We figured after six months we would be able to talk about this, just upsets the both of us.
Just want it to be special for him and his brother.
This was not totally out of the blue, we knew what the risks were with the pregnancy, so we thought we were prepared.

You are never prepared for the loss of a child.

It's been 9 years for us.

We had her cremated and she sleeps in our room with us every night.

I never have to worry about her leaving home.

We lost a baby just after birth, and had her cremated as well. Then we put her ashes is a flowerpot planted at my fathers site. Part of me is really glad we did this, and part of me wishes she had a place of her own. She'd be 10 now, and it does get easier.

If you and your wife aren't in consoling yet get there ASAP. We made it a year before things fell apart, and another couple before we separated and eventually divorced. Not saying this was our only issue, but it didn't help. Maybe if we'd seen someone right away.

Thanks guys. We have been to counseling at the hospital while the other baby was in icn.
I am relieved to hear that it does get better, but it will always suck!

Picking out a marker for our son was very traumatic but we took the tact of getting it done immediately following the burial so that it would not be another decision hanging over us and we could concentrate what little emotional resources we had left on simply coping day to day. We chose a relatively traditional marker with an individualized eulogy and we keep the area around it freshly gardened. It has been almost 7 years and we have no regrets about our choice.
My condolences.

Deepest possible condolences, and thank you for entrusting us with this very sensitive information. You will find an unending supply of love and sympathy from us, even though we may not have met you in person.

We went through this in my immediate family 45 years ago, (my infant brother), it is something that I absolutely never bring up. Your story prompted me to share it with you, (and everyone here), life has definitely gone on but it's just one of those sad things that happens. God and the universe has a plan for everyone, I hope that plan includes a lot of happiness and good health for you and your family. Take care and God bless.

I can't even imagine. So hard to know what to say, other than I'm sorry for your loss.

It's nice that you're able to find people here that can relate & share... I hope you find some comfort in that. There are great folks here. Helps renew my faith in people.

Peppy, I hope you stick around

Take care

I got sick to my stomach just thinking about how hard it must have been. I hope you find the right tribute, prayers to you and your wife.

Wow...no words that I can offer that will help Peppy (and every else), but welcome and good luck to you and your family. I hope you find peace...

I think that when you choose a marker, and have it put in place, the first time you see it you will be happy with your choice. It will be a great relief to have a fitting memorial and have something meaningful there for you to see. Hopefully you and your wife can choose something wonderful soon, and it will be a good thing.

Thanks for all of the help and sentiment. I think we have narrowed our search down to two or three options.

It has taken so long, because the other son was in icn for 70 days, and the grave site is an hour away in my family plot in Va.

Thanks again.

stomach, joel.....man i had no idea. i just ache for you guys.

simply beyond my comprehension. peace be with you.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1198698686.jpg



Finally posing a picture of the finished marker.

Thanks for all the info, it was a great help.

My condolances.

Whatever you can save on the stone, make a donation to a children's hospital in the name of your child. Somewhere down the line, a young life might be saved.

I'm glad you had the strength to see this through.

As for me, my father's ashes are still in the living room in an urn. One of these days I'll find the right place to bury him.

Peppy

If you need to chat at all, I'd be glad to. Wife and I lost one of our micro-premie twin daughters about 2 years ago...she was 15mos old and spent most of that time in hospitals.

One of the roughest times in our/my life....been there...and so that you don't feel 'different'...it's really not supposed to get easier. It just changes.

feel free to pm....or if you happen to be a rennlist member and want to read about my ordeal you can go there and search 'J Berk'...

best to you and your family

Joe

When the sun shines down and warms your shoulders, take comfort in knowing it is your son saying "Dad, I love you."
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1137/...0c38b1530c.jpg

Beautiful pic. Hoots. Thanks for the kind words.

I took this pic. three months before the twins were born.http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1198952345.jpg