I always thought this one of the most peaceful, concise lines in music..

And I dreamed I saw the bombers jet planes
Riding shotgun in the sky
Turning into butterflies
Above our nation.

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home
Washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

---King Missile ("Detachable Penis")

Another groin song:

Well I'm upper upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
They're such big balls
And they're dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

I've got big balls
Oh I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

We've got big balls
We've got big balls
We've got big balls
Dirty big balls
He's got big balls
She's got big balls
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

(We've got big balls)
(We've got big balls)

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish
(But we've got the biggest balls of them all)

AC/DC

Kill My Landlord-by Eddie Murphy

Dark and lonely on a summer's night.


Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.


Watchdog barking. Do he bite?


Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.


Slip in his window. Break his neck.


Then his house I start to wreck.


Got no reason. What the heck?


Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.


C-I-L-L my land lord.

We already played that
We're going to lighten it up a bit
We're going to lighten it up a bit
This really isn't a stupid song
This is a special song
This is an important song
This is a dance song
This is.. THIS IS RED ROCKS...THIS IS THE EDGE!!!

No really this is a song about...
We want to get serious now that we have your attention
We want to talk about..
We want to talk about an important man
Who could have an important effect
On everybody in this room's lives
If they were willing to take the chance
To let this person into their hearts and their views
Because this is a special man
this man was a philosepher many years ago
And this man wrote a great book
For this is the author of the Helping Friendly Book
The book that could change your life, the way it changed ours
And I hope that someday
That you, you people will all have the chance
To read the Helping Friendly Book
And experience the wisdom
Of the great and knowledgeable...Man who wrote the Helping Friendly Book
Because he is, the great and knowledgeable
He is the one, the only...Author of the great Helping Friendly Book
HE is, the man, the great man, the only, the special,
His name is...The Author of the Helping Friendly Book
He is the great, the knowledgeable, the one, the only, the great and knowledgeable...
Person who wrote the Helping Friendly Book
His name could only be, the one, the only, the only, the special, the Author of the Helping Friendly Book
HE WROTE THE F***ING BOOK OK!
HE WROTE THE BOOK
His name..
WAS..
ICCULUS!!!!!

Written by the great and knowledgeable Icculus
Your children are old enough
To read ICCULUS

A cold and lonely night
Running the pace of her fright
Look at her face tonight!

Thanks!

Ms. Cristina drives a nine four four
Satisfaction oozes from her pores
She keeps rings on her fingers
Marble on her floor
Cocaine on her dresser
Bars on her doors
She keeps her back against the wall
She keeps her back against the wall

So I say
I say welcome, welcome to the boomtown
Pick a habit
We got plenty to go around
Welcome, welcome to the boomtown
All that money makes such a succulent sound
Welcome to the boomtown

David & David - Welcome to the boomtown

White Room - Cream

In the white room with black curtains near the station.
Blackroof country, no gold pavements, tired starlings.
Silver horses ran down moonbeams in your dark eyes.
Dawnlight smiles on you leaving, my contentment.

Ill wait in this place where the sun never shines;
Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves.

You said no strings could secure you at the station.
Platform ticket, restless diesels, goodbye windows.
I walked into such a sad time at the station.
As I walked out, felt my own need just beginning.

Ill wait in the queue when the trains come back;
Lie with you where the shadows run from themselves.

At the party she was kindness in the hard crowd.
Consolation for the old wound now forgotten.
Yellow tigers crouched in jungles in her dark eyes.
She's just dressing, goodbye windows, tired starlings.

Ill sleep in this place with the lonely crowd;
Lie in the dark where the shadows run from themselves.

"Passive fields. January two thousand and twelve.
A nation that stands alone.
Cold voices, faces pale,
gathered unto their judgement day.
Such pride remains unbroken.
Such words remain unspoken.
Just mothers to stand in vain and cry.
Tears and medals in the rain.
Shall I recall when justice did prevail?
No reason to be found why reason did fail.
The all clear resounding.
The way was clear to rebuild this land.
Shall I call on you to guide me well,
to see our hopes and dreams fulfilled?
On this day of our ascension.

Stand your ground this is what we are fighting for.
For our spirit and laws and ways.
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.
For heaven or hell we shall not wait.
Shall I think of honour as lies
or lament it's aged slow demise?
Shall I stand as a total stranger
on this day in this stone chamber?

The all clear resounding.
The way was clear to rebuild this land.
Shall I call on you to guide me well.
To see our hopes and dreams fulfilled.
On this day of our ascension,
on this day we praise the fallen.

Stand your ground this is what we are fighting for.
For our spirit and laws and ways.
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.
For heaven or hell we shall not wait.
Shall I think of honour as lies
or lament it's aged slow demise?
Shall I stand as a total stranger
on this day in this stone chamber?"

-Honor. From VNV Nations' "Praise the fallen"

Man, this guy can write.

The company I work for was just sold. The purchaser is not from our country. I hope the story portrayed here does not come true for me.

"We Can't Make it Here"
Lyrics


Vietnam Vet with a cardboard sign
Sitting there by the left turn line
Flag on the wheelchair flapping in the breeze
One leg missing, both hands free
No one's paying much mind to him
The V.A. budget's stretched so thin
And there's more comin' home from the Mideast war
We can't make it here anymore

That big ol' building was the textile mill
It fed our kids and it paid our bills
But they turned us out and they closed the doors
We can't make it here anymore

See all those pallets piled up on the loading dock
They're just gonna set there till they rot
'Cause there's nothing to ship, nothing to pack
Just busted concrete and rusted tracks
Empty storefronts around the square
There's a needle in the gutter and glass everywhere
You don't come down here 'less you're looking to score
We can't make it here anymore

The bar's still open but man it's slow
The tip jar's light and the register's low
The bartender don't have much to say
The regular crowd gets thinner each day

Some have maxed out all their credit cards
Some are working two jobs and living in cars
Minimum wage won't pay for a roof, won't pay for a drink
If you gotta have proof just try it yourself Mr. CEO
See how far 5.15 an hour will go
Take a part time job at one of your stores
Bet you can't make it here anymore

High school girl with a bourgeois dream
Just like the pictures in the magazine
She found on the floor of the laundromat
A woman with kids can forget all that
If she comes up pregnant what'll she do
Forget the career, forget about school
Can she live on faith? live on hope?
High on Jesus or hooked on dope
When it's way too late to just say no
You can't make it here anymore

Now I'm stocking shirts in the Wal-Mart store
Just like the ones we made before
'Cept this one came from Singapore
I guess we can't make it here anymore

Should I hate a people for the shade of their skin
Or the shape of their eyes or the shape I'm in
Should I hate 'em for having our jobs today
No I hate the men sent the jobs away
I can see them all now, they haunt my dreams
All lily white and squeaky clean
They've never known want, they'll never know need
Their sh@# don't stink and their kids won't bleed
Their kids won't bleed in the da$% little war
And we can't make it here anymore

Will work for food
Will die for oil
Will kill for power and to us the spoils
The billionaires get to pay less tax
The working poor get to fall through the cracks
Let 'em eat jellybeans let 'em eat cake
Let 'em eat sh$%, whatever it takes
They can join the Air Force, or join the Corps
If they can't make it here anymore

And that's how it is
That's what we got
If the president wants to admit it or not
You can read it in the paper
Read it on the wall
Hear it on the wind
If you're listening at all
Get out of that limo
Look us in the eye
Call us on the cell phone
Tell us all why

In Dayton, Ohio
Or Portland, Maine
Or a cotton gin out on the great high plains
That's done closed down along with the school
And the hospital and the swimming pool
Dust devils dance in the noonday heat
There's rats in the alley
And trash in the street
Gang graffiti on a boxcar door
We can't make it here anymore

Music and lyrics © 2004 by James McMurtry

Every thread about SoCal makes me think of this song...

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this
bull-s*** three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks here in this, hopeless f***ing, hole we call LA.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any f***ing time.
Any f***ing day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.
It's a bull-s*** three ring circus sideshow of
freaks here in this hopeless ****ing hole we call LA.
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any f***ing time.
Any f***ing day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dips***s.
Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will
I sure could use a vacation from this
stupid s***, silly s***, stupid s***...
One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.
Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.
Learn to swim.
Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.

F*** L Ron Hubbard and F*** all his clones.
F*** all these gun-toting Hip gangster wannabes.

F*** retro anything. F*** your tattoos.
F*** all you junkies and F*** your short memory.

F*** smiley glad-hands with hidden agendas.
F*** these dysfunctional, insecure actresses.

Cuz I'm praying for rain
and I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna see it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.
I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.
I wanna see it come down.
Suck it down.
Suck it down.
Flush it down.

Wanna tell you a story,
about the house-rent blues
I come home one Friday,
had to tell the landlady I'd done lost my job
She said that don't comfort me,
long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come I didn't get the rent,
and out the door I went

So I goes to the landlady,
I said, "You let me slide?"
I'll have the rent for you tomorrow.
the next day I don't know
So said let me slide it on you know people,
I notice when I come home in the evening
She ain't got nothing nice to say to me,
but for five year she was so nice
Loh' she was lovy-dovy,
I come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?",
I said, "No, can't find no job"
Therefore I ain't got no money to pay the rent
She said "I don't believe you're tryin' to find no job"
Said "I seen you today you was standin' on a corner,
leaning up against a post"
I said "But I'm tired, I've been walkin' all day"
She said "That don't confront me,
long as I get my money next Friday"
Now next Friday come I didn't have the rent,
and out the door I went

So I go down the streets,
down to my good friend's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Uh, Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house,
I could see in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go in my room, pack up my things and I go,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
She a-hollerin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get any back rent,
she ain't gonna get none of it
So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

But I'm sitting now at the bar,
I'm getting drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm drinkin' bourbon, I'm drinkin' scotch, I'm drinkin' beer
Looked down the bar, here come the bartender
I said "Look man, come down here"
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
gotta get a drink man I'm gonna get gassed
Gonna get high man I ain't had enough,
need me a triple shot of that stuff
Gonna get drunk won't you listen right here,
I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Now by this time I'm plenty high,
you know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the bar I say to my bartender
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
He said "The clock on the wall say three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
gotta get drunk man so I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
one drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

This is on my headphones, right now:

an MMJ fave:

not a traditional "song" per se, but an interesting cut, none the less:

gotta luv a "beaver" song:

Okay...nobody is typing all this. Where do you guys go to cut & paste?

"Some people say there's a woman to blame
but I know
It's my own damned fault."

-Jimmy Buffett

"Whiskey bottles, and brand new cars
Oak tree you're in my way
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you"

THAT SMELL
LYNARD SKYNARD

Good one, Sand Man!

That "song" was spoken by a Mac, FWIW. :)

Best,

Sure we are, we're all typing from memory. :)

Just Google "Margaritaville lyrics" and BAM!