80 y/o MIL who lives with us had a stroke this AM

[Hugh R]

6:30 AM hear a moan from her room. She's lying on her bed unconscious, we call 911, they take her to the hospital. Doc thinks it's some mini-stroke. She's apparently conscious right now, but confused. Had to call her other kids who don't give a ***** about her.

[Tishabet]

I'll be sending prayers and mojo her way Hugh.

[Seahawk]

It is not about them, Hugh.

I met with an old friend of mine this past week, we were best friends growing up and played a lot of baseball together. We had not seen each other since college.

Over lunch we compared our experiences. I asked about his Mom who I had always thought was the coolest woman. He said he brought his Mother into his house when his Father died in 1994...his brothers were not so inclined.

He said it was a, "Japanese" thing to care for the elders. His Father died of cancer and he made sure he knew that he would take care of his wife, his mother.

While Ron is Japanese, I would like to think we'd all do the same thing.

Forget about the bad seeds, Hugh, make it a, "Japanese" thing and be proud of what you've been able to do for your MIL.

[Noah930]

Sorry to hear about this turn of events, Hugh. My thoughts are with you.

[red-beard]

My parents know that they will be moving in with us, whenever they need to.

[PatrickB]

Keep payin' forward Hugh! Karma is a concept most folks don't comprehend...

[Hugh R]

Thanks guys. Just came back from the hospital, she's lucid and can carry on a conservation, but still confused. They're still running tests. She's not a bother to care for, yet. My biggest complaint about her is that she puts nothing away when she's in the kitchen. I'm assuming when it comes time when we can't care for her, that none of the other POS siblings will pony up any $ for her care. If they do great, but considering NONE of them have bothered to come and see her in the 16 months she's lived with I don't have much hope. Two live within five miles of me and the other two within 40 miles of me.

[Skytrooper]

I'd say, your on your own with your MIL Hugh. If the other siblings live that close and haven't been over to see "Mom" , then they suck.
My wife took care of both her parents when they were dying from cancer...no one helped. When my mother had a massive stroke that left her unable to care for herself...she demanded that we bring her into our home (while my siblings squabled over, and made excuses why they couldn't have her....mind you I was the only one with small children at the time).

You are doing a very honorable thing, albeit difficult. Taking care of ones parents in their twilight years is a chance to catch up with some one on one time and to try to make their days meaningful. Much the same as they did when you were a child.

God bless you

[David]

My thoughts are with you.

I'm an only child and my wife is the only child with means, so we may end up with two mothers one day (both fathers are dead.) They took care of us for 18 years and more, I'm sure we could manage, especially with some hired help.

[pwd72s]

Hugh...hope this turns out okay...for all concerned. It's tough. That I know from experience.

[Gogar]

Sorry for your troubles, Hugh. Best to your wife as well.

[Racerbvd]

Prayers your way Hugh, my partner in the track car rental business has in MIL living with them, he built an addition on the house so she could still be independent, takes a very special person to be willing to do that, you sir, are made of the same medal.

God Bless you!!

[Hugh R]

Thanks guys. I think the old lady is going to be OK, for now. I've been pushing to take her driver's license away for two years. Maybe I'll get that now.

[johnco]

Do what you need to do Hugh. one day not too far off you might be the next one needing help.. It can be quite difficult at times, but you'll always know you did the right thing, unlike her own POS children. funny thing how so many families are like this. I bet they come to visit after she's gone... and asking to see titles, deeds, bank statements, etc..

[Joeaksa]

More prayers sent your direction. Hope she pulls through.

[tabs]

Hugh you can rest assured that the Children of those other siblings will take care of them the same way those other siblings are taking care of your MIL.

[NY65912]

Hugh, I know what you are going thru. My FIL (who lived with us) hardly spoke to me for months at a time. His son (brother in law) never came around. At the end, I shaved, cleaned and broomed him, the son only came around to see how things would be divided up after his impending death.

Moral of the story, my children witnessed "doing the right thing".

You can sleep well at night. As for the others, well you know about Karma.

[artplumber]

Hugh,
How's she doing? Any indications the hospital is going to let her go soon? Rehab? Unfortunately, her memory (and putting things away) will only get worse.

GL.