for inheritance? He wants the 911. That works for me. I'll likely try and help him with the down payment to buy his first house assuming I have the means (my dad did). But given my hobbies, I doubt I'm going to have a huge estate to pass on. I plan to follow the Paul Newman model of driving until I'm old and gray...

Sounds like trying to justify lazyness or a lack of planning.

I kinda like the post earlier in this thread, remember who will be wiping your ass when you are to old to.
When I wanted a go kart as a kid, Dad made me match dollar for dollar the cost. Mowed my azz off all summer, kept a book and made deposits every Friday till I had enough. Did the same thing with my first car, I believe a 79 or 80 RX-7. Thought I went to heaven on that one.
He paid my college tuition as well. I had it better than most I admit, but was no lazy azz either. Took care of the yard, pool, washed the cars unsolicited.
Same thing on my first home. A little 1400 sf fixer upper with my wife when we got married, helped with the down payment. Granted he had the ability to write a check for what ever I wanted, he made me put some value on it. Bottom line is I had to earn it. BEST DAMN THING HE DID FOR ME.
As things turn out, me 41, him 73. He took some financial lumps over time and needs help now. What he gave me growing up and what that man taught me come back to him ten fold. I own a small 7 figure business that gives him a place to go to every day, gives him something to do in the lonliness of old age when spouses and friends pass.
I have 3 kids now, yes, I expect to pay their tuition and help with all the BS stuff that will come along the way before and after college. 8 year old son has to take out the trash every day, if I have to ask him, NO PAY. Has to do it on his own. That is the deal.
Sorry for the cheezy post here, but this struck a cord with me. I want to be along for the ride with my kids all the way. I figure when it is all done with, that is all you really have.

hmm, I may have to renegotiate the deal with my 9 year old. He does his chores, but it requires my input (and the requisite large sigh from him).

College of his choosing but with my approval. Hell, I'll even spring for Ivy League if he gets in. Tuition, food, dorm, whatever it takes to graduate with a 3.0 GPA in a relevant field of study. If his grades slip so will my help.

First and last month's rent on his apartment after graduation from college.

Help with downpayment on a house. Wedding costs and gifts.

I'll be very generous with my grandchildren. My son gets all that I have when my wife and I die (if there's anything left).

I hope my money and my life run out on the same day.

That's pretty cold. I think that later in life, as you age, you will begin to realize that until you die, you'll always be a parent...who cares. I try not to care, but it doesn't work. My daughter is 36, makes good money, currently working on her 2nd hubby. During her divorce from number one? Yeah, we kicked in a few bucks...

I voted "The bank of dad" but have limitations on this one. I only have one kid. She is 7 right now and we have her in private school to the tune of about 10 grand a year. We want her to have a really good education and be able to be the big fish in a small pond later on.
She has her share of responsibility around the house. She gets an allowance every week. I tell her that for every one hundred dollars that she "saves" that I will give her the first $30 towards starting the next hundred.
I will not be getting any inheritance from my folks except for rich memories. My folks took care of me in other ways growing up. I am trying to pass some of that on with my own family.
There is no free ride. Responsibility and respect.

We have a winner! And why not ask 'What wouldn't you do to help your kids?'

You know that is pretty easy to arrange. spend your last couple of hundred on a gun and some ammo. No need to get anything to fancy but don't want to go too cheap and risk a misfire.

I want them to have the best possible life, if I can help it. We have a long family tradition going back to my grandparents where most of us live pretty close and help out in any way we can. Goes both ways of course. Currently I am the one with the money - when I get old they will be. I will help take care of my grand children and my children will help with my shopping and furniture moving (yes and wiping my ass).

None of the above options is exactly me. Important stuff I will pay for but I am very strict on spending money. No shopping sprees aloud unless their own money is used. Nothing worse than spoiled rotten brats. I went to the most upper snot class boarding school there is in Sweden. All kids coming from the richest families in the country. I hated it and felt kind of sorry for my class mates. They all had a Visa card with at least $100k on for immediate needs. A different world. One of my best friends´father was top 5 richest in Sweden during our teens. My friend was used to have what ever he liked, when ever he wanted. The business took a turn for the worst and during two months period my friend lost $1 million and suddenly the whole family was broke. Never recuperated. Is a wreck. Poor sods.

Whatever it takes.
And it might not be just financial support.

I plan on being there always for them.

I want them to be happy. I hope we can give them our values as they grow up and I hope they'll be able to understand the importance of fighting for their dreams.

I find that our society tends to reduce everything to a rat race. You need to get the kids into the best kindegarde so that they can get into the best school/high-school/college/master/job etc.
It never stops, from the age of 5 you are required to perform to acheive.... what?
We never stop and look back. I realize that a good school and a good education will help.
But hopefully they will have the luxury to make some decisions, take some paths that were not open for me.

That's how I want to support/help my children.

Money is overrated. I started with noting, made some, lost it all, made it back. I am no more happy today than I was when I didnt have a dime. Yeah I now have a 911... big deal...

I want them to understand that.

At the same time I realize we do not live in outer space and hence I will be there to help them through their studies and with their first house. I see a lot of friends that are struggling to meet ends and this is putting a strain on their relationships.

Hopefully when I die they will be on their feet and won't need any more financial support.

I think it depends on why you decided to have kids in the first place. If you see your kids merely as caretakers for your old age, then your relationship with them is essentially tran$actional and you should pay them accordingly. If you see them as adorable and occassionally troubling pets, then pay up to (or including) college and then cut them loose. They will either succeed or fail on their own and you can sit back and enjoy the show. Pets can be very entertaining. If, however, you see them as your flesh and blood and your primary gift to the future, then I suggest you give them everything within your power to give and then some. Everything you give them now (and in the future) will have a ripple effect for many generations to come. I am sure most of us can look back and see how the actions of our grandparents and great grand parents etc have influenced the course of our lives and of our extended families. I know I certainly can.

Presumably, when you sign up to be a parent, you are agreeing to a life long commitment to help other people (i.e. your kids) and to help set a positive, stable course for your descendents for many generations. It really is sad to see how few people take that responsibility seriously. It is, and should be, an awesome task. And frankly, if you aren't willing to follow through, then by all means, please consider another path in life. Lots of people ***** out kids who probably should have had goldfish instead!

The common excuse, of course, for copping out of parental responsibility, is that the kids will become "spoiled". Frankly, that is a lot of self-serving bull*****. I'm sure we all know counter-exampes of people who came from wealthy families and yet worked very hard to achieve their own success. I am equally sure we all know of people who came from meager backgrounds and yet have a bizarre sense of entitlement. On balance, good parenting produces good kids. And parents with strong moral fiber will generally produce kids with strong moral fiber and visa versa.

I dunno Janus. Some of the kids I've seen who were handed everything have turned out to be pretty bad adults who could never stand on their own two feet if the checks stopped coming from mom and dad. It's especially common in the this area, where so many folks make tiny gov't. salaries but the cost of living is on par with CA or NYC. Lots of those folks live on their parents' dime long after college and I can't see how that is healthy at all. My folks let me starve and sink here, throwing me an anvil or two along the way and I think I'm a far better person for it. Can't remember every uttering the words "But it's not fair". Sure hear it a lot from others though.

I was actually editing my post to address that point while you were responding. I believe the example you set for you children is far more important than the bank account. I'm very sorry to hear you parents threw anvils at you. There are much better ways to build character in children. Examples of kids with rock solid characters coming from supportive homes abound. May I ask, why did they choose such a negative path when more positive (and potentially more effective) options were available? Did they have some sort of resentment or anger against you that they were expressing in your adulthood?

:confused: :(

My folks gave me plenty of character-building experiences and I don't think many of them were necessarily bad things. Since they were never rich and really struggled to afford to send me to a prep school which cost twice as much as my college education, I don't have much room to whine. But immediately after college when I was really struggling to get on my feet, my old man was about as tough as he'd ever been. I was used to it, but the whole thing was somewhat exacerbated by seeing the handouts they constantly gave my sister. Of course, now I can appreciate it a lot more since my sister just got her first real job about a year ago at the tender age of 31 and had been pretty poor up until then. And the fact that I've been killing time on Pelican, playing with Porsches for the last five or so years means I've done considerably better with the lot my folks handed me.

Well, I'm glad it worked out for you. If I take a quick mental survey of the people I've known in life, I'd have to conclude that "throwing anvils" at your kids is a pretty low probability plan for parental success. But if you already had a college education in hand, then you certainly had a leg up on most people. Like I said, I'm glad it worked out for you. Most of the time, from what I observe, it doesn't.

I was actually thinking about this topic this morning, I'm not sure why....then I found this thread...how interesting.

My parents paid for my college and I'm still not sure how they managed to do make it happen. And my old man continued to pay the tuition bills despite my desire to get a "worthless" political science degree. Eventually I was able to get a job.
When my wife and I decided to build our first house they kicked in some money as well. I was thinking this morning that I want to do the same thing for my kid(s).

We don't have children yet so maybe my perspective will change over time.

I've watched "Nanny 911" a couple of times...makes me a little worried. :eek: