Might-Have-Beens

[legion]

Posting this story on Dueller's thread got me thinking, does anyone have any might-have-been stories?

This is what I posted:

Then there is this other girl. I asked her out twice in high school. She turned me down twice. We became friends in college (she was a few years younger) and hung out all the time with each other. We didn't really date, but we spent a lot of time with each other. I'd often, but not always pay for our activities. I took her out to dinner a few times. We never did anything physical. I think we were both a little afraid of breaking that barrier because it would have changed things. We each dated other people on and off for years, but there were long periods where we were both single. She lived by my parents in Naperville and would swing by whenever my car was in front of their house. At some point I decided that she had some baggage (namely her family--her brother is the guy who won't stop calling me) that I didn't want. The last time I saw her, she told me that I was the nicest guy she had ever dated (and I never considered us as having dated). I knew what that meant was that she was finally ready for a relationship, but I had moved on. I was with my now-wife and the other girl and I drifted apart. I didn't invite her to my wedding. I felt like we had been so emotionally close in the past that it would have been like inviting an ex-girlfriend.

This took place over a ten-year period, through high school, college, and a little after. This girl also tended to date abusive losers, and I definitely wasn't in that category. By the time she came around I had moved on. The timing just was all wrong.

There was also this girl in college. I was dating my now-wife at the time. Some of my roommates had brought home this girl from the bars. I had stayed in to study. (I was a double-major who worked part-time as an actuarial intern who managed to graduate in four years. I had very little free time my senior year.) After awhile she asked me to take her home. I just assumed it was because I was the only sober one there. She invited me up. I accepted. It was obvious that she was throwing herself at me. She showed me her bad poetry (mostly bastardized Smashing Pumpkins songs.) She offered me beer. She left for a minute and called me into her bedroom. I started to get uncomfortable and I'm not the kind to cheat, so I just stood up and called back to tell her I was leaving and left. She was pretty good looking at the time, but by graduation (maybe three months later) she'd packed on 30 pounds and was literally busting out at the seams. Another guy I know had gotten involved with her and she was kind of crazy with stalker-like tendencies. I'm very glad I didn't throw away my current relationship for her.

[Jim Richards]

Nope, got nothing. Keep looking ahead.

[legion]

I'm not talking about regrets here. I don't regret any of my decisions. That doesn't mean I don't think about them.

[Z-man]

Been married 15 years this Thursday to Kim, my soulmate. Everyone I dataed before her didn't even come close to how special Kim is. She is the love of my life, and I keep falling in love with her more and more and more everyday.

My only regret in our relationship - I should have taken care of my own baggage years ago, instead of dealing with it so much later on in life.

That, and the only other regret I have is that I didn't know about autocrossing and PCA DE's earlier than 1998. It would have been an excellent thing to get into during my formidable college years...I could have been the next Schumi!

-Z-man.

[Jim Richards]

I'm not talking about regrets either. I just don't think about old GF's. And, unlike politicians and pro athletes, I don't think about new GF's. I'm all set.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Chris,

There was this very nice young lady that I knew when I was on active duty. I felt I was MUCH too old for her (right decision at the time). Her parents wanted me to be in her life. My sister has put us back in touch with each other after ~20 years. Neither of us have deep regrets, but I can tell you if events in our lives had crossed when they had a chance too then we would have been together right now.

FWIW, I deeply love my Wife and would NEVER trade her for anything!!! She is the most wonderful person and she complements me much better than anyone else ever could have. We are best friends before all else.

My Wife had a similar situation with a very nice man who ended up as a very successful doctor. We still see him on occasion with his wife. Strange how life works out, they would not have been as good together as they ended up with different people.

[Sonic dB]

Ive had many situations when I was younger, where I turned down easy sex with decent to very hot women that wanted to sleep with me. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy sex but I was much more repressed as a younger person and I felt it was wrong to sleep around.

One time I ended up in bed with the ex-girlfriend of a good friend of mine at the time. They had broken up several weeks earlier and she wanted to sleep with me. We didnt go all the way but almost did. It really didnt matter that we didnt though because everyone thought that we did and I got alot of flack from people, male and female for several weeks afterwards. She wanted to date me after but I didnt do that.

Another time this gorgeous blonde called the bar I was working at and invited me to her hotel room for after hours. I declined.

I sorta wish I would have been more wild and taken up some of those opportunities. As I get older, I have more of a desire to sow these wild oats now before its too late. Life is about the experiences.

Recently my ex-girlfriend from college found me on Facebook and we started to exchange messages. She is now married happily and has 2 children. It has been nice to renew this relationship because we were always good friends in addition to our romantic relationship. She was the closest one that I got to marrying and I have to admit that life would have been much different had we gone down that route. As it is, Im very happy for her because she has gotten just about all that she has wanted in her life...she was always the get married and have 2 kids type and I was always more independent.

anyone else have these types of experiences to share?

[legion]

See, and I'm not on facebook because I don't want to be found...

[stomachmonkey]

Jr year in HS. Had moved to a new town. 1st day of classes, siting in Home Room waiting ofr th day to start. It was raining buckets and she'd missed the bus, had to walk to school, she was drenched and PISSED. The second she walked through the door it was love at first sight.

I think we were friends by the middle of the first day. Over time I knew she felt the same but could not resolve why she kept me at bay. Basic issue was her father, there were certain requirements (religious) that needed to be met and it was just not going to happen.

We took each other on an emotional roller coaster for the next few years, as friends, as lovers, as enemies.

She was my one true first love and it ended with as spectacular a bang as it began.

When I met my wife many years later it was the same initial reaction.

It's eerie how many things the two have in common, religion, fathers business, number and gender of siblings, height, absolutely rabidly vicious Islander/hockey fans.

Donna and I hadn't spoken in years, I was afraid to make the overture, that my best friend and love of my life would turn me away.

Called her a few years ago. She is happy in her life, great husband, great kids. We are friends again.

And my wife is the love of my life, well her and the two beautiful children she blessed me with.

I think for Donna and I had we not experienced what we did, together, when we did, any future relationships for us could easily have been doomed. We grew each other up.

[Dueller]

A 20 year high school reunion will cure you of these thoughts. Went to mine and ran into a girl I dated briefly the summer before college. We were young and full of hope for our individual futures. Knew it was not anything that had a future because we knew youthful long term relationships are not realistic.

At the reunion she was sitting at the registration table and shrieked with joy when she saw me. She didn't look like she changed a bit.






Then she got up to hug me and I saw that her ass had spread like an agressive virus. I'm talking double wide territory.

Good to see her after 20 years. Hope she's found happiness

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by Sonic dB

I felt it was wrong to sleep around.

I can honestly say I never had those feelings when I was younger.

[Rick Lee]

As tough as some of my break-ups were, in my heart, I knew they were dead-end relationships that would only get more difficult. The two toughest break-ups were very good for me later. First one ended up married and separated a week after her honeymoon. They're back together now and with a child, but I feel for her husband. The other one I was engaged to, but she didn't know how to be happy. She had all these big dreams, was filthy rich, but didn't know what to do with herself. Five years later and she's still living in the same place, has a job she doesn't need, just to keep busy and still doesn't know what to do with herself. I know I'd be divorced now, had I married either of them. I love my wife more and more every day, even when we have an occasional fight.

[Sonic dB]

Originally Posted by Kurt V

I can honestly say I never had those feelings when I was younger.

Yeah...most guys dont care who they sleep with....i still had gfs and even a few one nighters but i guess at the time when i was young and "cute" i thought that i should be choosy....

I remember this one girl at a party cornering me and she was going "i just want to taste you....!"....or the hot black girl that i used to work with saying that she wanted to suck me....or the bikini girl on spring break who walked up and drew her finger across my chest and said "you should put something on there, looks kinda hot"...lol...or the girl that waited for me at the bar while i closed is because "you and i are going home together".....ah the memories....its funny how now a decade later, the opportunities are not there nearly as much as they used to be (young women soliciting me for pure sex lol)... so i guess those are "regrets" but damned if i dont have some wild oats to sow still. oh well... at least i dont have any stds