An Amish Joke

[dennis in se pa]

Thought I'd share with you:

Becky and Rachel are out in the field digging potatoes.
Becky pulls one out, shows it to Rachel and says:
"Why this looks like Jakies' balls!"
Rachel replies:
"Are Jakies' balls that big?"
Becky replies:
"No,....but they're that dirty!"

[rouxroux]

What goes "clip clop, clip, clop, bang, bang, clip clop"?


...An Amish drive-by shooting

[dhoward]

SIGNS YOUR AMISH TEEN IS IN TROUBLE

10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 5:00AM.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" Makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap!"

4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.

3. Uses slang expression: Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."

2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

[dafischer]

What do you call an Amish man with his arm up a horse's ass?


A mechanic.

[Mo_Gearhead]

GOD will get all you basturds for that!

[scottmandue]

I saw a cartoon once:

Two Amish ladies in traditional dress talking... in the background there is one Amish lady with a group of men flocking around here... one of the ladies in the foreground says to the other...

"Oh sure, I could get that kind of attention if I showed that much forehead!"

[Tim Polzin]

An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from
his pond.

The farmer shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die Kuhen haben dahin
gesheissen". Which means: "Don't drink the water; the cows have ***** in it".

The man shouts back: "I'm a Democrat (or what ever racial or political group you like), I don't understand. Please speak
in English.".

The Amish farmer says: "Use two hands; you'll get more".

[trekkor]

All of the Amish will surely be offended when they 'log in' tonight.


Nevermind...


KT

[scottmandue]

You said "log in"

[matt911]

Q: How do you satisfy an Amish woman?

A : Two Mennonite

[Buckterrier]

A mother and child are amish. They are traveling when the daughter says "momma my hands are cold." so the mother responds "stick them between your legs and they will warm up." so she does. "wow momma that works really well." then the next day the daughter was traveling with a guy, when he says "dang my hands are so cold." so the girl says "stick them between my legs and they will warm up." so he does. then he says "hey my nose is cold" and again the girl says "stick your nose between my legs and it will warm up." so again the guy does. then he says "my penis is cold too." so the girl responds "stick that between my legs and it will warm up".... the day after that the girl askes her mother "momma have you ever heard of a penis?" her mother replys "yes." and her daughter says "those make a big mess when they are thawing out."