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What?!?!
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Dog Diaries Compared to Cat Diaries
Got this in an email from a friend. I think it sums it up pretty good.
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY Day 983 of my captivity. *sigh* My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event... However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies..' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving a round his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
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running shoes, couple tools, fishing pole 1996 Subaru Legacy Outback AWD, 5speed 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX, 5speed 2014 Tundra SR5, 4x4 1964 Land Rover SII A 109 - sold this albatross |
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12-30-2008, 05:06 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 10,322
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Have you seen any of the Caturday threads on fark.com? Very worthwhile, even if just for the catshuns...
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“IN MY EXPERIENCE, SUSAN, WITHIN THEIR HEADS TOO MANY HUMANS SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN THE MIDDLE OF WARS THAT HAPPENED CENTURIES AGO.” |
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12-30-2008, 05:17 PM
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Cars & Coffee Killer
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: State of Failure
Posts: 32,246
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I originally read the title as "Dog Dairies Compared to Cat Dairies" and I had a different response prepared:
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Some Porsches long ago...then a wankle... 5 liters of VVT fury now -Chris "There is freedom in risk, just as there is oppression in security." |
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12-30-2008, 05:19 PM
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Registered
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Peoples Republic of Long Beach, NY
Posts: 21,140
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Ronin LB '77 911s 2.7 PMO E 8.5 SSI Monty MSD JPI w x6 |
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12-30-2008, 09:52 PM
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