Another eBay wacko

[imcarthur]

See 1952 Bentley

Item # 230311977213 on ebay.ca

An excerpt:

IF YOU FEEL EVEN THE SLIGHTEST PARANOID ANXIETY THAT THE CAR IS EVEN— SLIGHTLY OVER PRICED— IN ANY WAY— BY EVEN ONE DOLLAR OR EVEN ONE CENT —THEN THIS CAR IS DEFINATELY NOT FOR YOU—IT IS THE CAR FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FINANCES THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY—THIS IS THE CAR FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS MANY TIMES YOUR FINANCIAL NET WORTH IN EVERY WAY—THIS IS A CAR FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS SO MUCH MONEY—THEY DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY THEY HAVE— IF THE MONEY REQUIRED FOR YOU TO BUY THE CAR IS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST CONCERN FOR YOU—IF YOU NEED TO BEG OR BORROW EVEN THE SLIGHT AMOUNT OF MONEY FROM ANYBODY OR ANY KIND OF LENDING FINANCIAL INSTITION—EVEN ONE DOLLAR OR EVEN ONE CENT—IF THE DOLLAR PRICE OF THIS CAR IS NOT SMALL POCKET CHANGE FOR YOU—THEN DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME—-—ALL YOU BEER BUDGET —KRAFT DINNER—PEOPLE EMAILING ME—THERE IS ANOTHER EBAY SELLER COMPETING WITH MY BENTLEY . . .

Ian

[gprsh924]

Why is he yelling at us?

[imcarthur]

By your very question, I can tell that that is not the car for you. He said so . . . somewhere in his rant.

Ian

[ruf-porsche]

It's not the car for me because the steering wheel is on the WRONG SIDE OF THE CAR.

[scottmandue]

Not the car for me either.

It is just "awesome".

Now if it was "totally awesome" I would be bidding on that car like a mofo!

[kstar]

It's $1.01 over my budget.

Not for me.

[scottbombedout]

NICE GUY, NICE PLEASANT ADVERT!

OH AND STOP SHOUTING!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Here's the whole text of the description. In actual font size, replete with spelling and grammatical errors. Ouch. Makes my eyes hurt.




VERY SERIOUS AND VERY WELL FINANCIALY QUALIFIED BIDDERS ONLY----- this bentley might be the only one like it in existance-as per the photo of the odometer—this bentley only has 11,841 original miles —making it a highly collectible car— as per the document scans car has an Excellent Documented History—that show that the car has a very distinguished past ownership—comes with it’s original british registrtation—which lists the original owner of the car as the right honorable EARL OF MORAY—a scottish member of the british royal family—the original british registration also lists the original registerd address of the car as DARNAWAY CASTLE,SCOTLAND—which as per the internet photo is a huge castle,—on a huge estate in scotland—which the moray family has called home since the 1600’s—
This Bentley has a number of factory extras , including sliding sunroof, full leather interior, individual split front seats, twin burr walnut rear picnic tables, rear vanity mirrors, twin Lucas spotlights, twin bonnet locks and special large bumper over-riders—trunk is lined with brown leather-has brown carpet with matching brown leather trim—as per the photo car comes with a 5 piece trunk tool kit—as per the photo car comes with glove compartment tool kit—comes complete with its original leather-bound handbook—in october 1997 car was fully proffessionly serviced by a top bentley mechanic/owner-operator of a top bentley repair shop—who did all neccessary maintainance on the car and when it was finished told us—”the car runs great—drives great—needs nothing more done to it”—so confident was he that he gave us a 3000 KM warrently on the mechanical worthyness of the car—the car has been driven less than 100 KM—since it was serviced—in june 2008 car was fitted with 5 all season radial tires—which has given the car an incrediby smooth—incredibly quite ride—with fabulous road handling capability—in september 2008—the car got a new paint job—as as per the photos the car looks fabulous inside and out—and drives fabulous—the car was owned as per the original registery seals from new/1952—till aprox the early 1970’s—when we aquired the car in LONDON,ENGLAND—and brought it to canada—and have owned the car continously ever since—which makes ot only a 2 owner car—in 56 years—this is for the serious car collector to add to your serious car collection—THERE IS NO SHIPPING ON THIS CAR—IT IS IN PERSON PICKUP ONLY—IN TORONTO, CANADA—CAR MUST BE PICKED UP /PAID FOR BY CERTIFIED FUNDS WITHIN 7 DAYS OF THE END OF AUCTION—OTHERWISE IT WILL BE RE-LISTED OR OTHERWISE SOLD TO OTHER BUYERS—good luck to all the bidders—ALL THE OTHER BENTLEY R TYPES OUT THERE ARE GOING TO HAVE AT LEAST 5X TO 30X THE MILEAGE OF THIS ONE--MANY OF THEM USED COMMERCIALY AS WEDDING LIMOS ETC--WITH ALMOST ZERO DOCUMENTATION AS TO WHO THE LONG LIST OF PREVIOUS OWNERS HAVE BEEN--so this car is like a Fabergé egg-- so do not let it get away from you-

[Porsche-O-Phile]

ONLY HAS 11,841—ORIGINAL MILES ON IT—once it is sold it might NEVER come up for sale again in your life time—very recently the gold standard of CLASSIC car auctions—Barrett-Jackson—at their las vegas-OCTOBER,2008 car auction/JUST 3 WEEKS AGO —sold a similar car-which was a
1954 Rolls-Royce Silver Dawn – for $225,500 USD (Lot #794)—do a search on their website by lot #—las vegas—and see with your own eyes—YOU NEED TO GIVE BARRETT-JACKSON A $30,000 USD SECURITY DEPOSIT JUST TO GET A BIDDING NUMBER TO BID ON A CAR AT ANY OF THEIR AUCTIONS—SO THAT THEY KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT JUST A TIRE KICKER/SCAMMING THEM—CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE—SO YOU ARE GETTING THE DEAL OF YOUR LIFE ON THIS CAR—SO BID TO WIN YOUR DREAM BENTLEY TODAY--DON'T LET IT GET AWAY FROM YOU.--Superb!!!!!!!!!--A++++++++++++++++DISCLAIMER--FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS--@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@-ALL YOU PEOPLE EMAILING ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS--NEED TO KNOW THAT A BRITISH BENTLEY DEALER IS SELLING A SIMILAR CAR ON EBAY IN ENGLAND—1955 Bentley R Type—item number: 360101277872—HE IS ASKING IN A FIXED PRICE AUCTION—GBP 32,500.00 BRITISH POUNDS—WHICH IS APROX $60,000 USD—THAT IS HIS “BUY IT NOW”—PRICE—THIS BRITISH BENTLEY DEALER SELLS A LOT OF BENTLEYS—AND HE DOES NOT ALLOW ANY KIND OF HAGGLING ON HIS ASKING PRICE—HIS CAR HAS SIX TIMES THE MILEAGE OF MY CAR—SO CHECK OUT HIS LISTING—ALSO DO SOME GOOGLE SEARCHES UNDER 1952 BENTLEY--THIS WILL GIVE YOU SELLING PRICES BY LOTS OF BENTLEY DEALERS-THERE ARE ALSO COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT CAR PRICING WEBSITES SUCH AS NADAGUIDES.COM—WHERE YOU DO A SEARCH UNDER—1952 BENTLEY—WHICH WILL BRING UP A LIST OF 1952 BENTLEYS—THEN YOU CLICK—R TYPE—THEN YOU CLICK—4 DOOR—WHICH WILL GIVE YOU THE SELLING PRICES—THESE SELLING PRICES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME OR EBAY—-—BOTTOM LINE—EITHER YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY A CAR SUCH AS THIS FROM ME OR ANYBODY ELSE SELLING SIMILAR CARS OR YOU DON’T—SO THAT YOU ARE AWARE WHAT YOU ARE BIDDING ON AND WHAT CAR SUCH AS THIS REALLY COST TO BUY FROM ANYBODY--NOT JUST ME--ANYBODY--—THERE ARE LOT’S OF WATCHES AND DIAMOND RINGS SELLING ON EBAY FOR $50,000 OR MORE—GO TO YOUR LOCAL GOLF COURSE AND YOU WILL FIND LOT’S OF PEOPLE WEARING WATCHES AND DIAMOND RINGS THAT THEY PAID $50,000 OR MORE—GO TO YOUR LOCAL GOLF COURSE PARKING LOT--THESE ARE ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO PAID $50,000 OR MORE FOR THE DAILY RIDE TYPE CARS THAT THEY DRIVE TO YOUR LOCAL GOLF COURSE--A LUXURY JAPANESE CAR NOW EASILY COSTS MORE THAN $50,000--AND PEOPLE BUY THEM BY THE MILLIONS-- SO IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE HABIT OF USUALY SPENDING $50,000 OR MUCH MORE FOR THE CARS THAT YOU DRIVE--THEN MOST LIKELY THIS IS NOT THE CAR FOR YOU--AND THAT YOU ARE ONLY A "DREAMER" TYPE PERSON--SO BE AWARE OF WHAT YOU ARE BIDDING ON-- -I GET A LOT OF EMAILS--THE MAIN THING EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW IS THAT THIS IS AN AUCTION WITH A --""BUY IT NOW PRICE" --THIS MEANS THAT THE FIRST "BUY IT NOW GUY"--STOPS--ENDS THE AUCTION EARLY --AND WINS IT--AND EVERYONE ELSE IS OUT--SO GOOD LUCK TO THE WINNING BUY IT NOW PERSON-ALL YOU PEOPLE EMAILING ME--YOU NEED TO BE REGISTERED WITH EBAY TO WIN IT--. ALL YOU PEOPLE EMAILING ME TO STOP THE AUCTION EARLY—YOU NEED TO USE THE —“BUY IT NOW “ —BUTTON—THAT IS THE WAY EBAY WORKS—THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO BE FAIR AND SQUARE TO ALL THE VERY VERY RICH PEOPLE-- WHO LIVE IN JAPAN-CHINA-SAUDI ARABIA ETC WHO ABSOLUTELY LOVE BENTLEY CARS —THEY ARE VERY RICH PEOPLE—BUT WHO SPEAK BAD ENGLISH OR SPEAK NO ENGLISH AT ALL—BUT THEY ARE VERY GOOD DRIVERS—SO IF THEY BUY THE CAR THEY WILL KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IT VERY GOOD—BUT IT IS VERY HARD FOR THEM TO EMAIL ME IN GOOD ENGLISH—ALL YOU PEOPLE EMAILING ME IN GOOD ENGLISH—AND WHO SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH—YOU NEED TO BE FAIR TO ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE IN OTHER EBAY COUNTRYS WHO SPEAK ENGLISH AS A “SECOUND LANGUAGE”—SO NOT SO GOOD AS YOU.—SO THAT EVERYONE ON EBAY IN ALL THE EBAY COUNTRYS CAN USE THE SAME— “BUY IT NOW” —BUTTON TO BUY THE CAR AND END THE AUCTION “VERY EARLY” —THAT IS EBAY DEMOCRACY AT WORK—SO THAT ALL THE EBAY PEOPLE WHO USE TRANSLATORS CAN ALL GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER REAL GOOD LIKE THEY DO AT THE UN BUILDING IN NEW YORK—WHICH IS IN THE USA—ALL YOU PEOPLE EMAILING ME AND SENDING ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS—THAT IS CHEATING—YOU ARE TRYING TO CHEAT AND RIP OFF ALL OF THE HONEST EBAY PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HONESTLY BID ON THE CAR AND HONESTLY WIN THE CAR LIKE HONEST PEOPLE DO—IF YOU ARE NOT THE FINAL WINNING BIDDER THEN I DO NOT NEED YOU TO EMAIL ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS--AND GIVING ME INSTRUCTIONS THAT "I SHOULD PHONE THEM RIGHT AWAY"--BECAUSE THEY REALLY REALLY WANT TO BUY THE CAR FROM ME "TODAY"--—MANY OF THEM ARE CAR DEALERS PRETENDING TO BE PRIVATE BUYERS--WHO WANT TO BUY THE CAR SO THEY CAN RESELL IT FOR MUCH MUCH MORE MONEY IN THEIR OWN COUNTRYS--YOU NEED TO STOP TRYING TO CHEAT THE VERY HONEST EBAY PEOPLE AND JUST BID ON THE CAR SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE—SO NO MORE TRICKY—CHEATING STUFF—IF YOU LIKE THE CAR BID ON IT—IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE CAR DON’T BID ON IT—BUT STOP TRYING TO CHEAT THE RICH PEOPLE IN OTHER EBAY COUNTRYS WHO DO NOT SPEEK SO GOOD ENGLISH LIKE YOU.—SO NO MORE CHEATING STUFF FROM ALL YOU EMAILERS TRYING TO CHEAT THE HONEST EBAY PEOPLE BY USING YOUR DIRTY TRICKS..A LOT OF EBAY PEOPLE IN A LOT OF EBAY COUNTRYS REALLY WANT TO BUY THE CAR NOT JUST YOU—SO I NEED TO BE FAIR AND SQUARE TO EVERYBODY—ESPECIALY TO THE PEOPLE IN INDIA.—VERY VERY HONEST BIDDERS WHO HAVE A GOOD HEART ONLY—ALL YOU EMAILERS EMAILING ME FOR EXTRA PICTURES IT IS WINTER HERE IN CANADA SO I CANNOT SUPPLY OF ANY EXTRA PICTURES OF ANYTING--YOU HAVE NOT PLACED A SINGLE BID ON THE CAR--BUT YOU KEEP EMAILING ME FOR XTRA PICTURES AND EXTRA PICTURES AND MORE EXTRA PICTURES--YOU HAVE NOT PLACED A SINGLE BID ON THE CAR--I HAVE ZERO EXTRA PICTURES TO SEND YOU--IF YOU ARE---- SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED SCARED--------TO PLACE NOT EVEN A SINGLE BID ON THE CAR-IF YOU HAVE SUCH GREAT FEARS OR SUCH GREAT DOUBTS ABOUT THE CAR IN YOUR MIND OR HEART--THEN THIS IS NOT THE CAR FOR YOU---—ALL YOU PEOPLE EMAILING ME ASKING ME COUNTLESS QUESTIONS ABOUT THE CAR—IF YOU FEEL EVEN THE SLIGHTEST PARANOID ANXIETY ABOUT ANY OF THE TECHNICAL OR COSMETIC OR OPERATIONAL OR ROAD WORTHYNESS OR DRIVEABILITY DETAILS ABOUT THE CAR THAT YOU ARE EMAILING ME ABOUT—THEN THIS IS DEFINATELY NOT THE CAR FOR YOU—IT IS THE CAR FOR SOMEBODY COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY—SO DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME—IF YOU FEEL EVEN THE SLIGHTEST PARANOID ANXIETY THAT THE CAR IS EVEN— SLIGHTLY OVER PRICED— IN ANY WAY— BY EVEN ONE DOLLAR OR EVEN ONE CENT —THEN THIS CAR IS DEFINATELY NOT FOR YOU—IT IS THE CAR FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FINANCES THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY—THIS IS THE CAR FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS MANY TIMES YOUR FINANCIAL NET WORTH IN EVERY WAY—THIS IS A CAR FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS SO MUCH MONEY—THEY DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY THEY HAVE— IF THE MONEY REQUIRED FOR YOU TO BUY THE CAR IS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST CONCERN FOR YOU—IF YOU NEED TO BEG OR BORROW EVEN THE SLIGHT AMOUNT OF MONEY FROM ANYBODY OR ANY KIND OF LENDING FINANCIAL INSTITION—EVEN ONE DOLLAR OR EVEN ONE CENT—IF THE DOLLAR PRICE OF THIS CAR IS NOT SMALL POCKET CHANGE FOR YOU—THEN DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME—-—ALL YOU BEER BUDGET —KRAFT DINNER—PEOPLE EMAILING ME—THERE IS ANOTHER EBAY SELLER COMPETING WITH MY BENTLEY — SELLING THE PERFECT BUDGET FIXER UPPER BENTLEY FOR YOUR BEER AND KRAFT DINNER BUDGET—YOU CAN BUY THIS BENTLEY ALMOST AS CHEAP AS AN OLD PINTO—IF YOU KNOW WHAT AN OLD PINTO IS—THIS IS YOUR BUDGET BENTLEY DREAM COME TRUE—HE IS GIVING IT AWAY—HE IS YOUR SAVIOR—HERE IS HIS EBAY LISTING NUMBER—SO YOU CAN SEND HIM SOME EMAILS RIGHT AWAY—HURRY UP WITH ALL OF YOUR EMAILING TO HIM BECAUSE—HIS EBAY AUCTION IS ENDING VERY SOON——YOU CAN EVEN CUT AND PASTE THE EXACT SAME EMAILS YOU SEND TO ME AND SEND THEM TO HIM INSTEAD—THAT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF TIME AND ENERGY—BE SHURE TO TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS BENTLEY DEAL OF THE CENTURY—TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS — HERE IT IS—GET READY FOR LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AT FIRST SIGHT—1952 Bentley
Item number: 190269519283---HURRY AND BID ON IT--BEFORE IT WILL BE GONE FOREVER/TOOLATE IT HAS ALREADY SOLD/-FOR $6,600.00--LOOK AT THAT $6K CAR AND ASK YOURSELF IF IT IS NOT A $30 RESTORATION JOB--SO IF YOU ARE SHOPPING FOR A CHEAPER BENTLEY--THEN THIS CAR IS DEFINATELY NOT THE CAR FOR YOU--THANKS

[mikester]

In some sense I think we can all sympathize with this dork (I hope that doesn't offend any dorks out there).

My sympathy comes from trying to sell my own porsches - none of them were concours cars but I would always have guys coming to look at them like they were. "Oh, this than and the other thing is wrong with it - I couldn't possibly give you anywhere near your asking price."

So, finally - on my last car sale I put in the ad "This car is not perfect, it is not a concours car in any way shape or form. It is just a good, solid 30 year old original in mostly every way porsche. If you're looking for a perfect call, please do not call me as this is not the car for you. Notice the price, that is not the price of a perfect car. It isn't even the price of a daily driver (though this car is exactly that). Please don't waste our time."

Still - he's a dork.

[cgarr]

He should at least lift Her skirt so we can see!

[onlycafe]

it belonged to a moray eel!!!???

[dentist90]

IF YOU LIKE THE CAR BID ON IT—IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE CAR DON’T BID ON IT—BUT STOP TRYING TO CHEAT THE RICH PEOPLE IN OTHER EBAY COUNTRYS WHO DO NOT SPEEK SO GOOD ENGLISH LIKE YOU

I'm embarrassed that the seller is from Canada. But I'm not about to cheat those more gooder bidders out there, so I won't bid.

[tangerine911S]

Who in their right mind would buy a car from a guy like that. If thats how he types his strings of thought in an ebay ad, imaging having a real conversation with the guy! Eye-yi-yi!

[holtjv]

The tool-seller aside, those cars are really incredible.