the ultimate tips for the single guy thread
 

got to thinking the other day that at nearly 42 and never having been married all the things ive learned. i dont do better with ladies now, but i handle my business much more efficiently now-a-days. i reckon that most of what ive learned really is not worth writing down so i wont bore you with that, not yet anyway. i will ask that you recall my "internet chicks at the track" thread for example of my extensive work in the field. so follow along.


even you married cats were single once upon a time so give up the trix in setting the hook, getting her to the boat, and lastly the gaff and landing. you/we single guys still sampling the flavors of the entire orchard what makes your fuzzy peachs stay the crazy? tell us your best tips for the single man, could be notches on the bed post, getting out of a "her family" function, laundry or cooking tips, anything that will make my life as a single man easier and more fruitful.

here, i will start-- when changing the bedding i put TWO fitted sheets on the bed. not for the charmin like absorbency you may be thinking, but so if you drag a slab home on saturday night and the beds due fer its changin sunday you just excuse yourself for a moment and return to your quarters. once there you pull your bankies back, rip the top fitted sheet and BOOM! new bed sheet with a bit of the fabric softener still present. remake the bed and then get to work on that nightcap.

a second tip free of charge-- see above,, use fabric softener.


share your brilliance with the group, maybe even share what you thought was brilliant but left you no more than the foo in the rain..

T$

I think I have a bunch, but these are working as of late:

1. Don't waste time with any woman who talks $hit about her ex.

2. Your gut reaction as to whether or not she's "crazy" is correct 95% of the time. And that's ok, as long as you're prepared for what you're going to have to go through.

Gogar, those are Golden Rules!

I"ll chime in,,
Learn how to cook, the fastest way ,, well to you know, is through her stomach

a clean pad, clean towels for the target to dry her hands...yada yada yada.

you need to show that you are grown up, and appear like you have some staying power relationship wise. basically grow up.

"....when you drag a slab home....." i dont even know wtf this means, but it doenst scream "mr. right"

i think you are witty and funny as hell, but you aint trying to get into my pants..

As someone engaged while still in school, and married within weeks of graduation, I don't have any experience dating in the "grown up" world.

But from what I've seen, you seem to have the answer in your own post. Women from their upper 30s onward seem a lot different than women in their early 20s. As they age, they seem to appreciate the efficiency more and more, too.

I've never dated in the "grown up"world either.

I started dating my now-wife junior year of college. We got married 4 years after college. We've been together ten years now.

In college, it was easy to find women. I have no idea about the "real world".

No real advice other than "honesty is the best policy". If you are searching for a long term relationship, that is...

Otherwise? Hell, I think I was born married...32 years and counting.

If you wear cologne, immediately wash your hands after applying it.

Brush and floss and fresh shave.

Try to get her to take you to her place first, that way you can leave on your terms when you want/your done.

There were a lot of women in college, true, and you'd always eventually get to the promised land, but my impression is that it takes a lot less effort when you are trolling the 35+ year old waters.

As I recall, it would take multiple phone calls, multiple dates, events, etc. etc. before paydirt. For 35+, the rule seems to basically be "one and done," i.e., show me the money on the first (or maybe) second date.

Clean yourself up in every way but still be fun.

1. Get yourself a motorcycle and learn to ride it. Preferrably an HD that vibrates. Nuff said.
2. Get yourself a boat. Take her out on the boat. Nothing but bikini and you...and no way to leave unless you want her to.

Learn to work the monkey button, everything else is trivial.

I'm going on three months of marrige, my first, at the age of 36. The Internet has really, really changed dating in the adult world.

Some very valuable advice I got long ago was to acquire all your toys before you're married. I obeyed this rule religiously and it has served me well. Guns, guitars, cars, bikes, etc. It's kind of hard to rationalize these things to a new wife, much easier to do so to a GF who wants to get married.

What I know about women, not much but I will share.

1. Ears are not handles.
2. Do not wipe yourself on the bed linens or the curtains.
3. Stay away from women in trailer parks.
4. In the first months of dating do not let them see you naked with the lights on.
5. Do not make every comment that pops into your head.

Don't be desparate. They can sense it.

As soon as you are not looking for a female there will be an over-supply. The best way to get into this situation is to start going out with lots of females as friends (or FB's). And start going with them to places you may not normally go to like Ballet, theater, (heaven forbid) a vegitarian resturant, beach volleyball... The list goes on. Don't be too focused on what you think you are looking for. Relax and enjoy.

cliffy! married two weeks and you forgot how to drag a slab home?

part of what i was getting at by being more efficent was that i dont say the nearly as much stupid stuff that used to haunt me in years past. say as little as possible seems to work best, dont lie because that creates work in keeping a story strait, smile and frown when qued outta work jus fine..


for the record, i am doing fine with things here just thought that this exercise might be of some entertainment. still not seeing anything deeper than my 2x sheet trick though;)

T$

True dat.

Before I settled on the one woman who became my wife, I had a pretty good system going. I set up a pipeline of FB's, so I always knew I'd have a back-up if I wanted laid and the date I had on a given night just wasn't gonna be the one. It's amazing how much easier it is to get women when you have several FB's just a cell phone call away. Kinda sad when I shut it all down. I had a good four or five Asian cuties lined up and had put a lot of work into the pipeline. But the new girl I started dating made me forget all the others. She was in the hospital for a while just after we met and all I wanted to do was go visit her. So I ended up shutting down the pipeline and not ever regretting it.

Keep your nose hairs plucked. Wear tight pants that accentuate your butt. Or so I'm told :)

Do all of your shirts have butterfly collars to show off your chest hair?