How much would you like to do for your children?

Moses · 05:56 AM

If you have the means, how much do you want to do for your kids? I met with a retirement planner yesterday who was surprised to hear that I felt no need to leave a big inheritance for my kids. My parents were generous with me, or so I thought. They provided my college tuition and mostly paid for medical school. There will be no inheritance from my parents, they are spending their savings now. That's pretty much what I'd like to do for my kids. Seems right to me. What do you think?

masraum · 07-20-2006, 06:00 AM

I don't see the need to leave anything, but I wouldn't try to spend everything so they get nothing.

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

Wouldn't some of it depend on them, how they behaved and treated you as they were growing up?

Interesting question, but if the kid was a brat and constantly in trouble and what-not, I'd probably say "three hots and a cot 'til 18". If they were well-behaved, well-mannered and genuinely tried hard in school, etc. I'd probably be inclined to provide more help.

In today's housing market I doubt we can buy a first home for ourselves, much less our children though. . .

David · David's Garage

I plan to pay for my son's college. My concern is that my first degree was paid for and I didn't appreciate what I got. I partied through 5 years and barely graduated with a degree that was pretty useless to me, a BA in Economics. After a year in the real world, I went back to school and got an engineering degree on my own nickel. It was probably just being older that made me study more and get good grades the second time around, but I wonder if I had been paying my own way the first time if I would have tried harder to stay in engineering.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

I'd pay for college for my kids if it were affordable for me. But I certainly wouldn't squeeze myself to do it. I really can't understand why people actually aspire to leave money for their kids when they die. It's one thing to not want the death tax to take it all away. But don't parents expect their kids to be productive and responsible adults by the time they die?

osidak · 07-20-2006, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rick Lee
But don't parents expect their kids to be productive and responsible adults by the time they die?

I am putting as much as I can away for my son's college (he is 3 currently). My schooling was paid for and while I took it seriously I know I goofed some. My wife paid for her schooling and had almost 20K in debt after all was said and done - She spent her entire time in school really stressed out about how she was going to pay for it. We paid off her student loans last year.

As for leaving money - I know my father wants to leave me some. I don't expect or want him to even think about it as he worked hard and should enjoy it. That being said I want to leave my son something as well. Guess it is that desire to help out as much as possible all the way up to the end. I also want him to be stand up independent guy so it is a tricky balance.

VincentVega · 07-20-2006, 06:50 AM

x2 I would rather my folks give me something now so we can enjoy it together. Cash when they are dead? Not interested, it's their $$.

charlesbahn · charlesbahn's Garage

I've been down this road with my three sons. Alot depends on what you can afford. I wouldn't bankrupt the family if the funds for college just arn't there. In my case, I covered the college expenses and co-signed loans for professional schools (law and engineering). Although I probably could have managed to cover the post graduate tuitions, and my sons at the time thought it highly unfair that I didn't, it did turn out well. I believe that at that level, they perform better if they're on the hook for the loans and know the costs. Buying houses is still in our future, I'll probably not just give outright gifts unless an inheritance tax advantage permits it. After my wife and I are gone, what's left over is theirs.

Seahawk · 07-20-2006, 07:01 AM

If they warrent it, college is, I think, a responsibility...so far both my children are on track.

The rest is all situational. When I was 19, I had the opportunity to buy-in on a fledgling rafting company started by two older special ed teachers who I had run rivers with for another rafting company the previous summer.

I was short about 5K, which was a lot of money in 1977. My father and I structured a reasonable repayment plan based on my take of the profits and the salary we all payed ourselves...I also worked during school. The deal was fair, not usury.

He gave me an opportunity I otherwise could not have afforded. I repaid him well ahead of schedule.

When it came time for my first house, we repeated the same deal on a larger scale with the same results.

alf · 07-20-2006, 07:44 AM

Education, help with down payment on first house, anything left over goes to the grand children'd education trust.

Howard Agency · 07-20-2006, 08:37 AM

Not just financially, but my parents gave me all the support they could. I took care of them when they could no longer support themselves.

I give my kids all I can. Let's see if they put me in a decent home when the time comes.

gaijindabe · 07-20-2006, 08:50 AM

We have a nice piece of property in my family (a vacation place), and no matter how much I make or could make (within reason), my siblings and I could never duplicate a place like this.. I dont want cash, or stocks, or bonds - but I am glad my parents are passing this along.

Dantilla · 07-20-2006, 09:05 AM

If there are significant assets, I like the idea of a yearly match. Set up a trust, and whatever the kid makes in a year, the trust matches that amount as that year's inheritance. A couch potato gets nothing. A resorceful kid who is motovated gets rewarded.

I do not want my daughter to grow up thinking she is entitled to a life of leisure. I don't want her to think she's entitled to ANYTHING.

My job as a parent is not to prepare a path for her. My job is to prepare her for the path she will face when I am not there.

BlueSkyJaunte · 07-20-2006, 09:09 AM

An investment in your children is an investment in your own future...who's gonna wipe your ass when you can't do it for yourself anymore?

mikester · 07-20-2006, 09:13 AM

You're missing one option there Mo - "The best you can."

That's my goal; the best I can provide I will. I WANT to provide for them as much as they need. The reality is that what is best for them is what I will try to do. If it is best for them to pay for their college then I will try but if it is best that they pay for it themselves then I will suffer that one as well.

Moses · 07-20-2006, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dantilla
I like the idea of a yearly match. Set up a trust, and whatever the kid makes in a year, the trust matches that amount as that year's inheritance.

I really like that idea. I have three kids, so I would need to set up three equally funded trusts. Best to not have the kids competing to see who can drain the inheritance pool the fastest!

alf · 07-20-2006, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dantilla
If there are significant assets, I like the idea of a yearly match. Set up a trust, and whatever the kid makes in a year, the trust matches that amount as that year's inheritance. A couch potato gets nothing. A resorceful kid who is motovated gets rewarded.

That indeed is a good idea, i have to look into it.

Alf

Nathans_Dad · Nathans_Dad's Garage

I'll probably do for my kids what my parents did for me. Put me through high school, bought me my first car, paid for my college and sent me money to pay for apartment rent, gas, etc. They also gave me a little money to help me get through medical school. After I got married during my 3rd year of medical school I finally cut the umbilical cord (my idea not theirs).

So I'll put my kids through school and then I expect them to make their own way. My funding of their school is contingent on their trying their very best and making good grades. My step father is STILL supporting his 26 year old daughter who is putzing around in community college and has a child out of wedlock. No thanks!

Mr_Wizard · 07-20-2006, 10:40 AM

Made it easy on my Pops, walked out the door 3 weeks after graduating HS and never looked back. He offered to help pay for college, but I was stubborn as hell and said, nope I will do it on my own. I did get that highly independant streak from him. Than life happens, you get married, buy a house, buy a P-Car, get divorced ect. I am just now getting round to going to college. Should be graduating next November, but that is up in the air because I don't know when I am going back to the big kitty litter box.

I would like to say (and i voted,) 18 and your out the door. This is probably because I dont have any kids, but I assume that if I ever do, I would help pay for college then they are on their own.

MikeSid · 07-20-2006, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dantilla
I like the idea of a yearly match. Set up a trust, and whatever the kid makes in a year, the trust matches that amount as that year's inheritance.

My father did the same thing every year before family vacations when we were all pretty young. Any thing you could earn between the day school got out and the day we left for vacation, he'd match. The idea was just to provide spending money and encourage work ethic in the summer - not amass a family fortune.

With my oldest brother, the first experiment, my optomistic father agreed to TRIPLE what he earned. Well... that didn't work out so well. Apparently big bro worked his butt off mowing lawns and weeding neighbor's yards and the trebled amount was far more than anticipated.

In the following years, we all (all 7 of us) got the "vacation match" and the motivation was still there. But only big bro hit the triple.

Parental matching is good in any form provided the funds are available. I should also point out, that this happened when we were all pretty young - under 12. By 12 the boys had newspaper routes and the girls babysat. Once we all had jobs, Dad couldn't keep up with that kind of action with 7 kids.