Bladder Cancer Question? Doctors?

[126coupe]

My Dad is pushing 80, has bladder cancer and refuses to update any family members on his health, including my Mom. I get 2nd hand information from an old family attorney whom my Dad sometimes confides in.
He has been through chemo and radiation, he has had the bladder scraped many times and had some procedure done where he fills the bladder w this nasty stuff, then pisses it out. Well, he has to have the scraping thing done again, but is balking.
Can anyone out there add anything?
Thanks in advance

[TerryH]

Sorry to hear and hope he recovers. I can't add anything medical. Just wanted to state the obvious, that is enjoy your dad while he is here.

Sometimes the treatment is worse than the disease.

[Shadetree930]

FIL went through same thing. nasty stuff, scraping, etc. Not fun but the treatment is usually successful if diagnosed before surgery is required.

If the patient follow Dr's orders it usually turns out fine. Delay .... well that's a choice only your dad can make. He will have to 'live' with the consequences of his decisions.

[Heel n Toe]

When you say he refuses to update family members, do you mean that he won't go to the effort to make a call after a doctor visit, or do you mean that if you call him to ask what the doctor said, he refuses to talk about it?

Maybe he wouldn't mind your knowing, but just talking about it and dealing with followup questions from family members like, "Well Dad... are you going to set up an appointment for next week, or not?" is more than he wants to endure.

If all the family wants is information, have someone approach him and ask if he is willing to give the doctor persmission to speak to one of you. I'm sure some form will have to be signed by him in the presence of someone at the doctor's office. Then this person could call after his next doctor visit and would be authorized to hear the results of that visit and any tests that were performed... and that person could pass along the info to other family members.

If his goal is that he not have to deal with family members' badgering him to do what the doctor says, he may stipulate that it is okay for you to have the info, but don't call him afterwards.

[notfarnow]

My grandmother went through the same thing when she was 78, and after a bit they decided to remove it. She has done extremely well and is 85 now, as healthy or more so than ever before.

Good luck, I hope he is OK.

[pavulon]

I can only assume he is getting opinions from the physicans that have been treating him and making his own decisions after hearing what he's been told. Healthcare decisions are among the most personal anyone can make. I'd respect those decisions but let him know that it is bothering you to not know what he is going through.

From an educational standpoint, a leading cause of bladder cancer is smoking.

Best of luck.

[126coupe]

Originally Posted by pavulon

I can only assume he is getting opinions from the physicans that have been treating him and making his own decisions after hearing what he's been told. Healthcare decisions are among the most personal anyone can make. I'd respect those decisions but let him know that it is bothering you to not know what he is going through.

From an educational standpoint, a leading cause of bladder cancer is smoking.

Best of luck.

He is getting excellent treatment at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, CA, Thank God
Never smoked.
Part of his intestine has been removed so apparantly they cannot remove the bladder.
I Guess they use part of the intestine to make a new bladder.

[artplumber]

Probably related to chemical exposure.

He really should just go have the cysto and biopsies. It's a kind a PIA cancer for the most part, with repeat procedures and never quite getting rid of it. But, OTOH it generally doesn't result in demise. The bladder can be irrigated with chemo or BCG. Unless he's lost a whole bunch of bowel, they should be able to make a piece of bowel into a "bladder"/stoma if they need to. Just doesn't sound like they need to yet.

Maybe someone should go with him to the MD appts?

[126coupe]

Originally Posted by artplumber

Probably related to chemical exposure.

He really should just go have the cysto and biopsies. It's a kind a PIA cancer for the most part, with repeat procedures and never quite getting rid of it. But, OTOH it generally doesn't result in demise. The bladder can be irrigated with chemo or BCG. Unless he's lost a whole bunch of bowel, they should be able to make a piece of bowel into a "bladder"/stoma if they need to. Just doesn't sound like they need to yet.

Maybe someone should go with him to the MD appts?

He had alot of Bowel removed, so making a new bladder is out of the question.
Going to try and see if he would be agreeable to allowing me to talk to his oncologist