Dad's Driving is becoming suspect

126coupe · 126coupe's Garage

My 80 year Dad driving is getting bad. My nephew was in the car when he witnessed him making a turn getting on the freeway the wrong day.
He makes right turns against red lights and received 2 moving violations in the span of 2 months. Can I call the DMV anonymously? I can't confront him in person

Jim Richards · 03-28-2009, 06:52 AM

I would confront him directly. Aging sucks but we have to be honest about it. He's going to be unhappy to lose a piece of his independence. OTOH, he could do harm to himself and to others.

onewhippedpuppy · 03-28-2009, 06:53 AM

You need to confront him directly. It won't be fun, but what if you do nothing and he hurts himself or someone else? Do the right thing, there's already too many old people on the roads that shouldn't be driving.

126coupe · 126coupe's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Richards

I would confront him directly. Aging sucks but we have to be honest about it. He's going to be unhappy to lose a piece of his independence. OTOH, he could do harm to himself and to others.

Without going into detail I cannot confront him directly, I need plan "B"

peppy · 03-28-2009, 06:55 AM

In VA a family member can report someone anonymously. If it is not a family member than they will tell who it was.

We used my moms doc to have her stop driving. She has Alzheimer's.

It's hard to take away a parents independence.

cgarr · cgarr's Garage

My Dad will be 80 next year, so far so good but I dread the day he is grounded from flying! This is a tough one!

onewhippedpuppy · 03-28-2009, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cgarr

My Dad will be 80 next year, so far so good but I dread the day he is grounded from flying! This is a tough one!

My grandfather is 78, to the best of anyone's knowledge he hasn't flown his Bonanza for nearly a year. There's always some excuse like it's annual, high fuel prices, weather, etc. The last family member that flew with him (ex-pilot) said that he was flying erratically, and worried that he wouldn't be able to grab the yoke if something happened (single yoke). Many of us suspect that he lost his medical but is too proud to admit it. He's a fitness nut and always bragged about his habits and good health, but age is catching up with him.

Jim Richards · 03-28-2009, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cgarr

My Dad will be 80 next year, so far so good but I dread the day he is grounded from flying! This is a tough one!

Damn, Craig...I thought you were 80!

Jim Richards · 03-28-2009, 07:09 AM

Well, 126, I would try the anonymous report to DMV if you absolutely cannot directly confront your dad. Good luck with it, I know you want to do what's best for him.

Aurel · Aurel's Garage

The other day, a grandma put her blinker on (thanks god!), and pulled in front of me doing 40 mph in the leftlane of the parkway, in 75 mph moving heavy traffic. Keep em off the roads !!!

onewhippedpuppy · 03-28-2009, 07:12 AM

Anytime you see someone driving the wrong way on an on/off ramp or highway, it's nearly guaranteed that they'll be in a Buick, and all you'll be able to see is white hair and eyes the size of saucers.

Dave L · 03-28-2009, 07:14 AM

I though Jim would have suggested snow tires

I would contact the DMV and ask if its possible to have him tested you might also contact his doctor and have the doctor ask your dad if he is still fit to drive. In both instances you will need some one of authority to tell dad that he cant drive anymore.

Jim Richards · 03-28-2009, 07:38 AM

Nah...we're into Spring now, Dave.

TerryH · TerryH's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by 126coupe

My 80 year Dad driving is getting bad. My nephew was in the car when he witnessed him making a turn getting on the freeway the wrong day.

I'll assume day should be way.

This is a very serious issue if he's driving against traffic. First there should be no non-volunteer passengers like children. I would call the DMV or go there directly and disuss the options. Monday at the latest considering lives may be at stake.

This probably isn't as rare as we'd think. I'm sure most of us would over-rate our driving abilities at a ripe old age too.

VINMAN · 03-28-2009, 08:05 AM

A few yrs ago, I had to "steal" my dads car from him. After visiting him numerous times, and finding different color paint scrapes on his car I said enough is enough.
Before that were events of driving into a different state when he was supposed to be going about a mile from the house.

Still, to this day he still fights with me about me taking him to the police to get his car back. He has severe dementia, so trying to reason with him is futile.

onewhippedpuppy · 03-28-2009, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TerryH

This probably isn't as rare as we'd think. I'm sure most of us would over-rate our driving abilities at a ripe old age too.

Pretty sure most of us are guilty of that right now.

Halm · 03-28-2009, 08:26 AM

This a tough deal to balance independence and driving. My brother and I confronted our 90 year old dad and got no where. So here in NC, my dad's doctor and I filed with DMV to have him tested. I even drove him to the written and then driving tests. I have no idea how he passed the seeing test much less the written questions.

Then at the driving test, the officer that rode with him came over to me and that dad passed. I looked him in the eye and said "Officer, that is the wrong answer." Before reinstating dad, he did a lot of home work and we at least got him restricted to daytime and no Interstate/45 MPH speed limit anywhere.

The real issue are the laws. - at least in NC- that make allowances for older drivers as opposed to tightening the restrictions.

onewhippedpuppy · 03-28-2009, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halm

The real issue are the laws. - at least in NC- that make allowances for older drivers as opposed to tightening the restrictions.

Never underestimate the lobby power of the AARP. We'll never see proper driving laws that apply to the elderly. Personally, I think there should be mandatory testing every year after 70.

Aurel · Aurel's Garage

Electric cars with 25 mph max speed and 30 miles autonomy would be perfect for oldsters. Make it a law, there is a huge market, and it is green. Seriously.

Halm · 03-28-2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Never underestimate the lobby power of the AARP. We'll never see proper driving laws that apply to the elderly. Personally, I think there should be mandatory testing every year after 70.

Could not agree more. . . As long as the testing is serious about safety.