To those that feel like the have kill themselves financially to save for college...

[89911]

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SavingForCollege/6ReasonsNotToSaveForKids.aspx

I financed 100% (with a little help from my parents) for 8 years of schooling. The biggest part of this that I think deserves merit is this:

Students should invest in their own education
Every year a number of freshmen trek off to college on their parents' hard-saved money, only to spend more time the first few semesters partying than studying. Would they crack the books more if they were paying the bill? Even the most responsible kids seem to do better in college when they help pay for it.

Helping your kids through college is wonderful and demonstrates that you value their education. Give enough to help, however, not enough to lessen their investment in the outcome.

[David]

I agree.

My mom paid for me to go to UT. I started engineering, partied to business, and then partied some more until I barely graduated with a BA in Economics. A couple years later, I got my head on straight and went to UH for engineering. When I asked for money from mom, she said, "I paid for you to go school, now it's your turn."

I paid for my engineering degree by working and with a couple of loans. I'm sure it was a combination of being older and paying my own way, but I did much better the second time around.

My plan is to pay for my son's education as long as his grades are stellar. As his grades drop, his funding will drop even faster.

[tonypeoni]

I'm gonna get lambasted for this but I think parents should pay as much as possible. Kids today not only face huge college loans/unstable job market couple that with sky high housing costs and college debt is just one more financial burden they don't need.

[89911]

Originally posted by tonypeoni
I'm gonna get lambasted for this but I think parents should pay as much as possible. Kids today not only face huge college loans/unstable job market couple that with sky high housing costs and college debt is just one more financial burden they don't need.

Wayne talked about this a few months past. I agree, I'm saving for my 4 kids....but.....this has to do with how the child/teenager/adult deals with responsibility and maturity. My oldest daughter is smart as she wants to be, but all the distractions of high school (dating, sports, friendships) have been taking there tolls on her grades. It seems my only recourse is to tell her that at this rate her plans of going south and heading to a good school and quickly being replaced by her biking to the local community college. Some kids just don't deserve the amount it takes to spend for schooling. My son is younger but the complete opposite. I would see no problem sending him to an Ivy league school. If you have the bucks, spend how ever you want. I can't see, however, sacrificing the normal things in life (vacations, living in the home you need) all in what "might" be needed in the future.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I disagree. Parents suffer enough to get kids to age 18. What they do with their own lives after they reach that milestone should be done completely and solely on their own merits. If I ever do have kids, they'll be figuring out a way to fund their own education. It's ultimately their responsibility to take charge of their own destiny - not mine.

[tonypeoni]

Originally posted by Porsche-O-Phile
I disagree. Parents suffer enough to get kids to age 18. What they do with their own lives after they reach that milestone should be done completely and solely on their own merits. If I ever do have kids, they'll be figuring out a way to fund their own education. It's ultimately their responsibility to take charge of their own destiny - not mine.

I understand where your coming from but to a certain extent you loose the ability to voice your opinion about the direction they take their lives. Have you ever heard of a 529 plan? I think these same parents who refused to invest in their kids education should not be surprised when in they enter the twilight years of life that their kids may send them off to the old folks home. Why should they spent the money on you for at home care when you refused to help pay for them to have a education all in the name of a few more sq feet or more vacations?

[89911]

Originally posted by Porsche-O-Phile
I disagree. Parents suffer enough to get kids to age 18. What they do with their own lives after they reach that milestone should be done completely and solely on their own merits. If I ever do have kids, they'll be figuring out a way to fund their own education. It's ultimately their responsibility to take charge of their own destiny - not mine.

I think if you do ever have kids, your thinking will change. The first part is the "suffering". Trust me, the amount of joy they bring far outweighs any negatives.

[tonypeoni]

How do you all view paying 10k for your daughters wedding? Do you feel obligated to pay anything?

[Seahawk]

Originally posted by Porsche-O-Phile
I disagree. Parents suffer enough to get kids to age 18. What they do with their own lives after they reach that milestone should be done completely and solely on their own merits. If I ever do have kids, they'll be figuring out a way to fund their own education. It's ultimately their responsibility to take charge of their own destiny - not mine.

I haven't suffered a bit, not in the least.

How they go to college is their responsibility, we'll make the deal when the time comes.

But I have saved the money...they can elect to take advantage or not. Since we talk all the time, I'm thinking it will all work.

Or it won't. I'm ready for both.

[89911]

Originally posted by tonypeoni
I understand where your coming from but to a certain extent you loose the ability to voice your opinion about the direction they take their lives. Have you ever heard of a 529 plan? I think these same parents who refused to invest in their kids education should not be surprised when in they enter the twilight years of life that their kids may send them off to the old folks home. Why should they spent the money on you for at home care when you refused to help pay for them to have a education all in the name of a few more sq feet or more vacations?

I can't say I agree with this, or your not raising your kids with the proper perspective. Do you really think your kids would keep a lifetime of contempt a secret, simply waiting for their parents to become old and then get even. Lets see, my parent didn't pay for any of my college education and they are both about 80 years old. Time for some payback!

[tonypeoni]

Originally posted by 89911
I can't say I agree with this, or your not raising your kids with the proper perspective. Do you really think your kids would keep a lifetime of contempt a secret, simply waiting for their parents to become old and then get even. Lets see, my parent didn't pay for any of my college education and they are both about 80 years old. Time for some payback!

They simply wont be able to because their still paying a college loan!

BTW I don't have any kids. I grew up upper middle class and most of my friends were of wealth. Todate all of these kids are doing well. Mainly because when they F___ed up daddy was there to fix things. ALL of my friend that came from lesser backgrounds are a mess jail, foreclosures ect. What Im trying to say is that it takes allot of money to raise kids right. Its just something that cant be done on the cheap.

[Moneyguy1]

Paying for daughter's weeding.....Depends. Has the daughter been living on her own for a number of years prior to the weeding? Has she been co-habitating with her groom and both gainfully employed? If 'yes' to the above, a gift to the couple to help defray som part of the expense would be nice, but is still optional.

As for paying the full shot for college tuition....Never. I helped both of my daughters by paying medical, car insurance and the same amount of $$$ that I had spent each year to send them to private high school. Both of them graduated, and have since thanked me for allowing them to invest in their own futures.

[gprsh924]

My parents are currently paying for my tuition, room and board, and books. All other expenses are covered by me. I am also getting $7,000 in academic scholarships. If I loose any of that money, it will start coming out of my pocket and if I f*ck up too badly in any area of my life, my dad is going to stop sending those checks immediately. While I am not paying it out of my pocket today, I know what is at stake.

From my parents' perspective, they can afford to send me to college without any negative financial issues. They also know how expensive it is going to be for me in a mere 3.5 years when I am out on my own and I need to pay for a car, a house, etc. They would rather let me keep saving money know so that my life is a little easier in a few years, rather than having me spending every cent I have right now. I am really grateful for that

[dmcummins]

Mine were only eligible for around $3000 in unsubsidized loans. College cost ran about $20,000 each, per year. Until they are 24 or married my income was what determined how much they were able to borrow. They borrowed the $3000 and worked durring the summers for their spending money, I paid the rest as long as their grades were OK.

They had scholarships that paid for the first two years so they only had to borrow around $6,000 each, I paid the rest. I really didn't want them saddled with huge student loans after they graduated. So it cost me about $34,000 a year while they were at school. But they were not exactly cheap when they were living at home either. I wanted to make sure they have the ability to support themselve's and not be wanting to move back home.

[Zef]

Originally posted by tonypeoni
I'm gonna get lambasted for this but I think parents should pay as much as possible. Kids today not only face huge college loans/unstable job market couple that with sky high housing costs and college debt is just one more financial burden they don't need.

I agree on that...I save for my two daughter...They will not have to worry about $ when they will studying...My parents done the same for me...I will do the same for my kids...!

[Noah930]

Another topic where we try to make personal policies to cover all situations, but where so much of life is variable. Every kid is different. Different scholastic abilities, values, personalities, levels of maturity, aspirations, etc. And each family/set of parents will have different financial situations, lifestyles, expectations, etc.

But if you have the means, why not help your kid? In 18 years, a private 4-year college is supposed to cost over $300K. Why stick your kid with that kind of potential debt before they've even gotten a job? We jealously hate how the "rich kids" have got all the unfair advantages in life. Heck, why not join them? Or at least help your kids join them. Paying your kids' way through college doesn't mean they'll pi$$ it away to partying. Teach them proper values beforehand, and it might mitigate the situation.

I'm not suggesting that kids should have nothing invested in covering the costs of their educations. But I am suggesting that a blanket policy of not paying for anything to help your kids after age 18 (or whatever) is a bit silly. See what the kid is like. See what your finances are. You want your kids to be successful, right?

[lendaddy]

If I had the money and they were serious about their education I would certainly help them. Only the latter is likely.

[JeffO]

At 35 years old I chose to fund my 401K. i figured to pay the college costs with money at the time. I made my kids pay for there own books from summer jobs. They then felt the impact of costs. In the end oldest daughter has a masters and 28k in loans and the other daughter has a batchlers with 12k in loans. Both are from state schools that are well respected. The problems from the college years are fermented in the very early years. You reap what you sow.

[Flatbutt1]

I worked nights,weekends and holidays to finance my education and living expenses. It literally made me ill enough to require medical . I most definitely did not want my kids to go through that hell. No way. I was happy to provide an education for them. And in return they worked to pay for their own cars (wrecks that they were) and spending money.

Both are now gainfully employed, debt free and refuse to accept any financial help from me. My 23 year old daughter bought her own house last summer, no money from Dad or Mom.

[the]

My parents never wanted me to have a menial job during high school, they felt it was a waste of time, and I agree. They felt the time was better spent studying, or doing the things kids do. Being bosses around by some bozo at a fast food restaurant - I'm not sure what that accomplishes or teaches.

They also paid for every penny of college and grad school, everything, car, housing, etc. There was always money in the ATM for me, I never had to worry. They never wanted me to have a job during college (during school, I did have summer jobs, of course), they felt that is just a disadvantage to me in a competitive environment. Again, I agree.

I was very grateful for that, and would NEVER have let them down. Yes, there was some partying, but never at the expense of academic and other achievement. Once I was in college, they never asked to see a "report card," they knew that would be silly and that I was my own worst critic and hardest driving taskmaster.

Any kid who parties it up and doesn't try their hardest when their parents are footing their college bills was (sorry to say this) just not raised right. That kind of attitude is unfathomable to me.