Maintaining friendships is hard work

[cantdrv55]

I've always had acquaintances, not so many friends. Family and work (it's almost the other way around for me) takes priority. I realize I need balance in my life so now I am working hard at maintaining and developing friendships. I'm sure it's worth it but, man, it sure takes a lot of time.

How are you juggling your life's priorities?

[StevoRocket]

2 cups of coffee...



When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the 2 cups of coffee.



A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.



The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly, and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full; they agreed it was.



The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous yes.



The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.



Now, said the professor, as the laughter subsided, I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things: your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.



The pebbles are the other things that matter--like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else: the small stuff.



If you put the sand into the jar first, he continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.



The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Keep contact with friends. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner/parents out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the waste disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just filler.



One of the students raised his hand and inquired what the coffee represented.



The professor smiled. I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

[scottmandue]

Can I use beer instead of coffee?

[cantdrv55]

Nice story. Thanks!

[StevoRocket]

My father wrote a poem - called "True friendship - no more, no less."

I dont know when or why he wrote it - but I understand it now.

[pwd72s]

Yes, friendships are work...but worth the effort. I have a friend who has been a "buddy" since grade school. We don't see each other often, but when we do, it's like we were never really apart...conversation just starts up again where we left off.

He's now a retired airline pilot, he and his wife on a final leg of an ocean liner "world cruise". Every week or so, his wife would sent a list of friends an email about their latest port of call. Another friend of theirs has printed out all these emails, placing them in a folder to be given when they return to their Reno home. This guy asked me to write a "welcome home" message to be placed in the folder. Here it is:

"Dear Jim & Bev,
We think we cleaned up your place well enough that you won't mind that we enjoyed our Reno vacation while you were on the cruise! Thanks! Also, it was great of you to leave the credit card behind. We really enjoyed the floor shows! Love ya, and welcome home! Paul & Cindy"

I don't think that message would have been received well by a "casual acquaintance"...

[Jims5543]

True friends are friends that require no work at all. Friends that you can loose touch with as time goes then hook back up and pick up where you left off.

That said there are only have 2 couple my wife and I are friends with that fall into that category.

As time has passed, I have been burned by so called friends, over and over and over, I am at the point where my wife and 2 children are all that maters to me. My private oasis away from the world is at home. Sure, my son has friends over and my wife meets friends at the park to the little one can play but as far as outright socializing? Nah, gonna pass, a nice evening at home with the wife and kids is great for me. Or a babysitter and dinner and movie with the wife.

Working to find other true friends isn't how I see it. You find true friends by accident you cannot search for them. It should be a natural thing not something you work for.

[on2wheels52]

I guess a plus to having my own shop is making friends there and then having them stopping in every day. At times I may wish they would leave so I could finish some task I had planned to do but realize whatever it was can wait. They are all trained not to interfere with my dealing with customers.
They make up for the lack of a company health plan.
Jim

[juanbenae]

i am hard to like as some may have found in my 5+ years here on PP. thing is even when people meet me in person i still am kind of an acquired taste. i am what & who i am, love me or leave me.

once people get to really know me a bit they warm up and become butter in my hands. the rest can pound sand.

it should not be work. now keeping a woman content, thats some work.

you chris are too dam likable to have to worry, an asian teddy bear of sorts.

by the way, can someone in sac let chris keep his car at their house while he flys and returns next week to attand the spring wing ding..

T$

[cbeers]

You aren't even good to your current friends what makes you think you need/want more ????



-Chris

[craigster59]

Can I borrow 20 bucks...?

[nostatic]

ask Toby. I hear you're butter or something...

[bob tilton]

StevoRocket - thanks for sharing that story!

[StevoRocket]

My pleasure - so true too.

[berettafan]

i have a friend that i hunt with and see quite a bit during duck season. don't see him so much outside of it (we are both busy) but when dove season starts getting close we pick right back up...someone already mentioned this and i agree, it is a wonderful thing.

i also have a buddy that i meet for lunch every other week or so. we don't hang out at each others house or anything but it's good to take a break once in a while and talk life (kids, taxes, whatever) with someone other than my coworkers.

i enjoy casual relationships where there is no expectation of 'hanging out' or joint vacations or stuff like that. just grabbing lunch or helping with a project or comparing notes on child rearing over a couple of tacos is good enough for me.

[tabs]

Friendships develope over time. Shared circumstances creat bonds.

Now for me I don't have friends I have associates.