Yes, it is.

It is very unfortunate that there are some teachers like this. I am a volunteer teacher (high end 9th grade science research) in a large high school (3800 enrolment) and I know a few.

I too had to deal with this when my older adopted son was in school. He was a Special Ed student and the program administrator/teacher suggested that she might misinterpret test results if I didn’t “back off” seeing that the kid got the proper services. They would write fancy IEPs and then not follow through.

I had tape recorded the meeting. The next meeting was with the District’s Supervisor and attorney. After that things went smoothly. Every meeting had a tape recorder in the middle of the table. Sad but necessary in some cases.

Best,
Grady

My father had a discussion with a teacher of mine.
At the meeting was the Priest (teacher), Dad and his legal assistant named Colt 45..
He layed it out real simple, mess with him again, I will ring your bells,

Rika

I almost went to court over a teacher lying about me, it was ugly and made the papers. It was my senior year and I just wanted to be done with it so I dropped it. My father wanted to take it to the Supreme Court:D We had public and private hearings in front of the board with media coverage and everything, it was unreal.

Yes the teacher flat ass lied to the board of education. Two teachers were involved and they covered each others asses.

I had other teachers coming up to me in private and cheering me on and others that made it clear I was not liked(one almost came to blows).

I don't know if it's from working with children every day or what, but the juvenile actions of most of the teachers was unreal.

One of the teachers apologized to me after the fact (in tears mind you).

[getting angry again]

So I called the priciple today. Well, tried to. I had to leave a meesage. I tried to only give my first name and a phone number but that would not do. I had to give my last name.

Next step?

The principle went on an @ss covering mission, she pulled my son from class and had him sent to her office with the guidance counselor in attendance as well. She then drilled my son on why I was calling and what was going on. When my son told her I was mad that he had to write a letter of apology, the guidance counselor cut him off and finished his story leaving out the part about him being forced to do it. He realized right there he was in a bad situation and clammed up.

The Principle then called me and was a bit of a wise @ss with me. She asked what the problem was, I responded I needed a few minutes of her time tomarrow to discuss a situation and when could we meet.

She then asked me what the problem was, I responded I would rather discuss it in person. Then she asked if it was in referance to Mrs. Rodgers Neighborhood. I said yes, she kept asking questions, so I sadi, you want to do this on the phone? She said yes

So I went into it. Then I found out she interviewed my son. I asked why she felt the need to go on a fact finding mission and why she couldn't just return my phone call. She said she wanted to know what was going on before she called me. So I again asked why she could not ask me, she then responded that she just wanted to talk to my son. I felt like I was chasing my tail.

She said my son never mentioned to her about being forced to write a letter. I responded, he is a little freaked out right now, he has never been called to the front office. She never mentions the guidance counselor is in the room with them. I found that out later.

So now I meet in the morning at 10. I will be taping the meeting because I can already tell this is not going anywhere. I see a lawyer in my future. a-holes.

Standby you, are going into a warzone. Walk softly and carry a big stick.
Play it very cool, be polite, don't back down an inch, after the meeting go immediately to your lawyer and start checking out private schools immediately. Junior is already finished in that school.

Today was his last day of public school, they just do not know it. He is doing an orientation tomarrow at a private school and starting asap there.

My second meeting of the day is with a lawyer.

All I wanted is for his teacher to apologize to him for embarrassing him, that is all. All this BS has pushed me to the point that now I think I would like some tuition money for the private school.

Jim,

I really feel for you and particularly your son. Make it right for him and in doing so you may prevent injustice for other kids. Explain to him all the details. Empower him to look a teacher or principal in the eye and say “I have nothing to say without my Dad here.”

There is good advice above on approaching a meeting. Be prepared.

You will find everyone gets very cautious or “clams up” with a tape recorder or few in the middle of the table. There may be a comment away from the recorders. I have two mini-cassette recorders with powered microphones. I keep one in each pocket and the mikes at chest level. All it takes is one denial in “you said – No I didn’t” to be refuted and their (lying) credibility is gone.

What is the law about recording your own telephone conversation? I know people who have recorded that and then typed out a transcript from “memory” and "notes." Good ‘ol Radio Shack.

Sad state of affairs.

Best,
Grady

Jim,

I'm incredibly sorry it has gone to this extent.

You're my hero for what youre doing for your kids.

Say the word, I know a few guys and I would love to fly down there and have an off the record conversation with the teacher, GC and principal.

Let us know how it goes.

Jim,

You will find these issues in private schools also. It may be even more difficult to have them addressed unless the school is desperate for every tuition dollar. There is public policy and law at work in public schools. Not so in private schools.

Several of my friends were very unhappy with their high-end private school situation for their kids. I will speculate that there is about equal flow of those unhappy with private schools going to public schools as vice versa. The key is what is right for the kid.

I went to public school through 4th grade. We all repeated 4th grade when the private school (Louisville [KY] Country Day) was started. (This was the baby boom era where the public schools had 50+ in a classroom and we ended up with about 15 in private school.) While my experience was great, I recall hearing my parents discussing other’s concerns. By 10th grade I went to boarding school in Princeton, NJ and then to Carnegie Tech (now Carnegie Mellon University) and University of Denver.

I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions – yet.

Best,
Grady

Grady,

I already know the head chief of the private school. She owns a tutoring company that we have been sending our son to. She has always been a phone call away, she is very down to earth and just a regular person. If we had a problem I have no reservation that we could discuss it with her.

This is a montessori school and the structure is a bit different than a public school. We like it and think it will suit our son perfectly. I am not trying to grow an Einstein here, I just want my kid to do well in school and have some self confidence and feel that he is smart.

He has taken some real verbal and mental beating though the public school system.

Wow. I can't believe the level of stupidity this is rising to. If the principal is going to play dirty I would go the whole 9 yards. They get put whatever they wish in his file and they can really make trouble for him should you decide to return to the public schools in the future.

I guess it is now clear why the teacher and guidance counselor are able to act the way they are. I agree that you should also go to the superintendent as well. At this point, I think that you are doing this for the poor kids who are not able to protect themselves. either way make the principal give you a copy of your kids file.

Speaking of trolls. Only an ******* would inject a comment like the one you did in this thread. You must be a product of government schools.

Now, back to the problem, has your son been tested to dyslexia?? I have that, and sounds like we did the same in school, until my parents sent me to private school. In FL. there are only a few areas with a good public school system, the teachers union has done a great job of screwing up the system and doesn't want to be judged on their performance as many are failures, and they like to bl;ame everyone but themselves.

Yes, has issues with dyslexia and he is borderline ADD. This is not the issue at hand though. We have spent thousands of dollars of our own money to tutor and reprogam his brain developing his cognitive skills to better equip him to handle the mundane task of day to day classwork.

Sadly public schools abandoned cognitive teaching years and years ago, they are the basic building blocks of learning and they skip it.

He can list all the presidents from the 1st to GW then do it backwards. Does this sound like a stupid kid to you?

He can learn just fine its just he needs a teacher that will teach him. I have found the old bats are not doing that. The younger teachers are fantastic but the old ones are just grumpy grouchy and need to retire. Proud of their rule with an iron fist mentality.

My issue here is the fact that my son was made to stand before the class then informed he had an F and would not be on the incentive trip. Then the teacher lied to me and said she never spoke to him then the guidence couselor forced him to write and sign a letter then the principle and guidence counselor teamed up on him drilling him with questions trying to trip him up.

A simple "I am sorry" would have ended this.

What about the other kids in the class, have you spoken with them yet?

Jim,

I have spent my entire time as a father fighting this kind of crap. The school, like any workplace will have people who are good at their jobs and people who are bad at them. Unfortunately, unlike other venues, it's difficult to "shop elsewhere". What you have to do is become the omnipresent parent. I visit the school's principle regarding any and every issue. I make sure that the principle and staff fully understand that they will answer to me directly. I don't yell or dictate. I simply ask for an explaination. If their rational is acceptable, I go on my way and thank them for their time. If it is not, I carefully, and cooley explain to them why it is not acceptable and how it will be handled in the future.

Know this-I am on good terms with the faculty at my childrens' school. They know that I am involved and if there is an issue, they will see me. NO ONE wants that-even on friendly terms.

The moral-Definitely go in unannounced and speak with the principle. A surprise visit catches them off guard and makes them very uneasy-you want that. Wait around until they will see you. The principle will get the counselors and teacher involved. This is critical- Do NOT yell, raise your voice, or show any signs of distress. Be calm and cool-like a lawyer impassively cross-examining a witness. You own them and they work for you. Don't patronize, but be firm and serious. Ask who is really failing that class-your son, or the teacher. Is a failing student acceptable at that school? Do they not have standards? Why were you not informed about this in time to correct it? Was extra help offered? Is extra help available through the state? Can you get that in motion? Finally, why was your son humiliated in front of his classmates? Is that standard proceedure? Was it a lesson to him? ....to the other students to serve as a warning? Make sure they understand that you trust your son and take him at his word. You are willing to hear their side, but you are on your son's side.

I'm not sure how it is in your state, but I know that special help is difficult to get everywhere. If help is possible, you might need independant verification of the learning disability. Afterwards, the school hopefully has provisions for putting a program in place for your son. It's not so much that you really want tons of special help as much as you want the faculty to understand that your son has special needs. Under those terms, your son should never fail a class again because it really becomes a failure on the school's part because they were involved. Here in Wisconsin we schedule what is called an IEP. In essence, we sit down with the teachers, counselor, and principle and go over my sons needs and get updates on his progress.

By the time you leave they will understand that you are an involved parent. They will not want other meetings like this one. Unfortunately you will probably have to do this a few times a year to make sure they understand.

PS-demand the letter back. That is simply outrageous. Explain to them that it is demoralizing and will affect his ability to perform at school. As a last resort, imply that legal intervention on your son's behalf is not out of the question.

I am beside myself and do not know what to do.

I am going to talk to my son some more this evening because the school is claiming he has made everything up and its all a lie right down to the guidance counselor forcing him to write a letter. According to her he admitted he lied to me and agreed to write the letter.

My sons story and his friends account of the classroom antics and the teachers are completely different and it seems the guidence couselor is backing the teacher.

All I walked away from the meeting with is my son is suddenly a pathalogical liar and I never knew it. He has always been honest with us always telling us what has happened in school good and bad. If he has bed grades we do not freak out we just work with him to get them back up.

This is totally not like him to be a liar like this he has never done this before.

I really do not know what to do now. The school is positive he is a liar and trying to get the teacher in trouble because he has an F in her class. He failed math last year and the teacher resigned after 3 quarters we are no strangers to F's and trying to overcome them. My son knows we support him 100% so lying to get out of trouble he was not in doesn't make sense to us.

Stand with your son, this group of adults is good at covering their A$$ when conered.
Did he go to the front of the class
Did he have to sign the letter
Did she say because he flunked he will not go to all present.
time to party, and let it be their dime
Rika

jim,
have you contacted the parents of other children in his class who witnessed the teacher's actions? i would think that a handful of signed statements by a good chunk of the class would have to carry some weight. although i can see some parents fear of getting involved.
ryan

This sentence does not make it clear: do the other kids back up your son's story or not?

First, YOU need to be sure of the truth.

And since you're clearly emotionally ragged over all this, please understand that if, after all of this, it does turn out your son was lying or embellishing for whatever reason, he needs your support and love more than ever.