Personality Conflict @ Work

ikarcuaso · 05-21-2009, 09:34 AM

This is not merely "Joe in accounting" who I'd only need to deal with occasionally, but someone with whom I work closely on a daily basis. For several years, I've worked directly with my boss, a real laid back guy, didn't micro-manage, easy to work with, etc.

Recently, this other dude was put in place to manage workflow, oversee projects, etc. I've got zero issues w/the assignment. The dude is, however, my "anti-boss". I know I'm not perfect, but this dude can get prickly and abrasive at times. Combine that with frequent "did you get my email", "can you have 5-days worth of work done by tomorrow", "let's sit down and talk for half-an-hour now that you're all packed up and ready to leave for the day", "where are you with this since the last time I asked 15 minutes ago", etc.

Man, no complex work problems or heavy workload has ever weighed on me the way having to deal with this d|ckhead has for the past few months. My boss sensed the tension and even "had a talk" with me about it, but I kept it positive: "he's got a different style", "I'm flexible", etc. I resent being in this position and having my boss have to concern himself with this sh|t that's not related to our actual work.

How do you guys deal with this crap?

gassy · 05-21-2009, 09:40 AM

Since you're boss already knows there's an issue and you handled it with class, that's the opening you needed to push back a bit. You'll feel better...

legion · 05-21-2009, 09:54 AM

I've had a guy on my team the past 5 years whom I despise.

He likes to scream at people when he doesn't get his way. He expects other people to drop everything for his minor issues but your pressing needs he "will get to when he has time". He's loud. He spends lots of time telling inane stories or talking 30 decibels higher than he should on the phone--including the cutesy baby talk with his partner.

But he's a consumate brown noser and my manager and team lead love him. Fortunately the team lead is leaving and I have a trump card with my manager: he once screamed at one of her favorite employees for 20 minutes straight in a meeting before he worked for her(completely destroying any goodwill I'd built up with the other team in an instant). She was probably told the story but didn't know who he was at the time.

island911 · 05-21-2009, 11:04 AM

find a new job; now.

Rikao4 · 05-21-2009, 11:29 AM

does he drink coffee..
just asking

Rika

cgarr · cgarr's Garage

A real driver personality? Gets the job done but leaves a lot of bodies behind? He should move up rather quickly and be out of your way.

911Rob · 911Rob's Garage

sorry I can't help you there; I work alone!
Seriously, stay back.

Rikao4 · 05-21-2009, 11:54 AM

okay so no black coffee..
if your former boss has noticed this with you..
what has he noticed with the other emp.
production up..morale down..
is that okay..

or as Supe would say..to bad your not UNION..
then you could file a griev..get promoted and more..
good luck,
we all work..but when it becomes like this..
deal with it , move on, or move him..

Rika

jyl · jyl's Garage

The ideal would be for someone else to complain to the boss, and when asked you reluctantly acknowledge how bad a manager the anti-boss is - you get the idea. Anyone in your group look like the "throw self on grenade" type?

djmcmath · 05-21-2009, 03:27 PM

I have one of those situations right now. I've been assigned to a team with a very junior lead. He's actually an interface programmer, not really a "lead" at all, but he's the only government individual on the team, so he's the "lead" by default. Unfortunately, he's not only a bad manager, he's not even a good programmer. When the developers come to him and say things like "We have a memory leak," or "We have found a configuration management problem," it takes the team longer to explain to him then it would to just fix it. Aargh.

My reality is that I've never had a job where I didn't have some personality conflict. Either my boss was a complete idiot, or one (or more) of my immediate subordinates was lazy beyond comparison, or ... part of me wants to go somewhere else -- take Island's advice, pronto -- and part of me says "Why would any other job realistically be any different?"

So stick it out, train him in the ways of leadership, and let us know how it goes. I'm discovering wells of patience I didn't know existed.

Dan

einreb · 05-21-2009, 03:34 PM

Sleep with his wife?

Danimal16 · 05-21-2009, 03:34 PM

The cold hard truth is that generally if the job is getting done, the management does not care, they just don't. Don't rock the boat unless you have something else on line. Its a job and if you don't own the business and you are not getting more than what management thinks you are owed, why worry about it? Don't bend over backwards to further feather this guys bed, but don't complain either. And if I were you I would keep a diary of each day. Just in case you find yourself in the he said she said. No one cares if the troops are happy in corporate America these days. Its all about profits and if publicly traded, dividends.

m21sniper · 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ikarcuaso

This is not merely "Joe in accounting" who I'd only need to deal with occasionally, but someone with whom I work closely on a daily basis. For several years, I've worked directly with my boss, a real laid back guy, didn't micro-manage, easy to work with, etc.

Recently, this other dude was put in place to manage workflow, oversee projects, etc. I've got zero issues w/the assignment. The dude is, however, my "anti-boss". I know I'm not perfect, but this dude can get prickly and abrasive at times. Combine that with frequent "did you get my email", "can you have 5-days worth of work done by tomorrow", "let's sit down and talk for half-an-hour now that you're all packed up and ready to leave for the day", "where are you with this since the last time I asked 15 minutes ago", etc.

Man, no complex work problems or heavy workload has ever weighed on me the way having to deal with this d|ckhead has for the past few months. My boss sensed the tension and even "had a talk" with me about it, but I kept it positive: "he's got a different style", "I'm flexible", etc. I resent being in this position and having my boss have to concern himself with this sh|t that's not related to our actual work.

How do you guys deal with this crap?

So why did you lie to your boss when he asked you?

VaSteve · 05-21-2009, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ikarcuaso

Recently, this other dude was put in place to manage workflow, oversee projects, etc. I've got zero issues w/the assignment. The dude is, however, my "anti-boss". I know I'm not perfect, but this dude can get prickly and abrasive at times. Combine that with frequent "did you get my email", "can you have 5-days worth of work done by tomorrow", "let's sit down and talk for half-an-hour now that you're all packed up and ready to leave for the day", "where are you with this since the last time I asked 15 minutes ago", etc.

This is an easy issue, but that's since I'm (like) that guy.

You have to manage him. If he sends you an email, respond. Tell him you're on it and tell him when you can get something back to him. Make time to meet with him so it's not at the end of the day. Let him know that stuff takes time to get done.

My boss is super laid back. None of my staff are superstars. I wish that they'd post here so I could counsel them.

Zeke · 05-21-2009, 04:11 PM

If you've had to endure this for "the past few months" and are now just beginning to let this vent, you waited too long, IMHO. Certain types of behavior are in fact, abuse. If I worked at a company where this was occurring, I'd document (as mentioned) and notify HR.

Then I'd take a leave on stress and stick the company for the bills. Or something like that. I'm just sayin' that the company needs to know where this could go. If they were to get rid of you once this has been reported, you've got a pretty good position to demand a huge severance or some other strategy.

When you play chess, you have to know what you're going to do a few moves ahead of the present. Just like life.

Danimal16 · 05-21-2009, 05:27 PM

Timing is everything. Just suck it up until the right time. This way something might break in the right direction and this person may just start to get it. BUt on the other hand as someone else mentioned, trust but verify, and document the heck out of everything.

2.70Racer · 05-21-2009, 07:40 PM

Do you really want to spend your career in a company with so little knowledge of their people that an incompetent is placed in a position of authority?
Is this common in your company?
With it companies have a jungle drum network to weed out turkeys as well as discover talent.
Of course your company may have decided you are the expendable one.
Some of us have faced a situation like yours.
For me the answer was to move on to other brighter prospects, I was 32.
The move for me became a life changing positive experience.
It gets tougher after you hit 50. But not impossible.
The ball is in your court.

Bill Douglas · 05-21-2009, 09:11 PM

Tell his boss that he's interupting the work flow, and that you and your department are very busy people.

asphaltgambler · 05-22-2009, 06:40 AM

um.....heh....uh.........yeah..............I really need you to work Saturday to finish this project...um yeah...........ok?

stealthn · 05-22-2009, 06:42 AM

Being a consultant I have to deal with all types of people and attitudes. I believe that karma is a ***** and everybody gets theirs in the end.

Always, always be at least civil and do your job, his time will come.

To cut stress over it, take a picture of your Porsche and leave it on your desk, when your co-worker comes up and starts blathering on just sneak a glimpse of the car and remember the good times you had in it.....

Good luck