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The Unsettler
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Worst day today
My wifes 94 year old grandmother went into the hospital last week. Never sick a day in her life and has lived on her own her own up till now.
She refused tests and treatment and we put her into a hospice this week. She had made up her mind that she was done. My phone rang at 4 this morning. Thought for sure it was my in laws with bad news. Instead it was my fathers girlfriend. He is 72 and has been battling colon and prostate cancer as well as having been on dyalisis for the last 5 years. Turns out that he has an aortic aneurysm that they found 3 years ago and at the time they decided he was to high risk to operate on. He never told us. It was leaking so now they had no choice but to go in. Long story short, Grandma Ruth went peacefully at 8 this morning, my dad at 5 tonight. What a **** day.
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"I want my two dollars" "Goodbye and thanks for the fish" "Proud Member and Supporter of the YWL" "Brandon Won" |
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Turgid Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 425
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Wow. I feel for you, man. An unbelievable day, to say the least.
Thoughts and prayers are with you, brother.
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'87 Carrera "Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok" |
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I'm with Bill
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Jensen Beach, FL
Posts: 13,028
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My wifes Grandfather will go soon. I have lost my grandfather on my moms side and my grandmother. All in their 80's.
I have been to funerals for all of them. I have also been to a funeral for a 18 y/o cousin and a good friend who was 53. Maybe its just me but when they are in their late 80's early 90's the funeral should be a celebration of the wonderfu life they have lived and how they have touched everyones lives. More so the legacy they are leaving behind. I was not so sad at my Grandparents funerals. Sure it hurt and I missed them but it was not tragedy. It was expected. They were in pain and even though they try to hide it not enjoying life too much anymore. My wifes grandfather turned to me last weekend and informed me he declined corrective surgery on his heart for a faulty valve. He looked me straight in the eyes and said he was done and wated to rest in peace. He is tired of all the pain and wants it to stop. That made me more sad than when he dies. When he dies he will be in peace. My prayers are with you and I hope you can find a moment to reflect on their lives and smile, they would want you to smile.
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1978 Mini Cooper Pickup 1991 BMW 318i M50 2.8 swap 2005 Mini Cooper S 2014 BMW i3 Giga World - For sale in late March |
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Registered
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 160
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My wife and I know well what you are going through - you are not alone.
You are in our thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself and your wife.
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'83 911sc '86 944 Generic vehicle made in this century |
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Man, that is rough. I feel for you.
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techweenie | techweenie.com Marketing Consultant (expensive!) 1969 coupe hot rod 2016 Tesla Model S dd/parts fetcher |
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,569
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My sympathies as well. The generational passing of the torch is part of life. But the comfort of knowing that is small when loved ones die. Hang on to the good memories.
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,492
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Strength to you.
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1969 911 E Coupe "Little Bull" "Horse" "H." Heart, "G." Gears, and "P" the Porsche |
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I lost my Great Uncle a few months back, and then my Great Aunt, meine Tante Lenie, last month. This was a couple who had survived WWII in Nazi-controlled Austria, had their village invaded and bombed by the Russians, and lived to tell the tale. I still can't believe my Tante is gone, she seemed too tough to ever let death come her way, but I think, with her husband gone, that it was just her time and Im glad she went peacefully.
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'75 911S 3.0L '75 914 3.2 Honda J '67 912R-STi '05 Cayenne Turbo '99 LR Disco 2, gone but not forgotten |
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Team California
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I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, but in a strange way it's a blessing that 2 separate losses/sad occurrences have been combined into one bad day instead of two. This is assuming of course that both losses were inevitable, at some point. I hope this makes sense and does not sound insensitive, but I am one that is always trying to find the silver lining or "not sad" part of tragedy or death.
To live 94 years in total health and then die suddenly w/o suffering makes her one of the luckiest humans on earth. Her kharma must have been incredible. Celebrate that, even though you will miss her. Your Dad was a lot younger, but hopefully he went peacefully w/o too much discomfort as well. My Dad is 74 and in remission from cancer, every day is extra innings for him at this point. Next time he gets sick will be the last time, but he is enjoying what time he has left right now. I hope that you are happy and living to the fullest soon, those two will never really be gone IMO. They live forever in your psyche, the mark they made on this earth is permanent. ![]()
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Denis In other news, a felon from Queens pardoned another felon from Queens this week. ![]() |
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A Man of Wealth and Taste
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Out there somewhere beyond the doors of perception
Posts: 51,063
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At some point we get tired of the burden of fighting on for another day, Death comes as a welcome friend, relieving us of the pain and suffering as we decline in health. At 94 Grandma had a good run and was able to experience life to the best of her ability, she really did choose her time to go which is really quiet remarkable.
Do these words help... some, but it still does not cover over the empty spots at the table you have. The loss is incomprehensible , but as I said time will dull the pain, but never the love or memories you have of them. Those you will have for the rest of your life.
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durn for'ner
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: South of Sweden
Posts: 17,090
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I am sorry for your loss. Be strong and take good care.
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Markus Resident Fluffer Carrera '85 |
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Registered
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 1,086
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I truely understand what you are going through. My father and my grandmother died 2 days apart. I am very sorry that you have had to experience this. You have my sincere condolences.
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 30,533
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I am very sorry for you loss...you have my sincere condolences also.
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Registered
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Tucson AZ USA
Posts: 8,228
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To go quickly and unannounced is my fervent wish.
Condolances to you and your family.
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Bob S. former owner of a 1984 silver 944 |
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Super Jenius
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Godspeed to your grandmother and father. I add my sincere condolences to you and your family to the chorus.
JP
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2003 SuperCharged Frontier ../.. 1979 930 ../.. 1989 BMW 325iX ../.. 1988 BMW M5 ../.. 1973 BMW 2002 ../..1969 Alfa Boattail Spyder ../.. 1961 Morris Mini Cooper ../..2002 Aprilia RSV Mille ../.. 1985 Moto Guzzi LMIII cafe ../.. 2005 Kawasaki Brute Force 750 |
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: France
Posts: 4,596
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Best wishes for you and your family. I know my words can help so very little. But they are in ernest.
Take care, Richard
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Who Dares, Wins! |
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Bye, Bye.
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 6,167
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Keep you chin up. Best wishes to you and your family.
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Elvis has left the building. |
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Registered
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Dismal Nitch, AZ
Posts: 9,042
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Man, truly a sad time for you...from both barrels. Very tough!
![]() God bless you and your family. . I lost my father suddenly when I was 12. Each subsequent loss reintroduced me to the grieving over that event. I can now see much of him in me...it's better. . I've always liked the name Ruth. Ruth - Friendly by nature, strong, trustworthy.
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Don . "Fully integrated people, in their transparency, tend to not be subject to mechanisms of defense, disguise, deceit, and fraudulence." - - Don R. 1994, an excerpt from My Ass From a Hole in the Ground - A Comparative View |
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Registered
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,284
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my sincerest condolences. If you havent already, dont forget to cry hard and scream loud. Its not good to hold it in.
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Have you ever felt suffocated while watching the Oxygen Channel? People with excuses fail. As soon as I OK my actions with an excuse, I cease bettering myself. 88 Carrera |
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,547
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Scott, your family is in our prayers. It sounds like both were very strong willed individuals. Celebrate their lives and mourn their loss, David
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