Edumakate me on prenups!

[scottmandue]

Greetings all,

I am not a wealthy man... however I do own a house in So. Cal. that is worth a small fortune and have a retirement plan.

My lady friend gets by financially but doesn't have any real money put away... when we were kicking around the idea of getting married in the distant future she volunteered "I think we should get a prenup so people don't think I'm marring you for your money".

I looked online and saw everything from "download the forms here" to "each party need to get a lawyer"

Anyone here have experience and or recommendations on such matters?

Thanks in advance to the PPOT brain trust.

[legion]

If I were in your position, I'd sit down with a lawyer and my lady friend. I'd want the first session to generate a list of issues that need to be resolved. I'd take that list home and work it out with the lady-friend and come back to the lawyer with your decisions.

[m21sniper]

You want the best advice humanly possible?

Don't get married. Ever.

BTW, she most likely said that to judge your reaction. Anyone going into marriage already thinking about an exit strategy should never be getting married to begin with.

[Dottore]

Have a word with Mel Gibson about the wisdom of getting a prenup in California.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

You want the best advice humanly possible?

Don't get married. Ever.

BTW, she most likely said that to judge your reaction. Anyone going into marriage already thinking about an exit strategy should never be getting married to begin with.

Rofl. I tend to agree with part 2 though, if you're already planning your divorce, maybe you shouldn't be so quick to jump? Losing 1/2 of your stuff just ups the ante. So how confident are you about this relationship?

[legion]

She might have also been throwing it out there as an attempt to reel him in.

Then again, and I know this theory will not sit well with some, she may have been completely honest and just speaking her mind.

[Rot 911]

I have done a number of these. Pre-nups (or antenuptial) agreements are the most misunderstood and easiest to screw up cases for attorneys and clients alike. Prenuptial agreements have certain requirements. Generally, they are as follows:

there is a full and fair disclosure of the earnings and property of each party, and the parties have had an opportunity to consult with legal counsel of their own choice.

As a general rule, the agreement must also be:

in writing;
executed in the presence of two witnesses; and
acknowledged by the parties before a person authorized to administer an oath (notarized).

In most cases prenuptial agreements are upheld. It is only in cases where there was not full disclosure or the agreement becomes substantively unfair at the time of the divorce that Court's strike down the validity of such agreements. An agreement may deemed substantively unfair if the circumstances on which the agreement was based have changed so drastically that enforcement would not comport with the reasonable expectations of the parties at inception.

[Rot 911]

Oh, and anyone that does their own pre-nup has a fool for a client.

[cmccuist]

THIS THREAD IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT PICS!!!!

Of the house.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by legion

Then again, and I know this theory will not sit well with some, she may have been completely honest and just speaking her mind.

Oh yeah, because people do that all the time. Especially women.

True love DOES NOT require government involvement.

[Gogar]

Maybe she wants a prenup because she doesn't want to lose half of her stuff when you divorce.


Oh wait, she's the chick. Forget it.

[Danimal16]

Originally Posted by Kurt V

I have done a number of these. Pre-nups (or antenuptial) agreements are the most misunderstood and easiest to screw up cases for attorneys and clients alike. Prenuptial agreements have certain requirements. Generally, they are as follows:

there is a full and fair disclosure of the earnings and property of each party, and the parties have had an opportunity to consult with legal counsel of their own choice.

As a general rule, the agreement must also be:

in writing;
executed in the presence of two witnesses; and
acknowledged by the parties before a person authorized to administer an oath (notarized).

In most cases prenuptial agreements are upheld. It is only in cases where there was not full disclosure or the agreement becomes substantively unfair at the time of the divorce that Court's strike down the validity of such agreements. An agreement may deemed substantively unfair if the circumstances on which the agreement was based have changed so drastically that enforcement would not comport with the reasonable expectations of the parties at inception.

Kurt's advice is spot on. The one BIG mistake that I made with Blondzilla is that the topic was discussed and she lied to me.

A pre-nup just makes sense. And in California there is such a thing as SEPERATE property. You should protect this at this time as you can always modify the agreement later on if you are so inclined. Protect your house, your income and your retirement.

The other thing is that if she has a problem with what you want to do it is far better to find this out now than later if things go south. If there is one thing that my painful divorce can serve as, is NOT to formalize at least the process. Do this and do not hesitate. She will also need to speak with an attorney that is not your attorney at least IMHO so that she has independent counsel.

Kurt is spot on, trust me, I am the fool that would have benefited from such sound advice. I lost my house and half of my cash wealth. The only thing I can ever hope for is karma catching up with her. Do not make the mistake that I made.

Dan

[Jim Bremner]

just kidding...been waiting 6 months to use this one!

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Kurt V

I have done a number of these. Pre-nups (or antenuptial) agreements are the most misunderstood and easiest to screw up cases for attorneys and clients alike. Prenuptial agreements have certain requirements. Generally, they are as follows:

theree is a full and fair disclosure of the earnings and property of each party, and the parties have had an opportunity to consult with legal counsel of their own choice.

As a general rule, the agreement must also be:

in writing;
executed in the presence of two witnesses; and
acknowledged by the parties before a person authorized to administer an oath (notarized).

In most cases prenuptial agreements are upheld. It is only in cases where theree was not full disclosure or the agreement becomes substantively unfair at the time of the divorce that Court's strike down the validity of such agreements. An agreement may deemed substantively unfair if the circumstances on which the agreement was based have changed so drastically that enforcement would not comport with the reasonable expectations of the parties at inception.

Thanks Kurt, so this is a lawyer thing... bummer because I was hoping it could be done quick and easy... any idea what I should expect to pay for a lawyer to do the prenup? Is there a particulate type of layer I should look for?

And to all you cynical dogs out there, I have been around the block a few times and can tell when I'm being conned or lied to.

[RWebb]

Originally Posted by legion

...

Then again, and I know this theory will not sit well with some, she may have been completely honest and just speaking her mind.

????

my understanding was that he was dating a woman

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

And to all you cynical dogs out there, I have been around the block a few times and can tell when I'm being conned or lied to.

Is that what you said the first few times?

Originally Posted by RWebb

????

my understanding was that he was dating a woman

Rofl.

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by RWebb

????

my understanding was that he was dating a woman

So if all women are lieing scum why are you guys married?

Oh... the woman YOU married isn't like that.

FWIW I don't like the idea... as much as I hate to agree with snipper I don't like the idea going into a marriage planing to fail... but on the other hand maybe it is not a good idea to go into a marriage not planning at all.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

So if all women are lieing scum why are you guys married?

Oh... the woman YOU married isn't like that.

Nah, we've just accepted it.

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

So if all women are lieing scum why are you guys married?

Oh... the woman YOU married isn't like that.

FWIW I don't like the idea... as much as I hate to agree with snipper I don't like the idea going into a marriage planing to fail... but on the other hand maybe it is not a good idea to go into a marriage not planning at all.

scott, just put everything in my name. I'll look after everything for you.

[Rikao4]

do the pre...
get married..
enjoy her and life..
it no workie..
it's because you both quit trying..


Rika
(married 26 yrs...love her,she's the best thing in my life)