Hookers.......a delicate question...
 

After seeing the other two threads it got me thinking.....

:D

.. dead in the trunk??


What is the question here?

The question is too delicate, he can't even ask it.

A mysterious pimple on your pee pee?

A red ring is lipstick, a green ring is gangrene.
Gary

Headers?

OMG. I feel so dense, as I get the joke 30 years later.

Good question.

I'm sure there's a forum for this somewhere- maybe sign up and ask?

Better do a search first!

The best way to treat the green ring is with a ovaltine / canola oil poultice...

Call Fredo. He'll help you out.

Geez. Times have changed.

I really don't have anything to offer here. Never paid for it.

It always gets paid for.

A little shot and *bam* - clear that stuff right up.

So I'm told.

if I post the pic I want I'll get banned again so bell will only get it

"Finally, some good economic news"

Two for the price of one special.http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat3.gif

Bruno opens Amsterdam "pink light" brothel
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE55I3US20090619

Said the single man.:D

I did a Montreal dancer that was out of work up there. She came to the city to try to get a foothold and was tricking for survival. I have a friend in the fashion industry and he made the contact.

She was an athlete for 15 min. If you didn't pop she'd tell you come back for free anytime before the scene was finished. She'd do a heard of guys in a weekend if the money was ok. She charged about 1/2 of what a good city girl would want. She was about 5'6" and thin. Also very decent looking on the olive texture side, and late 30s old.

She'd get you on extended arms and legs, all 4s, while she's wrapping her legs around your waist. Her arms around your head and neck enabling a lift off. She'd hang on while off the bed like a cat. She whacked away for a 10-15 min workout.

She did 5 out of 10 guys within 10 min, 3 out of 10 would need between 10-15 min, and 2 out of 10 for re-do's. All #'s are in general.

Don't ask why I didn't have to pay anything.

No other female can even come close to her act.

Never paid for it either. Wouldn't know how or where. Just never came up.
That should be enough straight lines.
Very punny.

Sorry.
Been staring at the guts of a blown up pratt and whitney jet engine all night, haven't slept for 24 hours, tired. Eyes hurt.

Yeah, I never paid for it until I met the ex. Still pay for it.

They say a $200 hooker is the cheapest piece you'll ever get.
They may be right.

A guy approaches a hooker and asks how much. She says $200.
He says wow, that's a bit steep. But he eventually agrees and they go up to his hotel room.

She goes into the bathroom to change and when she comes out he's on the bed, roughing up the suspect if you know what I mean.

She says, "I thought we were going to have sex?"
he says "we are, but for $200 you ain't getting the easy one".

A country priest gets transfered to NYC. He takes a walk about, ending up in the Red Light District and is confronted by a working girl....she tells him that a BJ is $50.

Confused he goes back to the Rectory and asks the Mother Superior what a BJ is.....MS says $50, just like in town....

The family name really was Hooker - they were from my home town - no joke.

the neighbor up the street is a dominatrix.this is hollywood. i have her business card around somewhere.

she says that she has to be the best at what she does, because she doesn't have sex with the guys but still gets paid.

Steve = 1, Snipey = 0.

My buddy and I were talking the other day about his divorce settlement. He was married for four years, divorced for 1 now. Nice guy, modest means, regular job kinda fellow.

His settlement + $1400/month maintenance came to about $76/day for the duration of the marriage. Not sure how many payments he has left, though.

My ex got half of our assets and an average of $1,250/month maintenance for 3 years which is up next summer. If I calculated the cost of each brief and not that enjoyable "session" it would be roughly $10,000 to $20,000 per.

Friend of mine got back from Vegas last week. We were talking about his expense report. The fact that the company doesn't want to see receipts under $75 came out.

Another coworker pointed out that most of the hookers in Vegas are $69. "But you'll have to eat the tip," he continued.

"It's nice of you to return the favor." I replied.

My first three cruises in the Nav I was single. Think early/mid 1980's
The maintenance Chief on my first detachment on FFG-37 was married to a Filipina, one of the best people I have ever met. Master Chief Hunt (now retired) and I still correspond and we see each other whenever we can.

The first time our Frigate docked in the Philippines, then Chief Hunt pulled me and the other single pilot aside. "You can do this right, or you two Cones can wander around clueless, as usual."

Good Navy Chiefs can and will take young officers under their wing if they think the officer is worth the effort. It is my sincere honor that MC Hunt considered me worthy of his tender mercies.

With his connections, Chief Hunt set Mike and I up for the week we were in port: house, house mates, transportation and local, beyond Olangapo, entertainment.

I paid for it, happy to do so. In the subsequent eight port visits...

It's cheaper to rent it, you get what you want, $he gets what $he want$, and you still have your toys in the morning.:D:cool:

I think we have all paid for it one way or another.

A guy says to a woman at a party "Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?" She looks kinda coy and says back to him"Sure" Then he says "Would you have sex with me for a dollar?" She yells "What!!! Do you think I'm some kind of a whore or something?" He says "Well you are a whore. And all I'm trying to do is establish the price."

skip it....
carry on.

We all pay for it one way or the other. Up front, with a ring or during the divorce.

Get used to it or keep wanking off. Not many other options unless a sheep is in the mix and I aint into animals. Glad that cute little blonde at the hotel still likes me...

Q: So why are you so fat?

A: Because every time I feck your wife she feeds me a biscuit.

If it was legal I would be broke

"You're not paying her for sex. You're paying her to leave when you're done."

My wife makes twice what I do. I don't complain.

Slacker . ;)