With All This Death Talk, What Sort of Funeral Do You Want? - Page 2

notfarnow · 05-08-2007, 08:33 AM

When I go, I want there to be an open bar ceremony outside somewhere. Later in the evening after a nice dinner, have an animated debate between those arguing my good qualities, and those arguing my flaws.

When my great uncle passed, he had a very standard funeral. In the ceremony, they talked about what a generous kind, gentle person he was.

Bull$hit! He was a surly, gristly SOB. He had more bullets IN HIM than most people ever shoot. In WW2, he killed 2 people with his bare hands. In the Congo in the late 60's, he was captured and then rescued. After he recovered, he tracked down and shot one of his captors.

And he was cheap! When he was 82, he spent 2 weeks straight with a sledge bashing way at a rock the size of a VW, because the local dozer wanted $200 to pull it. He was a millionaire, but he wasn't going to waste his money like THAT. He wouldn't let anyone else pay either, so we had to help him do it.

THOSE are the kinds of stories that should've been told, not some BS copy & paste crap from Hallmark.

oldE · 05-08-2007, 09:21 AM

Donate to Dalhousie medical school. (Somebody should get some use out of it.) Cremate the leftovers.
The party should include some guitars, good harmonies, and a single malt.

Les

Joeaksa · 05-08-2007, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nostril Cheese
viking style with naked virgins

That sounds fun! May have to stay alive for this one!

Have my will set up to cremate me and scatter my ashes in the mountains in Arizona where I spent some of my happiest times.

Put a proviso in the will that my friends are to then take $10000 and have a very nice party (with naked virgins if available) and get stinking drunk, then be driven home in limo's to keep them out of jail. I will not need the money by that time so might as well enjoy it!

Burnin' oil · 05-08-2007, 10:03 AM

Body to science (gotta get a tattoo that says "That's not funny!") and a rockin' party. My brother-in-law has strict instructions to not allow any flowery eulogizing but to tell it like it is: "He wasn't the biggest loser in the world but it was close."

Mike Andrew · 05-08-2007, 10:17 AM

Cremated, no memorial, no service since, as an atheist, this would be the height of hypocrisy. Friends & brother take ashes to one or more of my favorite wilderness spots, have a couple of cocktails and toss me to the wind remembering some times that we shared there.
A few friends come to my house a week later, drink my liquor cabinet dry, including my single malts, and my wife tosses them all out the moment the cabinet is empty.

I would prefer Indian style on a platform with the birds recycling me but that seems to have legal issues.

livi · 05-08-2007, 10:39 AM

Embalmed.

svandamme · svandamme's Garage

stuff me a crate full of TNT,give me my last ciggie and a time-triggerd Zippo lighter.... fire for effect!

craigster59 · craigster59's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by svandamme
stuff me a crate full of TNT,give me my last ciggie and a time-triggerd Zippo lighter.... fire for effect!

What? No acid or mescaline??

tabs · 05-08-2007, 11:05 AM

I don't need to tell any of U, since your all gona die before me....

svandamme · svandamme's Garage

Quote:

Originally posted by craigster59
What? No acid or mescaline??

that's for my death bed, wouldn't do me any good when dead now would it...the TNT is just a final statement for those left to remember me, "what a blast"