Funny comments from your kids

[ja78911sc]

I was checking out the used car forum and my son walked up and said Dad are you buying another Porsche? Mom will freak out. If you buy another Porsche we can hide it in the attic.

[cl8ton]

My favorite from my 5 yr old daughter when dinning and ordering “Grill Cheese Sandwiches” for the kids.
She ordered a “Girl Cheese Sandwich” and was serious about it

[Hugh R]

About 20 years ago when my daughter was about 2, we were driving down the I-5 next to Griffith Park (Los Angeles) and she saw two hispanic guys in a pickup truck with no equipment in the back. She pointed to them and said "Gardners" I ***** you not!

[JonT]

You said you were going to stay off the used car forum! Man you got a problem!!!

To add to your thread my 3 year old niece once asked me on her visit to my house "aren't you so happy to see me?"

[GO DAWG GO]

My 4 year old daughter looked at me with a strange look one day and said "Daddy are you an As-shole"? Whats that?...Thats what mommy said!

I died laughing......

Bob

[tc-sacto]

Easter

Dad: Jackson, Easter is the time we celibrate Jesus returning from the grave and going back to heaven.

Son(age 4) To bad he's going to miss the easter egg hunt.

[kstar]

Not my kid, but . . .

When I was a kid, my younger sister ordered "chicken legs in white meat" at a KFC in Colorado.

Several years later as we were driving over the Golden Gate Bridge she asked if it was a "draw bridge".

Best,

Kurt

[GO DAWG GO]

My daughter's Tori-isms


"Dad, I dont think Sassy (Our golden retriever) is feeling good! We need to take her to the doctornarian".

Dad, can you turn on the "ganurfner" (airconditioner) I'm hot!


I gave her a piece of imported candy one day and she stuck it in her mouth and said "Dad that tastes stupid". I couldnt help but giggle.

My three year old son yells to me when he is in the swimming pool with my wife and says "Dad, there is the hugest Bee in the pool can you come out here an clobber it" had to be there....

Bob

[911Rob]

I wasn't there, but my wife still pees herself from telling this story...

While she was driving she honked the horn and our 2 y.o. yells out "$hithead"
My wife just cracked up laughing and quit swearing right there.

My wife is one that will tell a funny story and start laughing before she tells it and then never be able to tell it. You should see her read the definitions in a Balderdash game

[dewolf]

12yr old son looking at big bore motorcycles for sale and pipes up with, " geez, death is pretty cheap eh"

[Zef]

My 7 old daughter told me than it will be fun if life's made of candy....so we can eat it out.....I love her so much.

[Chocaholic]

Wife to 6 year old son inquiring about his little blond friend:

"Harry, is Leah the prettiest girl in school?"

Harry: "When you're not here!"

[on2wheels52]

"Dad, can I ride the BMW to school?"
Jim

[livi]

Isak, then 4 years old, comes up to me:

-Dad, where is my car?!?

-What car?

-The one I had in my hand!!

[URY914]

My dauther used to call my beer, "Daddy juice".

One day when she was about 4, I'm working in the garage and she was on the other side of the car and I didn't know it. Something happened and I said "$hit!".

She replyed, "Daddy, what happened?".

I said "Nothing honey".

She said, "Then why'd ya say $hit?".

[gassy]

When Annie was 4--now 11--we were on a walk and out of the blue she said "What if there were ten ants in a juggler's eye?" wtf?

[futuresoptions]

One of our local grocery stores was running a promotion of sorts where the banners read "Go Home a Hero" Well one of my daughters while shopping with my wife (and surrounded) by other customers asks my wife "Momma does that say "Go home a whore?".... priceless.....

[Noah930]

Literally half the stuff that comes out of my 3 year-old's mouth has me rolling. One of the treasures of having kids.

[JeremyD]

Probably the best one was during christmas at the mall - the family goes into Victoria's Secret to buy a niece a gift card. The store is packed. My son - was about 4. I gave some money to my wife standing in line at the counter - my son is standing in the middle of the store looking up at the 4ft poster of Adrianna Lima in Panties and a Bra - he yells loud - Hey Dad - I answer yes, what is it - I'm right here - He then point to Adirianna and asks what's her name?

The whole store broke out in laughter.

Stopped and looked at a 911 that was for sale on the side of the road with my then about 5 year old son - he says - if you come home with another cool car mom will kick your butt.

Yesterday I went outside to shoot some baskets at the neighbors basketball hoop - my son comes outside - Dad - did you come out here by yourself? yes I did. So, you came out here to shoot baskets by yourself? Yep - man dad - that's kind of kiddish - like a kid would do, you felling ok?

[Drago]

In line at the grocery store: "Dad, why is that man so fat?"

Yeah, he heard it.