My Best Friend is Having a Bad Time of it.
 

We go back a long time - He and I worked at GE together years ago when he first got out of the Army - retired Capt., Jumpmaster . CIB with 5 tours and was a Prof at Dartmouth before the liberals drove him crazy. Truly a guys guy. He quite the bottle a few years ago - found AA. Divorced but remarried this year to a women who looks like Penelope Cruz - fantastic looking Costa Rican women and a real sweet heart as well. His work is going incredible and he is getting zero hassle from his ex-wife. He just bought another house which he will rent out to cover the note plus bank a few hundred after taxes each month.

By all accounts he has a fine life. But he has hit a massive low and can't figuer out why. He just feels down then he gets pissed thats he is down. He led troops in Iraq and Somolia. He has shared with me some incredible stories and met some of his men that told me of some serious heorics and leadership he has shown in life/death situations.

We talked today and I told him he can call me anytime he wants but he said "Why, just so I can complain? ***** shouldn't suck but it just does...." So I told him to try pop'n some of my lil helpa's. He agreed.

He decided to see his doc after our talk - he got a script for 10mg of Lexapro. Not sure what else to do other than be there for him.

life's getting boring

Chris,
I think you are right.

Every time that happens to me I buy another motorcycle.

I have 22 of them at this point.

Life is supposed to suck sometimes. We deal with it so we become stronger and can appreciate the good times. Without sadness we cannot have joy.

Taking a pill is not a solution. It is a problem.

Tell him he's not complaining to you, sometimes everyone need to vent a little... and venting to smart friends (like you, or a good professional councilor) can often lead to ideas and solutions you may not come to on your own.

+1

As long as you're willing to listen (and not look at these occasional phone calls as a burden), and he's comfortable in confiding to you, isn't that what friends are for? Lot cheaper than a counselor (even if your buddy goes out and buys a bunch of motorcycles ).;)

Sounds to me like he feels all of life has now passed him by, he has nothing exciting to look forward to at this stage. Combat veteran, jumpmaster, professor, he needs to find a real challenge, physical or mental and jump into it in a big way. Doesn't have to be a career but something that makes him feel focused and alive.

It's called mid-life crisis. Harder for some than others.

All good stuff here.

Hang in there with him Mike, he needs you.

Sounds like he needs a Porsche and a Pelican addiction!!!

Be a good friend, it DOES make a difference. Let him know you care. We all go through these times.

Without getting too long-winded, I'll just say that depression in a MFer and I know it well. The most frustrating, (and potentially dangerous), thing about it is the *can't see the forest for the trees* aspect; ie. it is like having horse blinders on and all you can see is negative crap. I will PM you my phone# in case he would talk to me.

I'm trying to not be negative as much, but tell that to someone that has ADD or a serious problem of a similar nature.

It has been shown that some of the stuff people exposed their unborn and infants to, have wreacked havoc on the children's' health, both metal and physical.

For instance, when I was real young the "exterminator" would come regularly and spray our closets with a fog of DDT. Nice, huh. Both my parents smoked in the house and I had asthma. Never had asthma again once I left home. No telling what else I've been exposed to in 61 years, but if I live to be 70 in a relatively healthy manner, I'll say I beat some big odds.

Depression is serious business and a pill or twenty won't be the end of the world for this chap. Without some professional help (read, Denis), he might be at the end of his world.

As Milt said, depression is serious business. I recently had a friend of mine commit suicide due to depression. No one saw it comming or suspected as he had a loving family and had a good law practice. He emailed several of us about feeling like he hadn't measured up.

He was 49.

Re: My Best Friend is Having a Bad Time of it.
 

Sounds like he may be a closet homo.

I'm not sure we need to hurry to the word depression... only he knows where he is on that level.

As lubby describes it sounds like he has lived a very busy, exciting, life... like someone else said maybe he is just bored or having a mid life crisis or both.

I have been "put a gun in your mouth" depressed but it passed and rarely visits me (thank God). As I understand it some people are medically chronically depressed as in 356 days a year and need professional help but it sounds like Mikes friend has been relatively happy up to this point.

Medication should be a LAST resort. All to often those prescribing don't take the time to understand what said individual has been through or where they've come from. Best thing you can do is be an ear and keep your mouth shut, beyond that offer support or finding real help that assists those with his background and exposures (military).

He needs to challenge himself. Working ou, a target weight, a target waist size are all good as the working out will release endorphins that will help make him a happier person.

I have bouts with depression and want to self medicate with alcohol but choose to set goals in the gym for myself instead.

Maybe pills work (easy way out in my honest opinion) or maybe a good exercise regiman will be better.

It worked for me 100% drug free and happy again due to exercise. Thank my wife for stepping in and whipping me into shape.

What he needs is a professional opinion.

Re: My Best Friend is Having a Bad Time of it.
 

The fact that you put that all in one paragraph, indicates that you see some relationship between his "low" and military experiences.

Sounds like post traumatic stress.

I'd suggest some help from professionals, not the MDs first -- as already noted in this thread, drug therapy should be the last resort.

Re: Re: My Best Friend is Having a Bad Time of it.
 

That is the opposite of how I read that. The guy has some serious coping skilz, from the sound of it. (his military experience)