I dunno about slo Dave...but back in the day I'd weather out dry spells with a copy of playboy and a roll of paper towels. :rolleyes:

:D :eek: :D :eek: Jeezo, I thought we were on a need to know basis here on OT.

ROTFLMAO !

Volunteering is a great idea, but be careful if you want to meet girls. If you do an environmentalist gig, you'll likely meet girls who want to talk politics. On the other hand, if you volunteer at a wildlife hospital or an animal rescue group you'll be surrounded by girls who are overwhelmed by your sensitivity. Girls love guys who are kind to animals. It's an absolute fact.

As well as kind to children.. ;)

yeah. listen to nirvana. worked for cobain...

Dave,

I am getting a bit concerned here. At first I read your post as a reaction to a real world situation. At that, your feelings are natural and your system will mend in good time.

Now I see several posters using the term depressed/depression. That is indeed a whole other ball game if that should be the case.

I am not going to play psychiatrist and start to put diagnostic questions to you - but if your state of mind displays a more profound and general feeling of darkness you may want to consult a professional.

Note, I am not implying this is the case, but several posters that actually speak English have used the term depressed and I thought I may be missing something in your story for lack of the language. Hence my concern.

Not to be negative but what do hospitable volunteers do? I'm one of those people that are a little phobic about hospitals and it sounds like it might be unpleasant.

There are several opps. You can be a glorified delivery boy. You can help with recreational activities for kids, and many hospitals have Craft Cart or similar. But I bet you'd look great in a candy striper outfit!

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1174168262.jpg

No doubt, I am depressed. I have also spent many years with a psychologist growing up do to mood swings/sugar imbalance - turned out at the time it was more of an ADHD issue that was misdiagnosed because people did not really understand what it was back then. Now it is ADD and I function better without medication for it. I have also taken Paxil a few years ago and while it did keep my spirits up, there were other side effects that made staying on the pills no fun and I stopped. I was on 80 mg. of the stuff, most people are on half of that.

I needed to talk with her again regarding something left over from work. That's when things went south again this week. Last week and the week before, we had no spoke or texted and I was actually cheering up.

I cannot run anymore do to previous knee injuries, but I did start roller blading again and go every day and blade for at least 5 miles. I also lift weights, but at home. I have all the equipment and can keep a fairly regular schedule at home. I also have been eating healthy. Today was the first time in over a month that I ordered a double cheese burger from the local burger joint with my flying buddies. As for volunteering, not a bad suggestion. I don't do well in hospitals. I have had my fare share of stitches, gapping wounds, severe burns...

My mom is into the environmental thing and I have as well for most of my life and know very well the types of "chicks" that I could meet. Maybe the wildlife thing though...

I don't think I would be as torn over this, if we both decided things were not going to work, but since I was blindsided by it, it's a different story. Adoption comes into play as well. I was rejected at birth, no post natal bonding for me. Studies show that this affects children and how they deal with rejection.

Dave

1. Nobody is a mind reader, so nobody really knows what U need. U have to take care of yourself cause no one is going to do it for you. There is an old saying that you can't take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. When U stand up for yourself many times someone will accuse U of being selfish, that person is trying to manipulate you for their own ends.

2. I am going to be countervailing here, I think U need a bit of time to grieve over the end/death of the relationship and, to take stock of the situation. I believe in the Natural Process of healing and not try and force something U do not have your heart in. Time will heal and give perspective, and everyones timetable is different.

3.Even as painfull as it maybe, I think it is best if U did stop talking to the GFs child, I would also be very clear and explain the situation to the child as to why your going to stop. I think they would call that closure, for U, but most importantly for the child. Children need every break they can get.

4. I don't know anything about your ADD or any meds you might be taking, so I am not going to comment. That is between U and your MD.

If you have read what I written before U know I am not a fan of the happy pills. I think it is much better in the long run if one never starts on the things in the first place. It is better to learn how to deal with the Roller Coast Coaster of your emotions and life than become addicted to the marvel of modern medicine. which in effect just adds another problem that you have to deal with to get well or be one with your self.

Caveats, disclaimers and disclosures: The following is simplistic advice. Although I am not a mental health professional, I've had to deal with painful breakups on a professional basis as a divorce attorney. Finally, I've been in your shoes personally.

The depression: You've been involved with MHP's enough to know whether this is situational or clinical depression. Take appropriate steps to get the help you need on the level you need. Recognize that other factors unrelated to the breakup may be affecting you (e.g., financial, professional, physiological, etc). Work on changing those things you have control over...let go of that you have no control over, specifically her unilateral breakup.

Although you say you weren't expecting it, own what you did "wrong" in the relationship. Just don't dwell on it beyond correcting it for future relationships. If you did nothing to jeopardize the relationship, then accept your failure to pick someone deserving of your affection. And move on.

Many men in particular who have been unilaterally dumped get angry and depressed over the fact of all they did for the other person that wasn't appreciated. If that's the case, my most important advice is BE SELFISH. DO STUFF JUST FOR YOU. REVEL IN THE FACT YOU HAVE TO TAKE NOBODY ELSE'S FEELINGS INTO ACCOUNT.

Finally...take some time before jumping into another committed relationship. A year at least. Get thru all the holidays and seasons and birthdays and anniversaries at least once on your own. It takes at least that long to get comfortable in your own skin . To find out who you are and what you want independent of who you are and what you want when involved with someone. This is not to say don't date or grudge fock or whatever yanks your chain. Just be selfish and refuse to commit so soon.

Good luck...a year from now you'll look back on this and it will seem roughly comparable to some girl you dated for 3 months in high school whose name you can't recall.;)

PS: If you drink, keep an eye on alcohol consumption...especially if you're on any psychotropics.

Ya know why? 'cause they ain't squeamish about body fluids...none of 'em.:D

I doubt I will talk to her again at this point. The last of the business issues I need to take care of done. I am not taking any medication and won't. BTDT and it is not for me.

Anyway, I have flown my r/c glider today, had lunch with a couple of the retired guys from that club, was at my parents and tightened up the barrel nuts on the intake manifold - will replace gaskets in the near future. I also decided to cut the top off the air box that I had previously drilled. I know there is not supposed to be much (if any) performance gain, but the car did seem to rev a bit faster and seemed to pull a little harder. Finally, I cut off the plastic e-brake handle and will install a leather boot instead.

Now it is off to the park for a quick 5 mile roller blade and then home for the night.

Dave

No problem. Anything discussed with me in private stays private.

Slo,
I don't mean to bring you down further but the truth is you will not get over her. The worst thing is, it will not be easy unless you do what I tell you. So...you have a choice. Continue to wallow or buck up. I don't think you will buck up so wallowing is cool enough.

Here is the plan - it works 100% of the time. Dominos is having a special on large pepperoni pizzas. $5/each. Go get your self a couple, and get your self a case of your favorite beer and a stack of classic movies with Boogie, Dean, Lancaster and McQueen and do a non stop movie fest. keep your cell phone handy as well as the laptop. You have to watch them in succession. Don't quit! You will need at least 10 movies, maybe 12.

Start a thread and keep us up to speed on the movies you watching and how your doing. Gives us your impression on the movies and pick out a few key lines. Complain, cry and whine about the tramps that have abused you and how they suck. After about 20 hours of this you will be ready for a good sleep. Hold off. Stay strong and keep going until you pass out.

When you wake up you will be over them. Trust me. Been there done that and it is the only thing that works 100%. But you have to follow it to the letter.

Have I ever steered you wrong before?

another question, what do you do about unrequited love?

Mike, I don't have a working T.V. :) A couple of people have offered me an old one, maybe I should take them up on the offer. That way I could watch DVD's. I refuse to get cable or dish right now. There is never anything on and therefore a $70.- a month waste. I would need more than a case of beer :D

good advice, man

think ill get a pizza right now

+1 on Tab's comment. Not a person here can offer reliable advice in this situation.

That said here's my take. Limit the booze and high calorie foods. Concentrate on stuff you like to do. Get your professional life in order. Take a 3-4 day vacaction with friends. Find peace with yourself b4 seeking female compainionship. This suggestion is manifested from 25 years of dealing with similar circumstances.

I changed my diet a month or so ago. I have been reading calorie charts non-stop as well. Going overboard really. No real junk food to speak of. My parents have a really fancy scale that tells you too much info and is a pain to program - I just wanted to weigh myself. The thing told me I have 10% body fat. I have to get on the scale again to double check, but if I do, maybe I should order the Domino's special. I dig Domino's!

Jeezus Chisto man! No working tube! No wonder your all down and shyt.

OK, maybe a few cases of beer then. The pizza and beer work - your mind/body is stressed and when you are stressed the mind/body needs fat and alchohol - you will also need good ol fashion guy art. It feeds the hole in your soul. Boogie and Dean fit the bill. Some say that the Duke will do it as well but that just makes me want to go shoot something so that might not be the best thing at this point.

Get freakin tube Dude!

My 2¢:

You are being strung along. You are being kept at arm's length (or further) as a backup...in case something else she has doesn't work out. You will never move beyond "backup" status again. In ladder theory lingo, you have jumped to the lower ladder.

I had a friend in college whom his ex strung him along for two years. He couldn't get over the relationship (which may well have taken those two years for him) because it still wasn't over.

Stop all contact immediately. Don't give explanations, just stop. Spend your time making yourself the man you want to be.

OK Slo, its time to get real here. Put the freakin scale away - save it when you have a son and use it for a Pinewood derby car!

It is time be be a guy. Guys don't give a shyt about any of that stuff. Guys are all about simplicity and quick satisfaction. Focus on the body fat stuff when your in-line. Right now we need to grow a set back and here is how to do it...get a tube, a few Za's, some cases and a stack of vids. Do it alone but keep your bros abreast (he he, he said breast...) of whats happening.

Now that is growing a set! 10^100

My T.V. died last August/September, while working on the 911. Was not a good time for it to fail. It was a nice 32" Sony Trinitron. I'm still paying off the Porsche CC damage. I was planning to upgrade in the near future to a flat panel, but was hoping the Sony was going to last a couple more years. I really can't afford to buy the flat panel right now.

Regarding the weight, I have not weighed myself in years and decided to jump on my parents. I just wanted to see how much I weighed. I had to feed it my age, height, etc... in order to be able to stand on it. As for the calories, I really needed to change. I was on a diet of Taco Bell, McDonald's, Jack in the box, etc. and have been for a couple of years. I really feel better these days now that I don't eat that. Excuses aside, health is important.

Well, one of my fish is getting lucky tonight :rolleyes:

Ahhh Dave, gimme a break here! I'm the product of a Bay area whore and a Marine who didn't make it back from the South Pacific. I was born November of '43. Not one effing thing unique about my story...or yours! The people who adopted and raised me were a whole lot better than I deserved.

You're just looking for "poor me" psychobabble excuses. Suck it up, buy a porn mag and a roll of paper towels. This dry spell will end.

NEVER lose your head over a little piece of tail...dig? I'm done with this one...oh yeah, I am. :mad:

Slo,
Set your sights a bit lower - Flat Screen, Plasma...tubes for playas. One word bro...Wal-Mart. You can get a great 32" for under $200. Crack that plastic plate that has been sleep'n in your billfold and break that cherry on a Memorex or ESA at Wally World.

Go Slo Go!

Yep.

Just get an inexpensive CRT.

Save your money for an HDTV for the future.

Get a TV, and a pet.
After 19 years of marriage she said good bye. I was depressed.....I found new friends who treat me like family. I have never been happier. My 'family' loves me more than my ex-wife did. But it is better now. Hang in there, stop contact and get some friends. I have more female friends than male. I go out to dinner and movies with any of them on occation.
I hope things get better for you. Time and friends are your best bet. Good luck.

elwood-914: I have two English Parakeets, one veiled chameleon (has a nice eye infection, not fun), four African cichlid fish and one tiger strip algae eater. I live in a rental town home and am already pushing the limit, as this place says "No pets allowed". The managers have been really cool. Cats and dogs are out of the question.

Dave

thread is useless without pics...:D http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1174198756.jpg

OK skip the pet thing but loose the contact.




















:( :( :(

Dude, I could quote some rap here, but I don't like big butts! :cool:

You know...Ive been reading through this thread and all of the
great and helpful responses...and it occurs to me that the answer
simply lies within you sloDave:

Do you want to take steps to improve your life? Do you wish
to put yourself into a position where you will never feel this
****ty again? Do you wish to take control of your thoughts and
emotions? Do you wish to not be in a position of regret but rather
be in a position of strength, fun and happiness?

If the answer is YES (which I hope it is), then take the good
advice given here, condense it to what works for you and put it
to use ASAP!

If the answer is NO, and you are just here looking for sympathy...
well, perhaps therapy is the next step.

* People are Victims of their OWN Bullshi-.

Whether they realize this...choose to own up to it or not, such is
True.

So sak up and move forward...even if you fall...fall forward...

But definitely take chances to CHANGE...because what brought
you this point HAS NOT WORKED....and you need to change your
position in life, your mental disposition and how you view yourself
and the world around it.

Ive been there dude...however since 1995, Ive pretty much been out of
that rut.... what got me out?

TM techniques, and studying various theraputic mental philosophies.... start by reading "Phychocybernetics" by Maxwell
Martz...and then go through the Tony Robbins tapes, Zig Ziegler..
Wayne Dyer, "The Secret" etc... its all good and all based on the same principal:

WE HAVE TO SEE IT and BELIEVE it CAN HAPPEN...before it actually
CAN happen...

Get it?

You seem like a Great guy...but the Pity Party has to end now.
Find the way / Method to take control of your mind and shape
your mind to control your future destiny.

Break this Freaking never ending Cycle of BS crap that continuously manifests itself in your life.

You need to manifest your future destiny and the only way to do
this is to condition your mind to visual what you want, clearly and
definitely, create the plan of action to get you there and have the
discipline and will power to make it happen.

You will not fail if you do this. You are almost certain to get part of
your dream... which is much better than no dream at all.

Do it.

Good luck and God bless.

For Slo

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1174201766.jpg