Go Out W\ A Group & Bill Time People Skip Out..What Would You Do?
 

So etiquette \ ethics question you you all socialites...A big group of us go out last night, around 20 maybe more for a friend's birthday. During the course of the night people casually leave and DID NOT pay their tab, and when we go to close out there is a huge bill (from alcohol and food) that the few rest of us now have to decide what to do.

If you knew the people that skipped out would you:
1) Cover them and think "ahhh simple mistake, they were anxious to get home and forgot about paying their bill"?
2) Just annoyingly cover their portion and fuhgetaboutit?
3) Just pay for your piece of the tab?
4) Pay their portion and then call them and ask them to reimburse you?
5) Pay their portion, call them the next day and chew them out?

Your thoughts?
Yasin

4 for sure....if you're nice about it, what can they say?

Pay their portion and don't dine out with them again.

Or, maybe ask them out for a nice dinner at Morton's, and excuse yourself right after you're finished, mention something about going to the restroom, and haul ass. :)

I hate leaving those types of events early. I'll always try to estimate my portion including tip and drop it on the table knowing it's more than I really owe.

I'd call em on it.

I have a friend that has an annoying habit. He always orders the most expensive things on the menu, several apps and drinks. When it comes time to pay we divi up evenly so he pays less than what he orderd and for some reason he only ever has enough to cover his portion but never tip.

That's what I'd do.

I just got back from a golf trip with 8 guys. We ran up a $2,400 bill at a restaurant. Everyone tossed in their $300 without complaint. In fact, the conversation never even slowed down. A great group of friends and a truly memorable evening. It would have been ruined if someone had tried to skip out on the bill.

email 'em this link.

BTDT. I'd just pay the bill and then stop associating with them.

Funny thing I learned:
If you go out for drinks (and some food) with a bunch of 914 owners, the last guy there is gonna get stuck. IIRC, the last time I did that Milt got hosed even worse than I did. I paid about $40 for three beers and he ended up covering about $50 of the bill. I think it was Milt, not sure on that one.

But the last time I went out to a restaurant with 911 owners, the guy with the bill ended up saying "there's too much money here" and had to try and give some back. Seems everyone was just throwing out $20s to more than cover their share.
The waiter ended up getting a huge tip.

So if you're dining with with 914 owners, leave early. If they drive 911s, stick around ;)

So I guess you all forgot the Oprah KFC coupon for the free 2 piece grilled chicken meal?

We should be able to expect that when dining with FRIENDS we won't have this problem, but I've been caught in this situation with friends, too. I assume the birthday celebrant got a free ride!

If it's a group that gathers regularly, I wouldn't sweat it (but honestly I can't imagine anybody in the regular group skipping out like that to begin with), it will even up next time. Otherwise, #4.

And I'm curious what you actually did before leaving the restaurant last night!

Public humiliation is a great weapon.

I'd circulate a public e-mail thanking all the attendees and special recognition to "Person A", "Person B", "Person C" (etc. - name all the paying individuals) for "...graciously stepping forward at the end of the night and offering to assist in helping to pay the tab". In this way, you don't name names of the leechers, but it's pretty obvious by omission and (hopefully) a few of them will be shamed into ponying up to the decent folks who stayed and paid.

Wow, I can't believe people would actually do that.

I'd just make sure that you or your wife mention it to the others at some point, hopefully the most gossipy ones, in your group. People, esp. the ladies, love to talk about that ****.

It probably will get back to the non-payers and they'll be shamed into paying (which would be a double loss to them - they have to pay but the damage to their reputations is done).

Even if they don't pay, it's just not worth it. They get a free dinner, but that is really embarrasing and people never forget things like that.

I always put my stuff on a separate check no matter what to avoid this problem.

I haven't had that happen, or at least not recently. My friends wouldn't do that.

I do remember with my ex-wife, we had 'friends' who would not put enough into the pot and we'd be short.

True story, I have a friend who has been a bartender at an upscale hotel in Washington, DC for years. He say that democratic congressmen (not women) get together and after a drink or two start slipping out and stiffing the others. The republicans come there too and get *****faced and argue over wanting to each pay the bill. Says it's been like this for the two decades he's worked there.

I've met with a number of Pelicans across the country and in half a dozen countries, there is ALWAYS too much money on the table.

my wife and I have a little joke about this; it goes like this..... "ah? who had the coke?"
long story, but I've been paying tabs all my life. Whatyagonnado?

It does piss a guy off when this stuff happens, but I'm thankful that I've always had the resources to just pay the (entire) tab and forget about it. Last one was around $500. If money is tight, I'd think option #4 would be the option.

Sorry to hear about your great friendships :(

I stopped associating with a group of folks for this exact reason. I would ask them for their share, then think twice about going out with them again.

Funny I never got the checks...could you please put new ones in the mail...that would be appreciated...

Havn't had a problem with the indivdual Pelicans...either we pay our own or one of us picks up the check...Jerry Nugget is kinda cheap so it don't hurt much...But it was a group of Pelicans that were cheap SOBS and left me to cover the tip on a nearly $600 bill...

Except the night we had dinner with Grady Clay. Wayne got stuck for more than a hundred bucks. I put in my share and then polled a couple of guys at my end of the table. I remember one who told me he sent his money to the other end. B***S. I watched the guy the whole time and he never reached for his wallet. Must have been a couple of those guys for Wayne to come up that short. Well, Wayne bought Grady's dinner and a glass of wine, but that was no hundred.

You just found out who your friends are, and who they aren't.

Not me. My daughter and I both got our free meal. 15 minuites after we got our, the store manager said that they weren't going to honor the coupon any more.

Fried chicken and any food taste so much better when it's FREE.

If they wanted to control the number of people asking for free food, they should have gone by the digit on thye bar code, even / odd number on certain days. Just another SCAM by KFC to have people go to their stores.

I've had this happen with some people before, friends... mostly its been accidentally... they have a drink or something small to eat... time goes by.. and they head out and forgot they had something. Other times it's not been so accidental, but we're all pretty broke-ass...

If it is a friend I don't see a lot or not that great of a friend I will pick it up but make note to never eat on the same check as them again.

If it is a friend I see all the time I will pick it up and either forget about it if it's a one time thing or I will go out with them again at the same place another time, and then, when the check comes, mention the past time when I picked up the check. Something like "oh.. you know two weeks ago when we were here and I grabbed that check?" ... to jog their memory.. and then "you wanna get this one this time?"

That usually works. Especially with close friends and roommates.. when eating out we put things on one bill and just take turns picking the check up.. keeping a mental note of how often each other pick it up. Usually if there are drinks involved everyone picks up their own drinks, even if the food is together. That's just kind of an unwritten rule around here. Same with tips.

Back in high school a friend of a friend received an inheritance (not much but it was a lot to us back then). He would end up going out with a small group of us and WE always ended up carrying his azz. He never had money! After a few times we were VERY open about bashing him and calling him out. It didn't seem to bother him, I stopped going if he was to be there.

BTW - option 4 and these days there is always too much money on the table when I am with good friends.

Thanks for chiming in guys. A few other people in the group covered their portion and I doubt will go after them for the amount they owed. Pretty crappy.

Yasin

A month ago 8 of us went out for dinner and sake. I never saw the check - one of my friends picked it up and paid it (likely was around $500). Right after that we went out for drinks, I made it clear that I was buying the first round. When it came time to leave, same story. Another person (who I'd just met that night and was a friend of a friend) had slipped off and paid the tab.

My attempt at paying forward was when I was in NC last week with two of the guys who were in that group. They didn't pay for dinner either night - I was quicker with the wallet than they were and the second time tossed their cash back at them.

*Those* are friends (and they are not rich). Ones that slip out early and don't leave money aren't.

That's how it goes with my friends.

A while ago one of my friends (Mark) put a small dent in a friends car door. The owner (Tom) had it fixed (paintless) and refused to let the Mark pay for the repair. A month later we were at dinner and Mark brought two very nice bottles of wine for Tom. We all enjoyed the wine.

After dinner Tom commented to me how nice it was that Mark went to the trouble to bring him some nice wine. Neither of these men are wealthy, but both are gracious and value friendship more than money.

The last time we ate with a group of friends we had 8 people there. It was a chance meeting for one couple. They just happened to be there at the right time. At the end we ended up with so much extra cash the wait staff ended up with a $150.00 tip.

Yup. I got together with a large group of friends last week. I hosted dinner at my home one night and we went out the next. I didn't buy a single drink because they were quicker with their wallets. Typically the only fight when we go out is over who picks up the bill.

I used to have "friends" who tried to skip out on the bill. I finally wised up and realized that they were more pricks than friends.

Lesson learned, unfortunately. I always make a point of throwing in more then my share, fortunately my friends live by the same rules, so we always end up "divving up" the extra cash.


I have had this happen on occasion and just picked up the tap. There are times when I know a friend may be short for whatever reason, I have no problem "covering". If I think we were stiffed, the next time I am in that person's company and the bill comes my way, a simple hint of him stiffing the group the last time is mentioned. Tends to solve the problem or the individual isn't welcomed the next time around.

I once heard an expression that went something like this:
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
At the very least, don't associate with them-they are not your friends. I would be more inclined to call them and ask them to cover their share.

Had a nice dinner out with some friends and it was left to me to figure the bill and tip. Service was excellent. I told everyone it was $100 each and that included a 20% tip. Lance, a notorious cheapskate immediately balked at the 20% tip. I announced that I would be putting extra money in to compensate for Lance's smallish tip. Lance was pissed, but put in the entire $100. We were NOT an easy table to serve and the service was excellent.

To bad this stuff happens, but it does. I know you are a quality person, it's not the money, it's the principle. Look closely at the source(s) of the missing funds and write it off. Small folks, small loss...considering. Something tells me your advice/help to them will be commensurate with this experience. You win, they get to figure it out......

Karl
88 Targa

Very nice approach. Shame still gets to some folks, so there is hope for Lance??

We make an annual golf trip to Vegas. For our next trip I'm mounting an old school money changer to a plaque that is inscribed "High Roller". Hope he laughs.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1242093596.jpg

When things were good economically most of us would fight over big dinners and bar tabs on fishing, hunting or skiings trips. When everyone stopped fighting we started playing credit card roulette. 4+ guys every one puts the card in a small basket and the server pulls the winning card that pays., we all agree on the tip% prior to the server pulling the card. It's hard core when you have $300+ bills It all works out in the end. I am pretty luck at this, dodged the bullet last weekend.

I love it.

Funny you should bring that up. I am out of work, or a regular 9 to 5 for the first time in my 55 years. Not to worry though, getting by.

Anyway, I go out to lunch with a bunch of friends for sushi once a month. Its a great time. Well without telling me they pick up the tab for me last month. Now mind you I did the biggest portion of the eating and I was a little taken back by this. Ya gotta know these guys, super. But it bothered me a little as I felt that I had put upon them.

So this month we do it again. Of course we had a great time. But before we sat down I explained how much I appreciated their generosity but that I saved up to be with them at lunch and asked them if it would be ok for me to pick up half of the bill this month. They were great about it and they understood how much it meant to me.

We grade the sushi places that we go to and have a blast doing it. This helps set the tip and we are more than fair with the great ones and more reserved with the not so great places. So far, all have been worthy of returning to, some more than others.

Had that s**t happen to me with f***ing FAMILY no less............................nothin ruins a nice evening out for me than stunts like that. I have one brother that I make sure I never dine out with.

one time in vegas we ended up with too much cash even with a genreous tip...so we took the extra and bet it on black...keep this up till we all had $50 each on they payout. man that was fun night.

Your setting the example Dan.

Karl
88 Targa