My parents have lost their minds...

[Dueller]

My parents are in their 70's and live on a farm in rural Georgia. They are somewhat islolated with little social contact other than their country church and a neighbor that lives on the edge of their farm. Of late most of their outside world contact has centered around medical providers due to my father's recent problems.

As such, I try to call them at least once a day just to check on them and keep abreast of what's going on. I live 500 miles away. My brother talks to them not as often and he sees them atleast 1-2 times per month but he lives 90 miles away.

A few years back, I recognized their isolation because they spent $1800 on a vacuum cleaner system because the sales guy was so entertaining. But they ended up with an upright vacuum cleaner that is too heavy for either of them to operate. So be it. Nio biggie. I told mom not to worry...her ocassional housekeeper could get some use out of it.

Their drive/road to the house is nearly 1/2 mile from the main road. Typically it is graded with a box blade one a year and we haul in crushed gravel to make it easily navigable. This has always worked fine. Today some guy came by and asked if they would like to have it black topped. They discussed price and came to an agreement of $1.40 a square foot. So the guy starts the work...who knows what he laid down? He presents them a bill for $26,000. They wrote a check for $2600. Then the guy corrected them. They almost have a heart attack.

Ultimately he reduced the price to $20,000 which they paid. They guy is not local to them.

I'm just at a loss as to what to do.

[nostatic]

Sue them all...

Hey, you asked.

[Dueller]

My brother just called. It apparently is a scam where road crews/contractors hauling off old asphalt taken up from road work dump it off on people. Add to that that they didn't "pave" the entire length of their drive but rather only about an 800' section from the main road to a first cattle gate. They didn't even roll it. Just spread it on the bare dirt/ravel road.

Guess I'll call the AG tomorrow.

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Sue them all...

Hey, you asked.

I'm sure that the check was written to an individual. Who likely made a beeline to the bank to get cash and is long out of state by now.

FOCK!

[john walker's workshop]

gypsies. been going on for years. here's a link...http://www.rickross.com/reference/irish_travelers/irish_travelers6.html

their bank should have called them before cashing such a large check.

[JavaBrewer]

Getting old sucks. I have similar stories about my parents also in their 70's. My Dad is the classic "cheap azz" which only infuriates the takers to take even more.

[TerryH]

There are special laws against those that prey on the elderly. We all hope that hell has a special place for them also.

[DARISC]

Talk to your folks and try to get them to agree to consult with you before they buy anything over whatever dollar amount you all decide on.

Considering that they're stinging from the vacuum and asphalt gambits, perhaps they will see the wisdom of allowing you to help them in that way?

If they don't agree with that idea, is that to your mind, indicative that they are growing incompetent with age in terms of managing their money?

If so, are there legal options that could enable you to have control over their money to protect them from themselves?

That would be a tough decision to make and could cause a severe strain on your relationship with your folks, I realize. But if it came to that as opposed to seeing them continue getting ripped off by the scum who prey on the elderly, it would be the right thing to do, no?

Good luck.

[MRM]

Dueller, this is an old scam, so well known that there might be some protections in GA state law. Check it out ASAP. There may be a statute saying that driveway pavers have a waiting period or the money is refunadable for a period.

At the very least, follow these steps in this order immediately. As in yesterday. Stop payment on the check. Then call the parent's bank and explain the situation so that they can make sure the money doesn't leave the account, or is recaptured if it is out but not too far gone. If it is gone, find out where it went, call that bank, and talk to anyone you can to get the money to stick to the account without being forwarded.

Tell every the bank person you talk to that they have stolen money in the account, and that you will look to them for recovery if they let the money go. Money is fungible, and title to money does not transfer with possession. So if you can prove the stolen money was in their accounts, you can get it back from them, even if they send that particular money on to the thieves before you got to them. If you can trace the money you can do this, so the bank should deal with you seriously. Then call the local sheriff and report the incident. The bad guys are probably still around somewhere.

I'm betting that you can still find the money and head it off before it gets too far gone. Your mantra is that this is stolen money, and the bank has an obligation to not let it get away. If all else fails, you can file an emergency TRO on an ex parte basis and serve the bank to keep the money from being transfered. You'll have to have the partents sign the pleadings, if you're not admitted in GA, but you should be able to do the filing and hearing for them by fax and phone. Call the local clerk of court for information on how to file an emergency TRO.

As long as yo act quickly you should be able to get the money back. Time is of the essence.

[strupgolf]

Man that is terrible. Being 500 miles away sucks too. The scum that preys on the elderly should be shot. My inlaws are only 50 miles away and I'm moving closer to them soon. It SUCKS, just SUCKS.

[pavulon]

A friend's mom was scammed for $62K this past week. FBI brought in the guy that picked up the last envelope which was supposed to be stuffed w/ (a second) $9K cash payment. The guy claims he only knows he was sent to pick up a package...cell phone was going off w/ messages like "do you have the package yet..." Hopefully they at least get the people...if not the $$.

[vash]

if the AC came from a state project funded by federal money, i think they commited a felony. call the law.

[TimT]

hmmm On the bright side...

Asphalt millings can become a great driveway... the millings will knit together and become a substantial base..

thing is someone has to rake the windrow into the wheel path for a bit..

Under the Georgia sun that stuff will compact and consolidate well..

[MT930]

My Mom is prone to that type of thing. I have had to intervene a few times on things that she has bought. I worry all the time, she is only 50 miles away so she will call and ask if I think it's a good idea (sometimes). The worst thing is when she want's to surprise me or have someone fix something on the house because she did not want to bother me. The handy men have really taken advantage of her, they don't want to admit they have loss their judgment.

Growing old is tough she would not have been fooled when I was a kid.

They are like small children you need to keep an eye on them. Which is funny because my kids are starting to develop good judgment.

[Hugh R]

Part of the reason I took in my 80 y/o MIL. She gets off her meds and she's useless and can't reason at all. Find the bank account where the guy deposited it, You can't just cash a $20K check everywhere and track him down.

[red-beard]

There is a special place in hell for

Child Molesters
People that pray on the elderly
And those that talk in theatres.

[Jim Bremner]

Originally Posted by red-beard

There is a special place in hell for

Child Molesters
People that pray on the elderly
And those that talk in theatres.

& mimes, I really fricken hate mimes.

[fintstone]

Why didn't you have them put a stop payment order on the check?

[Wickd89]

Ask them if they are OK with you taking charge, and doing all their finances. Tell them like everyone, as we age, we have to be careful of people that specifically target them.
The distance makes it tough, but it is better than them loosing what they worked so hard to have.
I do my mom's accounts, she is 76, and is the toughest time of our lives. Its tough and getting tougher...

[DARISC]

Originally Posted by Jim Bremner

& mimes, I really fricken hate mimes.

Me too. Many years ago my upstairs neighbor was a mime. I used to put a blank cd in my stereo and play it with the volume turned up to 11; it would just drive the guy nuts.