I once had to pich a loaf outside while leaning against the wall cause I could not open the house door quick enough. I just had enough time to drop my shorts and explode. Funny thing is the cat watched the whole episode in disgust.

Lesson learned: Do not order buffalo wings at Denny's.

Home is best but any clean restroom w/ privacy is fine. Lately I've been in a routine where I go to the same place for an iced americano and an oatmeal scone every morning, (for years now, actually), I usually take the world's most perfect dump in their restroom about 15 minutes later. Since we're being so scatological here, there is nothing better for your health than being on a regular schedule and taking great schits. The kind that barely stink the room and take a grand total of 4 minutes from entry to exit of restroom. The kind where your ass hole just slams shut.

I've got it down to where the person after me in line for the room might think I just whizzed and washed my hands. It's that perfect lately.

Yeah to good health!!

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OK, that might have been TMI on the old Pelican board, but you guys started it!

Beats the hell out of political discussions here, still.

I sh$t my pants while driving once after a visit to the Indian lunch buffet. Don't worry I was not driving the Porsche... had to rinse out my sh$tty pants on the lawn.... same cat saw the whole thing. I feel better now.

That, my friend, is called a shart... happened to many of us I'm sure. I have had to leave a few boxers in the trash can.

Odd. I had a similar experience after eating hot buffalo wings at Zaxby's. I was driving home when I was suddenly struck with the most incredible pain in my stomach. I only lived 5 minutes from Zaxby's but knew immediately that I wasn't going to make it. I pulled over at the first possible opportunity got out the car and dropped my bags.

It sounded like a thousand Chinamen wearing flip-flops running down a hallway. Unfortunately I was standing on the grass outside the State Farm insurance office at the time.

Could have been worse - that same office is now the local Police station.

i never minded public toilets until my wife and now coworkers turned me into a germaphobe. now i don't even like walking into a public restroom much less using one.

i will say that duck hunting quickly taught me to 'go' on command at 4am. never thought i'd have that skill.

When I was a young kid, about 6 or 7, I was checking out new and partially built houses in the new housing sub-division near where I lived. I seriously needed a dump so I had one in the toilet and when I went to flush it I found the water wasn't connected. Yuck. Imagine how pissed (pun intended) off the builder must have been cleaning up a dried up turd. LOL.

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Here is your Pilot to Bombardier Legion....

This thread stinks!

I like it.

I prefer home base. Mr regular.
Couple sips of coffee at breakfast and 'everybody out'.

Public, porta's, the woods, whatever.

We were on a fishing trip out in the woods one time.
We all had a huge breakfast and as soon as we stopped the truck we all went different directions with a roll into the forest.
We all had had radios and were blabbering away.
Our one friend, somehow managed to lose his footing as he straddled his 'creation'.
Stumbled around and stepped directly into it. Sick!

I found this perfect rock I could lean back onto...


KT

A real "jettison the load" sort of a package - yeah.

Hunted since I was a boy. Gotta go, ya gotta go, even 5 miles from the nearest road.

Heck I have taken a leak behind a bush beside the highway waiting for the Ferry to Port Aransas....

yup...worse place was on a fishing boat out on 'the race' on Long Island Sound. The head had black shyt water which splashed up and got me square in the dirt hole. Needless to say when I got home many many hours later I bathed for an hour.

best place, worse place...

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Bravo!! the race is scary enough on some tides that peeing or having a bowel movement is the last thing on your mind..

Besides hooking a lunker bass makes all those sphincter tightening bile swallowing minutes so worth it when you get back home with a trophy fish... which happens more often than not at the "Race"

caught more blues than I could eat in a year but what I wanted was a nice fat tuna which I didn't get - not a stripper to be found that day.

[ot]

Well the race isn't where you get big fat tuna...... though you might get a yellowfin, skipjack or bonita...

This is what a typical Race fishing trip would result in

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Ok guys we finally got the official " and when I was at band camp" story from Gogar!!