Milwaukee WI Bans Farting in Bars and Restaurants

[john walker's workshop]

Milwaukee WI Bans Farting in Bars and Restaurants

AP (February 22, 2008) - Milwaukee, WI today became the first city in the US to ban the passing of gas in all of its bars and restaurants.

Mayor Tom Barrett, who previously championed the smoking ban, said, "The law will both make for a healthier environment and improve the quality of air for thousands of residents and tourists. We all know that the methane gas produced by passing gas is not only offensively odiferous and sometimes very putrid, but it can also be explosive and a threat to public safety. This legislation will go a long way to addressing this issue."

Not everyone is pleased with the new law, especially owners of Mexican restaurants, who feel singled out by the ban.

"What am I supposed to do?" asked Jose Garcia, owner of The Refried Beanery. "Am I going to have to take my major money maker( The local favorite "Double Beef and Bean Hot Buffalo Burrito") off the menu!? Not likely... This law is both ridiculous and unenforceable. I mean, how is a restaurant owner supposed to identify the offensive farter in a large crowd? Am I to go around the restaurant sniffing everyone's behind? I don't think so! Are people meant to start pointing at everyone else in the dining room when someone else cuts the cheese?"

Appropriately, the law will take effect on May 5, 2008 or "Cinco de Mayo" as it's known in Mexico. Warning tickets are to be issued for the first 90 days. After that, first time offenders will receive a fine of $100 and repeat offenders, will face a $250 fine. Restaurants will be fined $1,000 for non-enforcement.

"This utterly ridiculous law will only force people to go outside of my restaurant and stand in the street to fart," Garcia said. "They'll all be farting outside in front of my restaurant. It will virtually put me out of business! Who's going to walk through a nasty cloud of putrid fart stench to go inside my restaurant and eat? We've always taken pride in creating the farts that we are now going to be prosecuted for. You haven't heard the last of this from me, my family or my customers," he stated.

The Mayor said that the proceeds of the fines would go to the Fresh Air Fund.

[island911]

Bans Farting; no *****?

[scottmandue]

A little early for April 1st, this has to be a joke right?

And who is going to enforce this new law? The fart police?

NO ONE EXPECTS THE FART POLICE!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

What if I just drop my drawers right there and light it as it comes out? No methane - only clean, burnt, spent HCs in that case.

Either that or some enterprising person can patent underwear with built-in scrubbers/catylitic converters.

[island911]

Is this law also applied to established farting lounges?

[scottmandue]

Are dogs allowed in bars and restaurants in Milwaukee?

"Sparky... bad dog!"

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Can't they just put in a "farting" and "non-farting" section?

[island911]

How about a "No finger-pull Zone" . ."Finger-pull Free Zone" ?... no, wait, that would lead to free finger pulling.

[legion]

At least I can still fart in my own home....for now.

[Buckterrier]

Man, that sounds like a law you left coasters would pass.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Thank you. It is worth pointing out that this law was NOT passed in California. I think I'll go into a restaurant and rip a huge one in honor.

[island911]

Stick it to the big-gas-man!

[cool_chick]

utterly retarded.

[Buckterrier]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

Thank you. It is worth pointing out that this law was NOT passed in California. I think I'll go into a restaurant and rip a huge one in honor.

So you guys DID try to pass one similar??????????????? LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, I can't stop laughing, (sorry). LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[vbaron]

I googled "milwaukee fart" and could not find any articles - where did you get this?

[john walker's workshop]

[john walker's workshop]

Originally Posted by vbaron

I googled "milwaukee fart" and could not find any articles - where did you get this?

gotta be true, it was on the internet.

[Buckterrier]

Originally Posted by vbaron

I googled "milwaukee fart" and could not find any articles - where did you get this?

It doesn't matter, the lefties actually did try it!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL.
P-O-P, you aren't pulling my finger are you?? You know what will happen?

[Aurel]

I found the same article about NYC. This sounds like a joke.

http://subscribe.bongonews.com/layout1.php?event=1012&topic=

Aurel

[Flatbutt1]

time to become a Beano distributor.