Torture by Hormone

[Superman]

We've got a couple of threads discussing the creatures we call "females" and pointing out the differences between that species and the one in the process of subduing and controlling the Earth called "males."

In a recent thread, someone mentioned that women are spanked around by hormones, but we are not. I've thought about this, and am not ready to agree. Both males and females are victims of hormones. My position is that the male is more victimized than the female. The difference is that men suffer a steady and unfluctuating supply of testosterone, whereas womens' estrogen levels are subject to change.

The male hormone testosterone is a very powerful one. Given to females in the smallest of doses, it produces fairly dramatic changes in attitude. For example, very small doses of testosterone given to females has been known to sharply increase their interest in and enjoyment of......copulation.

When I see a colossal pickup truck with frighteningly massive tires and 14" lift kit roar onto the freeway and immediately swing out to the passing lane at 20 mph over the posted speed limit, cutting off other drivers, I know I am seeing an instance of "testosterone poisoning." Police citation statistics and insurance premiums are examples of the financial cost of "testosterone poisoning."

We can't control ourselves. Our hormone is doing our thinking for us and the only reason we don't get credit for this malady is because our testosterone level does not fluctuate. It is set at "high" for the duration. Women get cut substantially more slack because they are victimized by their hormones SOMETIMES, rather than ALWAYS.

Discuss.

[kang]

Originally posted by Superman

Our hormone is doing our thinking for us...

I thought it was a particular body part that was doing the thinking...

[Moses]

Testosterone is a dangerous drug. Period. The good news is that a mans testosterone cycle is an 80 year process. We generally have adequate time to adjust to our changing hormonal composition.



Women, on the other hand are subjected to constant hormonal flux. This estrogen/progesterone monthly hormonal derangement keeps women in a constant state of change. Imagine what disasters we would be if our testosterone levels underwent the normal 80 year cycle every damn month!

[sammyg2]

If it wasn't for women I would never get up in the morning and go to work.
Testosterone is good thing

[Superman]

Moses' input is consistent with my understanding, and my point here. We men are considered more emotionally "even keeled," but that's only because we are insane ALL the time as opposed to once a month for a week or two. Women hormones are gentler, but fluctuating. Mens' hormones are absolute poison, and they do not fluctuate. We don't get to use the "hormone excuse" because our insanity is constant.

[Moses]

Originally posted by Superman
Moses' input is consistent with my understanding, and my point here. We men are considered more emotionally "even keeled," but that's only because we are insane ALL the time as opposed to once a month for a week or two. Women hormones are gentler, but fluctuating. Mens' hormones are absolute poison, and they do not fluctuate. We don't get to use the "hormone excuse" because our insanity is constant.

That's the whole picture in a nutshell. We're crazy, but predictable. (If that makes sense).

[sammyg2]

"I'd like a beer and to see somethin nekkid"

Jeff Foxworthy

[Jeff Higgins]

I actually suffer more from my wife's constantly fluctuating hormeone levels than from my relatively steady levels.

[arcsine]

We do some stupid ***** but our motivations are generally easy to distill; food, sex, adrenaline, sleep and loyalty. At many levels, guys are not much different from dogs and I am comfortable with that.

What I don't get is that I know my wife's cycle better than she does. I know well in advance if she'll be in good/bad mood, when she can tolerate jokes, when she'll want to jump my bones. It seems to come as a surprise to her every month and has no perspective when she has been psychotic.

[tobster1911]

Originally posted by Superman
The male hormone testosterone is a very powerful one. Given to females in the smallest of doses, it produces fairly dramatic changes in attitude. For example, very small doses of testosterone given to females has been known to sharply increase their interest in and enjoyment of......copulation.

I don't know about all the rest of that, but I think this must be quantified. I propose a Federally funded research project to look into this claim further. I will volunteer to participate for the good of science.








Nevermind, my wife said I couldn't......

[Porsche virgin]

Originally posted by Moses
That's the whole picture in a nutshell. We're crazy, but predictable. (If that makes sense).

Half a dozen men take what, four minutes, to figure out the answer to a fairly complex topic? Not bad.

Now lets go over to the Lifetime forum and pose this same question. 949,324,843,945,892,382,894 posts later, still no agreement.

"If women knew what we were thinking, they would be slapping us all the time."

[Superman]

I'm not as amused by man-bashing as I used to be, and this helps explain. Sure, women become frustrated at certain times of the month. And I'm sure that's inconventient, etc.

But really. Think about the stuff you take for granted and have learned to deal with. Somebody rockets across the core point in his Dodge Megatruck, cuts several people off including you, and settles into the passing lane which is prohibited for vehicles pulling trailers like the one he's got, and proceeds to tailgate the driver in front of him. Can you just "let it go?" Women can. And we're supposed to pretend like women are entitled to some sympathy because they have hormone problems? Give me a break.

[Laneco]

Okay - here's a story from a women that I hope amuses all of you AND gives you DANGER DANGER WARNING!!!

A couple of weeks ago, the kids and I were driving back from Arizona. I had done a bike race down there and then took the kids to the grand canyon. So anyway, I'm driving my husband's big giant crew cab 4x4 ford diesel. Total guy-truck but it gets a surprising 23 MPG on the highway even with two bicycles, three people and the camping gear. I'm getting pretty drowsy on the way home.

Pull into a truck stop and fuel up. Go inside and get a 4-shot latte - yeah BABY! At the checkout stand I notice a product called "Trucker's Uppers...." I read the label, mostly caffeine and some other weird stuff I hadn't heard of. But hey, its over the counter, right? How bad can it be?

Now here's the deal. I already had PMS - a real mean-assed dose of it. Within 45 minutes I had a full load of "truckers Uppers" and a quad shot of Latte.

And baby I wanted to fight. Pulled into a rest area to use the facilities and walk a little steam off. Some nasty piece of road trash uses the rest room and fails to wash her hands!!!! Then touches the door knob on the way out. GAAAAAHHHH

I used tissue to grasp the door knob and headed straight for the skank. She's sitting there sucking a cigarette. She see me coming - gives the "what are you looking at sneer". I'm still coming. I'm going to freaking STOMP her. She realizes it gets off the bench, snuffs her cigarette and hops in her car. Leaves in a flury of tire squeals because when her scrawny butt hits the car seat - I break into a FULL RUN!!!

So here I am, in a rest area in I-5 chasing some car on foot with full intent to drag the driver out and stomp her! Fortunately for her, that car was a little faster than I can run. But not by much.

I decided to take a walk and cool off a little before getting back in the truck...

So guys - PMS, Truckers Uppers and caffeine do NOT mix...
angela

[Tobra]

If you never have dealt with a woman going through in vitro fertilization, you don't know what PMS can really be like. IVF revs those ovaries up to about 10 times normal, with hormonal levels to match.