Watch 'Intervention' on A&E last night

[rammstein]

Good god- where do I begin? Anybody seen this show?

So this kid has a drug habit- a really bad one. We're not talking about sneaking a doobie. We're talking about melting down oxycontin and shooting it up. We're talking about going to friends' houses, who have little kids running around, and shooting up.

This kid's Mom knows he does this. Moans about not knowing what to do. She gives the kid money which she knows is for him to go score drugs. Stands there while he talks all kinds of smack to her and tries to placate him.

I've never been a parent, so I might be out of line on this one, but didn't she kind of screw this up WAAAAAAY back? In other words, you discover your kid is shooting up drugs, what do you do?

Swift, severe action clearly did not take place. I am trying to think what I would do if I had a son, and I found track marks on his arms or needles in his room. I think I would call the cops, show them the drugs in his possession and have them take him to jail. I'd let him stay there for as long as they would keep him. Then he'd have to go to rehab until the rehab people believed he had it together. I'd also have to agree with them. Then, if all of that turned out ok, then he'd be on to military school. If he failed at any point during this process, or was kicked out of any 'program' or anything else, the line is cut. Done. I'm sure it would be hard, but I'd have to say this and mean it, and he would have to know I meant it for it to work, becuase clearly any wavering whatsoever results in the drug winning. If he screwed up again, he'd be out. It doesn't strike me as 'tough love', just love.

Am I unrealistic about this? (I am serious, because I don't have kids and maybe its different once you have them)

[legion]

The psyche of a kid is such a fragile thing. You don't want to risk damaging it by having a negative reaction to their behavior. You should be supportive and diplomatic. Gently try to guide and influence them, but don't challenge them as that will backfire...

...

Okay, I had to get all of the BS out of the way because I know someone is going to say it. I don't know if I could be that restrained Mark. Unfortunately my reaction to such a discovery would probably land me in jail for child abuse. Then I'd call the cops and so on. The idea that any kid would dare attempt these things in my house would set me off. Of course, if it ever got to that point I'd have to seriously consider that I was too lenient on the kid earlier on...

[rammstein]

That's why I didn't mention beatings:

1) It would end up landing ME in jail

and

2) Its too fast, and once the kid is at that point a beating isn't going to do it. If I thought it would, I'd gladly take the jailtime if it meant straightening out my son. But its too quick. It needs to be more like what I wrote- something along the lines of a lifetime committment to sobriety and discipline, 1 shot, fail and die kind of thing.

[legion]

You are right, of course.

I think the willingness to give up when progress cannot be made is important. I've seen too many addict-types successfully twist the punishment/support into enablement.

[Burnin' oil]

Kids don't go from sweet innocence to shooting up overnight. Prevention is key. Once they're mainlining drano, the odds of recovery are small.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by rammstein

Good god- where do I begin? Anybody seen this show?

So this kid has a drug habit- a really bad one. We're not talking about sneaking a doobie. We're talking about melting down oxycontin and shooting it up. We're talking about going to friends' houses, who have little kids running around, and shooting up.

This kid's Mom knows he does this. Moans about not knowing what to do. She gives the kid money which she knows is for him to go score drugs. Stands there while he talks all kinds of smack to her and tries to placate him.

I've never been a parent, so I might be out of line on this one, but didn't she kind of screw this up WAAAAAAY back? In other words, you discover your kid is shooting up drugs, what do you do?

Swift, severe action clearly did not take place. I am trying to think what I would do if I had a son, and I found track marks on his arms or needles in his room. I think I would call the cops, show them the drugs in his possession and have them take him to jail. I'd let him stay there for as long as they would keep him. Then he'd have to go to rehab until the rehab people believed he had it together. I'd also have to agree with them. Then, if all of that turned out ok, then he'd be on to military school. If he failed at any point during this process, or was kicked out of any 'program' or anything else, the line is cut. Done. I'm sure it would be hard, but I'd have to say this and mean it, and he would have to know I meant it for it to work, becuase clearly any wavering whatsoever results in the drug winning. If he screwed up again, he'd be out. It doesn't strike me as 'tough love', just love.

Am I unrealistic about this? (I am serious, because I don't have kids and maybe its different once you have them)

Saw that as well, could not watch, too depressing.

Problem is once the habit gets to the point of being noticeable the addiction has already taken control.

As with any addiction you can not "beat it into submission". The addict has to have some interest in "getting well".

Simply denying them the substance will work but very rarely will it last beyond their ability to acquire the substance.

[rammstein]

It really was sad to watch.

I agree with addicts having to want to get well for anything to happen. Its just that if you give an ultimatum, they have to know you mean it, and clearly this kid had a mom who wasn't the type to give ultimatums. Its gonna be awfully tough for an enabled addict to want help.

The worst part is, this lady also had a daughter in the house. She is doing a HORRIBLE job as a mom by having the son in the house at all- her daughter still has a chance at normalcy if she'd kick out the drug addict son (and alcoholic step-dad).

Alcoholics disgust me the same as any other addict, for the record. My family (like most) has its share of alcoholics, and I hate them for it.

You should have heard the alcoholic dad last night when the intervention guy asked if he would stop drinking now that he saw how it was destroying his daughter and the dirtbag answers "That's a good question". Alcoholism is something I have been exposed to, and thats exactly the kind of a$$hat answer that an alcoholic gives. I mean, seriously- your daughter or beer? You have to think about that?!?!?!

Addiction sucks balls. People around addicts need to kick them to the curb, for the sake of those who they might drag down with them.

I was really surprised by how angry that show made me- it just showed how selfish people are when they get addicted to things.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by rammstein

You should have heard the alcoholic dad last night when the intervention guy asked if he would stop drinking now that he saw how it was destroying his daughter and the dirtbag answers "That's a good question". Alcoholism is something I have been exposed to, and thats exactly the kind of a$$hat answer that an alcoholic gives. I mean, seriously- your daughter or beer? You have to think about that?!?!?!

That's right when I stopped watching. Thought "Holy Crap, this ain't gonna work"

[legion]

One of my best friend's little sisters did a stint in rehab for heroin use. (Friend lives in Miami BTW right now--he got a DUI Superbowl weekend last year.)

She did do the gateway drug thing, moving from tobacco to alcohol to pot to LSD to opium to heroine. Dad takes the family out on a boat during a weekend break from rehab--with a cooler full of beer. Rehab people had a fit.

[juanbenae]

kids mom was a big part of the problem. when she offered $20 he states he needs $40 and she ponied up. i had friends growing up that had parents the same way and they are still worthless because of the way the parents bailed then out time & time again.

that kid needed a trip to the wood shed.

T$

[Palum6o]

I'm not sure if they covered it on that program, but insurance companies are not paying for more than the appropriate number of weeks for rehab which is really sad (2 weeks??). There were a couple of really good programs on HBO about a month ago on this topic. This sort of thing scares the hell out of me especially since I live in sort of a wealthy area where lots of kids have too much money.

[Seric]

Mom looks like an enabler and probably wasn't very involved with the kid early on, hence why she is willing to take his crap now. Oh yea, where is dad? Unless there is something inheritenly wrong with the son's psychi that drove him to this, not having a male role model and a mother who doesn't look like she gave a crap could easily end up this way. Just a quasi-educated guess from the present story.

[rammstein]

Also- as per the insurance paying 2 weeks bit, these particular people had the money. For sure.

Additionally, if I was the parent and did my ultimatum bit, I'd sell my car and ride a bike to work to pay for it. But once again, its a one shot deal.