Opinions on Love and Logic

[peppy]

Has anyone used this?

I have a son who is hard of hearing, he is two years old and uses only a few words.

During his speech therapy he sometimes throws the toys. His speech therapist has recommended Love and Logic.

I am wondering has anyone else used this or is it a bunch of BS?

Thanks

[HardDrive]

We use a modified version called Love, Logic and Lashing.

[peppy]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

We use a modified version called Love, Logic and Lashing.

I like that. I'll bet it is not in a book.

[Rikao4]

almost deaf myself..
so for a little guy of 2..
this will be hard..but doable..
smile..and throw back the toy..

Rika

[rammstein]

I thought 2 year olds are supposed to throw toys...

[peppy]

Originally Posted by rammstein

I thought 2 year olds are supposed to throw toys...

No, they told us it was unacceptable.

He also can not talk, he says a few words, but no talking.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Quote de rammstein

I thought 2 year olds are supposed to throw toys...

No, they told us it was unacceptable.



He also can not talk, he says a few words, but no talking.

Who is "they"? There's a lot of people in positions of supposed authority that have no idea what they are talking about. Both my kids threw toys at that age.

[peppy]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

Who is "they"? There's a lot of people in positions of supposed authority that have no idea what they are talking about. Both my kids threw toys at that age.

Speech therapists with CASTLE, part of UNC. Also our early interventionist.

www.med.unc.edu/earandhearing/pedsprogs/castle

[Rikao4]

Pep, it will be hard, but you know this.
as for the therapist..I doubt she has a deaf 2 yr old..
do the best you can..
most folks have enough problems with a healthy hearing kid..
you don't want him to just 'shutdown'..= a 2 yr old logic..

Rika

[peppy]

Here is a link to some info on one of the authors.

www.childrenintherapy.org/proponents/cline.html

[Crowbob]

Pep,

It is completely normal for a 2 year-old to throw toys. It is also completely normal to begin disciplining a 2 year old in the normal 2 year-old disciplinary way. A 2 year old expects everything to go exactly the way he wants it to. The sooner he learns (age appropriately) the world does not revolve around him, the happier everybody will be. He is hearing impaired so he naturally communicates nonverbally and is dealing w/ more frustrations than hearing people do. Therapists are therapists, you are the parent. I'll shut up now.

[MRM]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

Pep,

He is hearing impaired so he naturally communicates nonverbally and is dealing w/ more frustrations than hearing people do. Therapists are therapists, you are the parent. I'll shut up now.

Yep times a million. He is communicating by throwing toys. That is the only way he knows how to communicate clearly at this point.

There is a fine line between letting a kid run amok and overdisciplining him. A two year old throwing toys, especially in this situation, is not exactly a call for whips and chains. Wait at least a year before you get to that level. A therapist is going to err on the side of over discipline because that's what makes the kid more compliant, and that's what makes their job easier. You have to live with the brain that develops in your son the rest of your life. Make sure it doesn't get stifled now, but use common sense so that he doesn't get the idea that he can get away with anything.

When my kids were that age someone told us about the system of telling them to do something, counting to three, and at three they either did it or went to a 5 minute time out, and then came back to start over as though nothing had happened - no recriminations, no yelling, just back to where you were, telling him to do the task, (which can include calm down or pick up the toy) and he does it or goes back to time out. There were also automatic time outs, which could be used for tantrums.

Now with your son, the hard part is communicating what you want him to do. You can count to three with your fingers, but you need to make sure he knows what needs to be done before you get to three, or he will learn only that he is disciplined at random for arbitrary reasons. I'm thinking they may have underestimated the level of hearing oss he has suffered. You might want to have him rechecked.

[peppy]

Love And Logic just seems a bit extreme.

Example: Child acts up. Set him to his room, if he will not stay take the knob off and shut the door.

[peppy]

Originally Posted by MRM

Yep times a million. He is communicating by throwing toys. That is the only way he knows how to communicate clearly at this point.

There is a fine line between letting a kid run amok and overdisciplining him. A two year old throwing toys, especially in this situation, is not exactly a call for whips and chains. Wait at least a year before you get to that level. A therapist is going to err on the side of over discipline because that's what makes the kid more compliant, and that's what makes their job easier. You have to live with the brain that develops in your son the rest of your life. Make sure it doesn't get stifled now, but use common sense so that he doesn't get the idea that he can get away with anything.

When my kids were that age someone told us about the system of telling them to do something, counting to three, and at three they either did it or went to a 5 minute time out, and then came back to start over as though nothing had happened - no recriminations, no yelling, just back to where you were, telling him to do the task, (which can include calm down or pick up the toy) and he does it or goes back to time out. There were also automatic time outs, which could be used for tantrums.

Now with your son, the hard part is communicating what you want him to do. You can count to three with your fingers, but you need to make sure he knows what needs to be done before you get to three, or he will learn only that he is disciplined at random for arbitrary reasons. I'm thinking they may have underestimated the level of hearing oss he has suffered. You might want to have him rechecked.

Good point with the retesting. That is coming next month. He has a mild to moderate hearing loss with Auditory Neuropathy. I remember reading something about AN children not doing as well as other hearing loss kids.

[m21sniper]

I agree that a 2yo throwing toys is normal.