Temp position - substitute smarta$$ needed

[craigster59]

Dude.. YOU type fast....

[nostatic]

Originally posted by LubeMaster77
check...

and mate


In this letter, I will try to describe Scottmandude's op-ed pieces in such a way that my language will not offend and yet will still convey my message that stereotyping and victim-blaming is not more respectable when it is performed by a member of the group being demeaned. Permit me this forum to rant. If Scottmandude were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that human life is full of artificiality, perversion, and misery, much of which is caused by the most irritable lunkheads you'll ever see. That's clear. But he says that he can achieve his goals by friendly and moral conduct. Wow! Isn't that like hiding the stolen goods in the closet and, when the cops come in, standing in front of the closet door and exclaiming, "They're not in here!"? Scottmandude's most progressive idea is to flush all my hopes and dreams down the toilet. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. Scottmandude can make no claim to a distinguishing talent of any kind, but, as you know, any rational argument must acknowledge this. Scottmandude's diabolic, primitive précis, naturally, do not.

Anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for "advanced" thought in the humanities already knows that Scottmandude's fibs are a ticking time bomb, set to institutionalize fogyism through systematic violence, distorted religion, and dubious science. What may be news, however, is that I can guarantee the readers of this letter that I call upon him to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to trick academics into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry. I guess what I really mean to say is that my love for people necessitates that I give the needy a helping hand, as opposed to an elbow in the face. Yes, I face opposition from Scottmandude. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder. I assert that we should present a clear picture of what is happening, what has happened, and what is likely to happen in the future, and I have formalized my commitment to this high ideal by ensuring that I always tackle the multinational death machine that he is currently constructing. He has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of his successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. Although there are no formal, external validating criteria for Scottmandude's flippant, yellow-bellied claims, I think we can safely say that he has gone around the bend with his paranoia. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that this is a free country, and I aver we ought to keep it that way.

Scottmandude likes to brag about how the members of his den of thieves are ideologically diverse. Perhaps that means that some of them prefer Stalin over Hitler. In any case, Scottmandude and I disagree about our civic duties. I feel that we must do our utmost to address the legitimate anger, fear, and alienation of people who have been mobilized by Scottmandude because they saw no other options for change as expeditiously as possible. Scottmandude, on the other hand, believes that his epigrams are Holy Writ. He frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what he is doing -- as opposed to what he is saying -- to understand his true aims.

I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don't realize that if you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong. At the risk of belaboring the obvious, I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people. I can therefore assure you that there is a format Scottmandude should follow for his next literary endeavor. It involves a topic sentence and supporting facts. To seize control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others is an injustice. I don't normally want to expose anyone to rigorous sarcasm, satire and disdain, but Scottmandude undoubtedly deserves it. He and his serfs are headstrong, pusillanimous recidivists. This is not set down in complaint against them, but merely as analysis.

I can honestly suggest how Scottmandude ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Scottmandude himself. If the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to expose the connections between the illiberal, dictatorial problems that face us and the key issues of immoralism and anarchism. Let me close by reminding you that the statements I made about Scottmandude in this letter are in earnest. I will not equivocate. I will not excuse. I will not retreat a single inch. And I will be heard.

[craigster59]

Nostatic...Could you repeat that again.. You lost me at "Trotskyism" and
"Taradiddles". I was picking a scab, but I swear, I was trying to keep up...

[Z-man]

So...Nostatic....does this mean you're applying for the temp job?!?

You had me at Hello. Er, rather, you had me lost at "This is to voice my dissatisfaction..."
-Z.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

There is no static. Everything is coming through clearly. I can assure you The Bushy Administration has no evidence of static or weapons of mass static as none exist.

The Death Star is SECURE!! There is no rebel attack. Truly, I can say there are, in fact, no rebels anywhere. The Emporer, All Praise The Mighty Doug, will rule a thousand years! Again, there are no rebels and there is no static!!! It is LIES!!

[xlr8]

All your posts are belong to us.

[M.D. Holloway]

Ya see Todd, as a guy that re-uses info on a daily basis I can quickly identify when someone ‘recycles’ copy. There is no why on Earth even you could write that fast and with little to no clarity with out the use of strong drugs or a handy dandy cut-n-paste technique only privy to the likes of Mullhollandaze and FatScat. You, my fine written friend used an old college term paper to imitate Scott’s rants. That sir is a flagrant foal and may have fractured certain copy write laws! Now I'm not the type of guy to call in the lawyers or anything and frankly I think we can settle this like reasonable people. Krugerrands. Plain and simple Krugerrands. I think if you ship me a few dozen then this issue can quickly resolve itself.


(Check, as in the term one uses in Poker to pass the bet to the next player and see which way they will go)

Call...

[nostatic]

Mike,

Blow me.

No wait, get your neighbor's wife to blow me.

Then I'll correct her hubby's Spanglish.

No wait, sue me.

No wait, is her name Sue? Ok, then sueSue me.

No wait, I think my g/f might get pissed off. Or aroused. Hmm. I need to buy video tape. And lube. Lots of lube.

Hey, we've come full circle. So to speak.

What was the question?

[M.D. Holloway]

Now thats mo like it - true Scoot, actually vintage Scott! I lost that hand...

[DonDavis]

I... I mean ... that is.....


Todd, I feel nausea and comfort after blousing through your posts.

Mad skilz, bra!