I'd get on my cell phone to the local medieval Catholic church castrati choirmaster and have him rush his choirboys over to initiate the idiot into their choir.

That's funny.
You got to get one of your buddies to do the same on the other side.

Was in a similar situation last year; was knee deep in a home project that wasn't going to well and was requiring me to make multiple trips to the hardware store.

On my fourth trip, I went to park along the outer perimeter of the lot (I always prefer a direct shot in and out in lieu of passing by the entrance) and aimed my sis-in-law's well used Explorer to one of two parking spots under a shade tree, which happened to be the only shade that 85 degree day.

In the other spot to my left happened to be a d-bag in his yellow C6 convertible barking to someone on the phone and using the classic d-bag phone pose of holding his arm out at 90 degrees to his body. I thought nothing of it and made my way to the store when at about 30 feet away he calls out "hey a**hole, 100 spots in this lot and ya gotta park that piece of s*** next to me?.....dumbf*ck"

Still with my back to him, I stopped. Turned around, and slowly walked back to the Explorer. Fired it up. Promptly popped it in reverse and whipped it around in to the spot on his left literally 2" from his drivers mirror (I still don't don't know how I did that).
Now face to face, I looked down at him and said very calmly, "thanks for pointing that out f*uckhead, I think I like this spot much better"

Hopped out the passenger door and went into the store. He was gone when I came back and there was no damage to the Explorer.

Years ago 2 of my surfer buds parked their rolling disasters that way on either side of a Ferrari 308 that had parked taking 2 spaces on the brink of the cliff overlooking their favorite surfing spot.

They could see their cars from the water and surfed until the driver showed up. The guy paced back and forth furiously for a couple minutes then just stood there helplessly, looking out at all the surfers.

My buds stayed out for another 40 min. or so then came in, laughing their asses off at the guy and left. The guy just stood there, well away from them, scowling but saying nothing (wisely :D).

I would not call him names or get loud. I have found it very effective to not back down and calmly ask him what his problem is and what he is going to do about it. AH's like this are turds and won't do anything about it.

Although many years ago I saw my dad do something about it in a very similar situation. The guy was about 6 4 and my dad is abut 5 9. The big guy backed down.

Seems to work.

Milt,

Go low tech, use a very small speck of gravel. Open the tube and drop it in. Air goes out ant the little pebble is never noticed. Works like a champ. The other is cardboard and dog poop or less nasty but equally effective, slimy mud on the door handle.

I've always wondered, why, when I park (as he did) away from the crowd all by myself were no one EVER parks (I watch so I know where to park safe) does some Jack A.. have to park right next to me?
Bueller, anyone?

..

I think he would forgive them....

Excellent.

i would marvel at the persons ability to accurately assess me in such a brief time.

"He was gone when I came back and there was no damage to the Explorer."

Would it have been "excellent" if he'd come back and there had been damage done to his Explorer? That woulda been my freakin' luck. :mad:

The whole time I was away from my vehicle I'd have been wondering if the prik was out there fking it up - while feeling stupid for putting myself into that position.

Been there, done that - when I was younger and stupider than I am now.

But I still be stupid somewhat an' waste time arguin' on issues like this one. :rolleyes:......I gave up on fantasizing about Clint Eastwood responses to the Stu Pedassos of the world a long time ago; there's just too many of them out there. :cool:

I thought more would agree with me but I guess my wife is right, I do have anger management issues. She said I fly off the handle a lot. I chose option 4.

This took place two years ago when I was having a heck of time making my sales quota. I was just having a really bad day and was on auto pilot as I drove into the hospital parking lot to see my fourth customer of the day. I was being called on to the carpet to answer for incorrect invoicing and technical/service issues. This customer had threatened to go with another vendor before and I thought I had the problems fixed.

Anyway, I wasn't thinking straight otherwise I wouldn't have parked next to Mr Chrysler 300. He called me an idiot and I said something like, "What did you say, motherfucher?" Things got worse but it did not come to blows. I stayed and he left.

I'm not a big guy but I am pretty wide for my height. I grew up in the inner city and ran with the wrong crowd, did a lot of really stupid stuff that should've landed me in jail. I've changed since then; got my GED, finished high school, joined the military, finished college, started a family, got a job I enjoy that pays well but for the stress of the quota, going to grad school now and am living a good life. But, the old neighborhood is still with me and I guess it doesn't take much to bring out the OG. I have issues.

Get the baseball bat out of the trunk.

+1

Exactly.

Why park right next to him - I could see one space over...

Maybe we don't understand the facts here.... it seems he had gone out of his way to park way away from everybody else & that there were many other "way away" places you cvould have parked...

is that right???

Just say - sorry, I have a bunch of bad things going on right now and was on autopilot - want me to move my car?

Truth is, on numerous occasions I've done exactly what cantdrv did when it was likely that the open lot would be much fuller when I returned to my car than when I parked it, my rationale being that I was protecting at least one side of my nice car while also protecting one side of another nice car which had obviously been parked away from others so as not to get dinged.

I did, and will continue, to do this since it makes sense to me and I always hope (but don't assume) that the driver of the other car will see it that way also. So far, no encounters of the bad kind have resulted. If one does, I'll do as I said; move to another spot and put it out of mind.

To me, that is not inconsistent with my avoiding pulling into spaces between ill kept, dinged up cars but rather trying to find a space between nice cars. Seems like common sense to me.

Cantdrv at least recognizes that he has anger management issues and questions his angry response (I think?) to the arse whole who mouthed off to him. That's a good thing. If he didn't park crowding the other vehicle, I can't fault him for anything but his angry response to the arse whole.

I probably would have told him to go eff himself, he's not that important and neither is his car. Oh, and I would have written down his license plate number just in case.

I cannot imagine anyone calling your '72S a P.O.S. That's just absurd. He should have been honored and humbled to have his car on the same lot as that beauty.

If you REALLY wanna screw with the guy, you remove the valve stems completely, then quickly stick them under the leading edge of the tire. As the tire deflates, it covers them up. No theft, no damage, lots of fun.