So what is "baggage", anyway?

[TechnoViking]

So I'm in my late 30's, dating women in their early to mid 30's. Everyone thinks about Baggage at this age.... but what exactly is it?

Are kids baggage? Some number of ex-husbands/boyfriends lurking around? What is baggage, and how do you know if a gal has too much of it?

Anyone found baggage that caused problems?

[Heel n Toe]

It's probably generally considered to be "components of one's psychological makeup (caused by their past) that could be considered negative and possibly 'get in the way' of healthy future relationships."

Everybody has a certain amount of baggage... and you will know if there is too much of it (for you) in another person.

[Gogar]

Oh man, if I wasn't typing on my phone.......

Kids are baggage, but not always bad. Ex-boyfriends or husbands referred to as "that a-hole" are baggage. You are just the next "a-hole." if she opens her purse and more than two prescription bottles are visible, that could be a sign of baggage. Lots of CC debt is baggage.

However, none of it is baggage if she accepts responsibility for it. If she's been "put apon", it's baggage.

[vash]

baggage, is the broad stroke of terms. it covers any reason your relationship isnt like the movies.

it could be kids, that nervous twitch everytime raise your hands to do something, burnt toast, a bad dog or cat from a previous relationship, a stalker....it goes on and on.

basically LIFE.

[onlycafe]

at a certain point most everyone will accrue an amount of baggage. how they will be able to handle it is the key. best to find someone with a light carry-on amount compared to someone with a steamer trunk load.
best of luck hunting.

[Seahawk]

I didn't get married until I was 34 so I dated up and down the age spectrum you're dealing with.

I dated women with kids that had a fanny pack of baggage; other, single women with steamer trunks full of issues.

My advice is simple: Pay attention, you'll know.

[HardDrive]

Oh brother do I have baggage.

My only saving grace is that the wife has quite a bit herself. She wouldn't deny it.

[bivenator]

I always thought baggage referred to the fat part of the butt that flairs out creating a mud flap effect.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Baggage: see Lorena Bobbitt.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by bivenator

I always thought baggage referred to the fat part of the butt that flairs out creating a mud flap effect.

muffin top?

[pmajka]

I would add Debt with no plans or means to climb out of it.
Do a credit check.

Easiest way to avoid this is to find a woman with a Trust Fund. Its her's and if she quits/loses her job, or wants to start a family with you, There is still an income.

[onlycafe]

you could ask an expert for advice.

[Dan in Pasadena]

Baggage is what it's called if your new lady/girlfriend/wife, etc
DOESN'T like your opinion/"attitude" about a given relationship-related subject.

If she DOES like your opinion/attitude on the subject then it is called "life experience".

Think I'm a cynic? Think again.

[tabs]

And exactly where should I hang out to meet those women with Trust Funds...it seems that they don't last on the lot for very long...cause I have not met one yet that was available. Now the wife next door in CA, her Dad owned the 19th largest bank in CA...

[pmajka]

I wish i knew, it is a secret held close to ones chest. This pearl of wisdom was given to me 12 yrs ago by a co-worker/Instructor.
He has dated at least 3 women with TF's and ended up marrying the third. Has been happily married for 4 yrs now.

I, sadly, did not heed his advice.

Originally Posted by tabs

And exactly where should I hang out to meet those women with Trust Funds...it seems that they don't last on the lot for very long...cause I have not met one yet that was available. Now the wife next door in CA, her Dad owned the 19th largest bank in CA...

[legion]

I've got a male friend with more baggage than I thought was humanly possible.

He still moans about how his parents getting divorced, when he was 3, ruined his life. Never mind that he still doesn't have a paying job a 30 and his dad gives him an allowance and free use of his condos in Chicago and Ft. Lauderdale. His mother still runs his life and his father funds it.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by pmajka

I would add Debt with no plans or means to climb out of it.
Do a credit check.

Easiest way to avoid this is to find a woman with a Trust Fund. Its her's and if she quits/loses her job, or wants to start a family with you, There is still an income.

Nothing says "I love you" like a credit check. Is this a wedding or a merger?

Originally Posted by Dan in Pasadena

Baggage is what it's called if your new lady/girlfriend/wife, etc
DOESN'T like your opinion/"attitude" about a given relationship-related subject.

If she DOES like your opinion/attitude on the subject then it is called "life experience".

Think I'm a cynic? Think again.

Hi there stranger!

[porsche4life]

Originally Posted by legion

I've got a male friend with more baggage than I thought was humanly possible.

He still moans about how his parents getting divorced, when he was 3, ruined his life. Never mind that he still doesn't have a paying job a 30 and his dad gives him an allowance and free use of his condos in Chicago and Ft. Lauderdale. His mother still runs his life and his father funds it.

Other than the complaining it sounds like he has life figured out.

[Bill Douglas]

Originally Posted by porsche4life

Other than the complaining it sounds like he has life figured out.

Exactly - this guy's a champion.

My Mom and my Dad never, ever, ever... came to see me in a school play. I think I'll sue them for the fact that I never became a famous hollwood actor, what with all the free females, champayne, drugs, - argh I hate to think what I've missed out on LOL.

[Zeke]

Anything over a size 8.