my family is breaking up.

[svandamme]

Grandma died yesterday, she had 5 kids
and from the looks of it, "the family" is no more

uncle
aunt
uncle
mum
uncle

oldest uncle, he's the tough one, no frills say it like it is
oldest aunt, she's the nun
middle uncle, he's the nice guy don't rock the boat , easy does it
my mum is the mental , selfcentric drama queen
youngest uncle, he's the artistic , pedantic doing better then all the rest, and if not, it's somebody elses fault

that's the summary... i'm sort of #6, as i grew up at grandma's place, she was the mother i never had (since my real one is crazy , unaffectionate , serial marrying make everybody crazy ...ch)

#1 is out of the loop with all other 4, because he's to serious/direct/tough
#2 &3 sort of cling together
#4 &5 sort of talk, when they aren't upset with eachother
#5 and #2 hate eachothers guts, and so #3 also don't play with #2


for all intent and purpose... the family as i grew up in , is no more

It's been down hill since grandpa died now 2 weeks shy of 2 years ago
and it's been an cold war for grandma's sake... now with the inheritance about to come up... i think it'll become a hot war...

Hell, they can't even align for the funeral arrangements...

#5 calls #1 to say that he needs to let #2 know that he knows a soprano singer who can come to the funeral for 350 euro's... ( never mind that grandma's explicit wish was to have a low key service, no frills)

#4 is reported to be "completely knocked over by the passing of grandma, and in the couch in front of hte fireplace" EG, she's tanked up dramatizing... (never mind she hardly visited in the hospital last month, and if she did spent at most 15 minutes at the bed before Effing off... while others went every day for lunch to help GM eat, or at 18h00 again for din-din and caretaking, or hours ot just hold GM's hand and be there so she wouldn't be alone, despite a heavy job, unlike her who does not work anymore since marrying a company director)

i'm 32... but damn i feel old when i have to deal with this... i'm relieved that grandma went out in her sleep, didn't have be awake and battle for hours till death , which was her biggest fear...

last month i spent hours besides her bed watching her suffering the indignity of old age... the fear of dying alone... trying to comfort her, and just be there as much as i could
with the knowledge that the best improvement that can be expected, is to be wheeled back to the retirement house, where she never felt home or happy...

I've done all i could for grandma, the only mother to put me to bed, give me a cross on my forehead, and who loved me like only a mother could... and she was caring for more folks throughout her life... all that knew as far as 1945 say the same thing about her...
"i was always welcome, she took care of me and others... she was a saint to me..."

Just like everybody who knew my grandpa said the : "he was the most honest and trustworthy man you could think off, he helped all his brothers, his family and took care of things...He did everything the right way, with the best possible intentions, efforts and results, with honour"

They both completed each other in good things...

bye bye Grandma, say hi to Grandpa for me... i'll miss you like nothing else in this world

[svandamme]

mixed up , this ain't political, if a mod is around, could you move it please?

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by svandamme

mixed up , this ain't political, if a mod is around, could you move it please?

Doesn't matter where this post goes, I really hope you find the strength to deal with this...any other grandchildren?

[HardDrive]

Sorry to hear about the turmoil. I feel your pain.

[svandamme]

yeah, #1 and #3 and #5 has kids

but i'm the special case since #4 is a dud parent.. so i'm more into the bigger family thing then any other .... i grew up part at Gm and Gp's... no other grandkid did, they had real parents...
2 sisters, but at leat they have a dad to go to , mine is the unknown soldier...another nice present from #4

i'll manage... just having a release of things at the mercy of some Scotch...it's tough being sober and toughing it out all the time, when the world works like it does... I suppose it's like loosing one's parents, with the twist that i don't have a family of my own yet to fall back on... just 2 cat's... and their focus is on killing things stone dead...and if tasty eat the thing...

[RPKESQ]

Sorry to hear of your sadness. May the sun shine for you soon.

[Oh Haha]

Bump and our thoughts and prayers to you, friend from a foreign land.

Hope Grandma found peace.

[berettafan]

Gives you a clue to how hard previous generations had to work to keep things functional.

I'd say your grandpa must've been one hell of a man.

[Jim Bremner]

I lost my Grandmother @ 24, She HELPED raise me She lived whit my Mom & Dad.

I feel for you. and I'm sorry for your loss.

Be Bigger than your Mom, Aunts & uncles and try to keep them all together.

My Sister is 2 years older than I and My Brother is 10 years younger. They don't talk

Thank GOD that my folks are around.

I don't look forward to try and keep them together

[Bill Douglas]

God bless your Granma. She sounded like a wounderful person and you were lucky to have her as part of your circle of loved ones.

[KFC911]

Be well my Pelican friend...I feel your pain. I too lost my grandmother recently (she kept me when I was small, and she loved to recall the memories). As I knelt beside her bed in the emergency room (she had fallen and was unconscious, but a scan revealed she was consumed with cancer) crying, I knew it was her time and asked my grandfather to bring her home which he did a couple of hours later. He passed three years ago. They were both 88 when they passed and lived full lives together and now they are together again just like I always will remember them...just like yours are now. I still remember the love in her eyes...be well, and I hope you find peace...

[LeeH]

If a family is a wheel, most have a hub. Remove the hub and things fall apart. You're right... sadly your family will never be the same. At least you recognize this. I was 19 and in the Navy when my mom passed unexpectedly. The youngest of six, the family I came home to when I got out in no way resembled the family I had when I went in.

[svandamme]

thx guys...i guess it's the way of many families, but it still sucks
my biggest relief is that they both went without to much of a death struggle...

[livi]

I am sorry to read this, Stijn. You need and very much deserve a positive brake. I think we both need a light.

[LakeCleElum]

Stijn - Sorry to hear about Grandma, what a great woman to raise you. As your mother was a serial "marry" type, I assume you had no relationship with your father? That's a shame too...

[Rikao4]

Stijn, some folks stumble thru life never having what you did.
given your dis. it was hard..BUT you had a bright beacon..
Some of us just get lucky,
folks like those 2 should give you hope..
that one day it's your turn...
I know it's easy to say don't feel so blue..
BUT,
your GM & GP would be the first to say...
smile, we are as we watch over you.

Rika

[crustychief]

Sorry to hear of your great loss. I hope you feel better soon.
Sandy

[svandamme]

clearing out her room in the retirement home tomorrow.. there's a shortage of rooms, so we figured that the sooner it's out, the sooner somebody from the waiting list can move in and be cared for. Funeral is next thursday... Thx again for the kind words

[TerryH]

So sorry for your loss, Stijn. Keep all the good thoughts fresh. It's always hard to lose someone that loves you just for being you. None of us have enough of those special people in our lives.

Went to my aunts funeral two weeks ago. She was very special to me especially since my mom (her sister) passed in 2001. I always felt better about life and myself after talking to her. She was one of a kind.

[Tobra]

Step up Stijn, family needs to make peace with each other, sometimes it takes one of the kids to show them the way. Time is a precioius thing, I guarantee they will regret it if they don't mend fences. good luck