Remember Essex girls?

[Isabo]

Remember Essex girls?

Q. How do you make an Essex girl's eyes light up?
A. Flash a torch in her ear.

Q.What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A. A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

Q. What's the difference between an Essex girl and a Cray super computer?
A. You only need to punch information into a cray super computer once.


An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How
many children?"
Asks the council worker "10" replies the Essex girl
"10???" says the council worker. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"
Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing
in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAAYNE GO TO
BED NOW and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker.
"That's easy," says the girl... "I just use their surnames"

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her
boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that
there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"

Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash there's blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Girl: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?"
Girl: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

[Steve PH]

I had no idea that the habits of your average Essex girl were known internationally, I had assumed it was just a bit of an "in joke"!

[DavidI]

Where can I find one of these hottie "Essex" girls? They sound perfect, David

[Steve PH]

Originally posted by DavidI
Where can I find one of these hottie "Essex" girls? They sound perfect, David

He he, I think you will find that the answer to that is in your question!

[red-beard]

Geez, my mom is from Essex. No wonder I'm a slut.

[fastpat]

Originally posted by red-beard
Geez, my mom is from Essex. No wonder I'm a slut.

Some things really are genetic and transcend gender. It's in the literature.

[Paul K]

While we're on the subject of Essex, has anybody seen the movie 'Essex Boys' with Sean Bean? Scary stuff. There's a couple of 911 shots in it (964 IIRC). Based on the true story of the 'Rettendon' (Aka Range Rover) Murders.

Cheers,

Paul.

[BlueSkyJaunte]

We call them "blondes" over here on this side of the pond.

[The Gaijin]

Essex is like the worst of Long Island and New Jersey suburbs... The same dime store tough guys and the smoking, drinking and charming women they love.

[red-beard]

I guess thats why my 'mum' always said she was from Chelmsford...

[The Gaijin]

My "Mum" is from the East End. Too much of the family moved out to Harlow.. Most of them are doing pretty well, but a few have skated a bit close to the edge!

[kach22i]

Dang, now there is a Mott the Hoople song stuck in my head.

EDIT:
http://www.lyricsdir.com/mott-the-hoople-saturday-gigs-lyrics.html

'Cause Chelsea girls are the best in the world for company.

Oops, wrong city.

[berettafan]

Kinda funny but in Essex, Maryland things are the same!

Still, there is a blue collar vibe that, to me, feels like home. A welcoming place where guys can sit in chairs with beer and bull***** about something OTHER than golf and mutual funds.

[kach22i]

How many places in the world are named Essex ?

[charlesbahn]

This thread is useless without pictures!