I have spent the better part of an hour trying to find a post by John Walker on reversing the windshield wipers. I think it was at least one or two years ago. John was giving advice to pay attention so as not ending up wiping the front hood. I remember laughing so hard. John has a talent for stating the facts with an undertone of dry humor that is very much to my taste.

Alas can´t find it.


(spell check kaput)

I have to agree with that. John has a way of posting really helful info with a dry wit that just knocks you down. I have laughed out loud at some of his wry comments in 911 technical & engine rebuilding section.

The year is coming to an end soon, and I've seen a lot of great quotes that you guys should be submitting for the committee to consider.

I'll offer this up as well- there will be a PRIZE to the winner. A real prize. I swear.

I had a gem not too long ago, but it seems to have disappeared into the aether. Someone was talking about stirring up a legal pot or something (might have been that class-action suit against x3m, who was paid for supercharger systems and never delivered) and my reply was "let the record show that (so-and-so) wants to legalize pot."

I think the thread-in-question ended up being deleted/locked :(

That's the task for everyone basically, finding the quotes and posting them here... the committee cannot be expected to do any legwork. Think of me like the federal government!

But the thread is locked! It was in the 944 forum... surely someone can come to my rescue?!?

So we're going to have to pay tax on the PRIZE?

Typical.

JP

I'm trying to find a good one from Charles Kieffner

Is that the guy that doesn't have a cap button on his keyboard?

My choice...although I never took him up on the offer.

Man, I forgot about this thread, and just had a great laugh re-reading the nominations!

The cratch-slapping poem is classic, stuff of legends. But for a real punch-line-type belly laugh, Jake's handjob post takes it, as far as I'm concerned!

Please keep submitting them- the prize is going to be cool- don't miss out! As always, the official nominations are on the first post.

I found the post defining "fluffer" in response to Livi's (innocent) post mentioning wanting a job being one to be both educational and entertaining. Nominated.

Jake,

Just found this and glad to help! Worked with me an might as well pass it along!

BTW, a beer will do fine, no need for the other although I appreciate the thought! Had a lady friend take care of that situation last night... :)

~~~~~~~~~

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living, the world owes
you nothing; it was here first
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research
- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing
- Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

Imagination is more important than knowledge

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing
is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

The mistakes are all waiting to be made
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the
games opening position

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because
you might not get there
- Yogi Berra

It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN
do your best
- W. Edwards Deming

All my life I've wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been
more specific.
- Jane Wagner / Lily Tomlin (1939-)

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)

Do, or do not. There is no try
- Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back)

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Everyday I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest
people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
- Sun Tzu

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
- Alan Kay

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

There is no free lunch.
- Milton Friedman

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.
- Horace Walpole

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much
- Walter Lippmann (1889-1974)

Men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have
to say something
- Plato (429-347BC)

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other
- Eric Hoffer (1902-1983)

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person
who argues with him
- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec ( 1909-)

If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how
incapable must Man be of learning from experience?
- George Bernard Shaw

If two men on a job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they
disagree all the time, then both are useless
- Darryl F. Zanuck

If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

The nicest thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people
- Lucille S. Harper

Criticism is prejudice made plausible

The cynics are right nine times out of ten
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist
sees the opportunity in every difficulty
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

Love is what happens to a man and a woman who don't know each other

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation
of the species
- W. Somerset Maugham

This one made me burst out laughing........

I also think Legions post from Lendaddy deserves to qualify!!
That was funny!

Cheers

Does anyone want a free gererator?
 

From Rino757

Submitted and approved by committee:

The 'gererator' quote, while hilarious and certainly of high enough caliber, falls outside of the allowable date range.

Remember, the date has to end in 2007. Meaning xx/xx/2007.

Only a couple more weeks to go people- scavange for your favorites, and have your eyes open for other winners. I caught one today.

You have to submit them for them to be considered.

Just go to the post you like. Click quote. Highlight the quoted reply text. Copy it. Come back here. Hit reply- paste your copied text. Say "here you go, dear committee".

He's listed as a screen name of "The Howard Agency", he sadly passed away just a bit ago....OT poster and 914,2.0; 914,v8 and 996 pilot.

I like this one posted by 125shifter in the "boycott thread"

Quote: "I boycott them too, but only because their beer tastes like crap . Believe me, when I boycott a beer company, it shows up in their quarterly reports."