Why can't you understand "No!" means "NO!"
 

I'm sick to death of people coming to my house, ringing my doorbell, and asking for handouts or membership to one or the other affiliation. I don't care what damned organization it is they represent - the homeless shelter, the NAACP, the Catholic church, the Free the Ferrets cause - I don't care. I want no more menacing souls sauntering up to spew a spiel that at day's end, I'm too exhausted to even comprehend. Tonight, a "brother" came by, dressed in USC regalia, saying he was trying to work his way up the ladder of reform or some-such stuff. I didn't even listen. I only said "No." Well, "no" meant nothing to this guy. He came back again with the same diatribe. I mean...COME ON! I get spam through email and snail mail, I get it on the phone during dinner. Now this crap, especially now because it's XMAS. Ah! Pray that no Watchtower folk show up here. I might be in a throat-cutting mood. :mad:

To rectify this, sure, I'd get a "No Solicitors" sign, but the solicitors would ignore it (for various reasons such as: 1) "I didn't see the sign;" 2) "I don't know how to read;" 3) I don't know how to read English."

I'd get a big dog with a big bark. However, big dogs with big barks usually have big teeth, and thus ensues the lawsuit when big dog is protecting angry little homeowner.

Maybe I should get a big twelve-gauge pump which I'd chamber only for the sound effects. Yet, again, I foresee all sorts of legal haranguing occurring because of this action on my part.

I don't know the remedy, just the cause, which is my disgust and anger with these people.

OK, I'm done. Thank you for your attention. SmileWavy

I'm digging a moat.

Its a "moat"...

you don't need real dogs; just the sound of rabid pit bulls blasting on your stereo when you open the door a few inches to tell the perp he has a five seconds to leave before you release the hounds. :D

The NRA sticker right above the "No Solicitors" sign has worked quite well for me.

Hmm stop and think about it b4 you go Total ballistic . If that's the your worse case scenario you have had a pretty good day ! Some people in some parts of the world have nothing to call home, now where to call home ..wish they had your problem............................

I always thought there would be a market for a doorbell that, when pressed, plays the sound of a pump-action shotgun being cycled, hounds barking/growling, and heavy footsteps approaching the door. You could put this on a CD and hide speakers outside- stereo effect- then film the uninvited 'guests' running for their lives.

Sound good?

Cheers,

Paul.

Answer the door buck naked. I suspect that'll cut down on a lot of your issues.

Just hope it doesn't end up like this.

http://my.break.com/content/view.aspx?ContentID=197284

I vote for the naked approach with a 12 gauge pump in one hand and a dog on your other side.

all i get out by me are the Watchtower folks.

Speedy:)

If you dig it twice is it re-mote?

I too have little patience for the door to door stuff. We can get on the "do not call list", where is the "do not knock" list?

If I saw them on the street, I would answer the door in just my underwear....

Cheers

DD74,

What part of L.A. are you in? I have been in the Conejo Valley since 1987 and I have had no more than 6 visitors. To the best of my recollection, 1 from "Hi, I sell candies for my school...."; 1 from "Hi, I sell meat..."; the last 4 are from "Seventh Day Adventist".

I have not been solicited for 'membership.'

As Wayne said, "Just say, 'I am sorry, I am busy.'" And sloooowwwwly shut the door.

Oh, please! :rolleyes:
To quote an old holiday pandering victim's standard: "I gave at the office."

Peter, a native of Australia (aborigine), saw his friend John (another aborigine) walking down the street smiling and laughing. He also noted that John was carrying a sheet of corrugated metal on his back. Peter said, "Hey John, wazz up? How come you are so happy?"

John said, "My divorce is final. And the beauty of it is that I get to keep our house." :):)

And people wonder why gated communities are the rage. I live in one with 25 homes and I've had two uninvited solicitors in 10 years.

We see the occasional JW but more often than not it's a Morman. We were lighting the first candles of Hanukkah last week in our dining room which is pretty much right next to our front door. Our front door is mostly window so you can see right into our dining room if you're standing at it. It was plain that we were quite busy but the a$$hat still rang the doorbell to talk to us about....the environment. My wife closed the door in his face without saying anything. Had it been me...

Well...it was at least one of the most disrespectful things I have had happen to me.

Just answer the door.

Don't say a word.
Stand there.
Stand there some more.
Don't answer a question.
Don't make a sound.
Stand.
Wait.
Quiet.
Maybe a blank stare.
Dead quiet. Questions? no. Words? no. Just silence and a blank stare into space.

It will take less than a minute and will give you total control of your doorstep, and maybe a laugh.

Well, standing and staring might work. The problem is this guy came to the door, then came back while I was out picking up take out, confronting me in my driveway.

Think he wanted my lukewarm Baja Fresh burrito? Nah...

Think, maybe, he was casing my house? Sure, why not?

Think I'm thinking of locking and loading tonight in case a third visit is in store? One never knows. ;)

That is funny Paul!!!!!!!!!! LOL

We will get to you one day, and then you will care...:mad:
http://au.msnusers.com/gmrgierhkm5agj8815p1ndbj25

Ding Dong...Whose there.

"It is I,Tabs and I represent the Richard Gere Save a Gerbil Foundation."

I think he's trying to help you put it in perspective: "dont' sweat the small stuff."

I ask them for their address. when they ask why, I tell them that I plan to go to their house and annoy them. That usually works.

We don't get many solicitors at the door, but we do get the ocassional phone call solicitor. As soon as I realize it is a spam call I just give the phone to my 7 year old daughter. She loves talking to them.

I got some hippie girl a few years ago who wanted me to sign a petition to ban coal, nuclear, and natural gas power generation.

I think she was almost in tears when I was done with her. I don't have much patience for ignorance.

One of my favorite stories from a good friend. I've posted it before but it's funny enough for 2x.

JW's knock on his door, he answers.

JW, We have good news for you.

Paul, I won the lottery?

JW, No, it's about Jesus!

Paul, Jesus won the lottery?

JW, No, it;s not about gambling.

Paul, I'm not interested, Closes door.

"I shoot every third solicitor. The second one just left".

No, it's very small, so it's a "mote" as he said. :D

If I have the time, I invite them to discuss their ideas. After about 5 minutes of one of my rants they never show up again. I really would like a visit from a JW. Makes for good holiday fun...

By reading the title of this thread I thought it was going to be about posting girlie pics in the RPT. :rolleyes:

Why are Catholics coming to your door - that's not normal.

Officially stolen by me!
Also a good one Sammy!

You're correct, it's not normal.

I live within walking distance of a Morman church, so I see the young missionaries on bikes and on foot almost every day. They have not knocked on my door for over fifteen years. The secret to my success? I invited them in one day. Made them lunch. Had a very serious conversation about the Morman religion, and everything that is wrong with it. Backed it all up by giving them a copy of A Reply to a Morman that I keep on hand for just such occasions. Great little pamphlet. I'll never know, but maybe it actually had an affect on at least one of them. Must have had an affect on something; like I said, I see them all the time and they never stop at my house. Mission accomplished; time well spent. Of course that only takes care of one group; I'm still working on the rest.

I think the Mormons are pretty good about respecting your wishes. If you instruct them to never return they will take your address off their visit list. My wife is Jack-Mormon (drinks wine & coffee, loves the appropriate F-bomb now and then, does not attend church, thinks J.S. was whack) so the missionaries come by once every six months to see if her mind has changed. Ha-ha sorry guys.

The JW hang out by the local Starbucks with *free* copies of the Watchtower. I've never been rude to them and instead politely shut them down. They know me now and don't approach.

I've resolved this quite nicely....

A wrought iron fence, with spikes... And a nice thorny bush growing around it. The fence is pretty, doesn't bother the neighbors, who know they can use the side door.

The unwanted visitors apparently don't feel comfortable enough to open the gate and trespass... Funy how an (unlocked) gate restores boundaries ;-)

Just a thought: maybe delete the door bell and door knocker, if installed. If you don't hear them ring the doorbell or knock, you're less likely to answer.

I just had a wonderful awful idea... suppose you installed a sprinkler outside over your door with a solenoid valve connected to a button inside the house?

Merry Christmas!

The last time a JW came to my house, I was in the driveway washing my car. After a few seconds of his sales pitch,I was ready to chase the guy away. He looked over and noticed the Scuba flag on the back of my Bronco. Next thing you know, we had a two hour conversation, talking about different dive sites and our diving experiences. When were done, he handed me a copy of the Watchtower and said "Hey if you get a chance, flip through this". Then he just left. He was actually pretty cool. :D