Thought she was aupposed to carry a big spanner in her back pocket and wack the hand/arm that grabbed her a55 with it.

One night playing pool I chalked up my hand and grabbed the a55 of our waitress. She immediately whipped around and slugged me, then read me the riot act, BUT she didn't dust that white chalk hand print off her left butt cheek rest of the night. And she was wearing a black skirt too so it really stood out.

The guy is very lucky my daughter didn't slug him. She may not be a big girl but she is tall so she has a long wingspan and she doesn't slap, she punches. Daddy taught her how to make it count and the army reaffirmed that.

Good morning folks.

One of the ladies that worked with me at the photo lab 25 years ago was a lot like Elly Mae Clampet except her dad was not a millionaire he was a active FBI agent. She was the second youngest of 8 kids and 6 of her siblings were older brothers. She was even from Arkansas.

She told me that she was once going through the airport and some dude was walking real close behind her. She said she could almost anticipate him copping a feel. Sure enough the perv grabbed her ass and she swung around grabbed his arm, spun around and slammed him against the wall. She said it was all instinct from growing up fighting with her brothers. She said it was the only time she was ever glad he brothers picked on her and taught her to fight.

Airport security was right there and the perv apologized and everything was dropped. Of course the cops had fun teasing the perv about getting whipped by a lady.

I just got off the phone with the daughters boss and the situation is handled. Good thing because I was looking at handcuffs today.

Good to hear. Don't think any of us wanted to learn file in the cake baking.

Oh I am sure Azzy already knows that trick.

Ceramics don't show up in the metal detector when you take the cake in.

I was teased a bit last year in softball about our daughter getting close to dating age and then joking about spoons. I said she has her own spoon and can hit a coke can at 20 yards with a hand spoon. They gave a nervous little chuckle when they saw I was serious. She is learning how to defend herself by hand also with the knowledge I will fully back up anything she needs to do to defend herself. Haven't talked about phone books yet.

Haven't had to hit anyone since college. Couple of guys were picking on me when I was real drunk at Eskimo Joe's. After taking several hits and telling them they were stupid I cold cocked the biggest one and he was out for the time it took me to go buy a pitcher of beer and pour it on him. They left the bar. That week a guy came into the restaurant I was working at and told me he was these guys Karate instructor and heard I knocked out his best student. He asked if I wanted to come be a part of his class and fight him in a match. Said First, I did want to be a part of any class that the star pupil goes around picking a fight with the obviously drunkest person in the bar. And secondly I didn't think he was much of a teacher if the drunkest person in the bar knocked him the fuk out in only one hit. This teacher dude told me he could beat me up. Told him he touched me he better kill me because I only fight for self defense and since he was a karate instructor if I survived I would be in fear of my life and have to hunt him down and kill him. Never saw those guys in a bar again.

In HS me and 4 friends used to get drunk, put on boxing gloves and brawl until someone got mad. Then the others would stop it. I say "brawl" because it was way more than just boxing. One guy was really into Karate.

Remember this one time we were doing our drunken master training and this dude pulled up and jumped out wearing a gi with a black belt. He stated his name and that he was a black belt from some school and he was going to beat the crap out of Ben. Ben, the Karate guy in our group was standing by the open car trunk that had the ice chest of beer in it. He pulled out the the tire iron from the trunk sounded just like the guy in the Gi when he said, "My name is Ben, this is a tire tool from a Dodge Charger, and I don't think so." The challenger immediately said "beats me", got in his car and drove off. We about died laughing. Found out later our guy had taken his girl out on a date and the guy in the Gi was trying to scare him off.

Made that Pince's Bride quote "My Name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die" even more funny when I saw the movie later.

One of the best parts about getting married is not being out on the hunt for womens. Back in my days of trolling the waters I was at a very straight bar and sat at one of the few spots left at the bar. Some dude sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee. I knocked his hand away and told him I have not started a fight in a bar in a long time but if he does not get up and leave the place right now I am about to be about to get arrested for fighting and he will experience great pain. He left and I did not have to hit him. I did score a good catch that night but I threw her back in the ocean. I was on a catch and release program back then.

I just hate stupid people.......and that includes, roughly, 98% of the population of this planet....

When I was a senior in HS one of my good drinking buddies was a lesbian. She took me to a gay bar several times so we could pick up some girls. Seemed a lot of the lesbians there went both ways. Back then we called it being running buddies. All the guys there seemed to respect that I was there to find a chick. None of them ever hit on me.

I don't HATE stupid people, but sometimes they can be quite annoying.

I just dislike most people, stupid or not. Present company excluded, of course.

We had some training for management and we were supposed to go around the circle and tell a "secret". When it got to me I said I don't like people. That got me some looks since I have to deal with people all stinking day long. Some even like me.

Whooo! New RC toy will be here tomorrow!!!

We expect pics tomorrow!

When I was in high school I had a whole lot of people try and knock me off since I was one of the biggest people in school. I was 6-4 and since I was on the football team I was always bulked up. I tipped the scales at 230. Add to that the fact that I still had a fair amount of yankee left in me, I was always in a skuffle. That finally gave way when I was running out of faces to punch. After that the only time I ever got into a fight was when someone was bullying someone else. Yeah I was that guy, the bully hunter.
The last time I was close to a fight it was at the gas station and I had a run in with some, we will call them people for the sake of the conversation, and I was outnumbered three to one. I very calmly removed the lid from the 20oz cup of coffee I had just purchased and told them I was going to take one of them out with it and then deal with the other two. Oddly enough no one volunteered to be "the one". I just rolled my eyes called them a girly name and walked off, very happy to have not gotten my a55 beat.
We won't discuss my ex son in law who must of had a tattoo on him that said Everlast, cause he sure was fun to whup up on.

I haven't been in a good brawl for quite some time......At 6'0" and closing in on 300lbs, nobody wants to play with me anymore....

Brent, there's a green across the street with tons of deep sand traps and it backs up to light woods with tons of debris on the ground....looks like the perfect spot to break the new truck in!

The golfers may not appreciate it if you are breaking in the targets at the same time.

So, are you supposed to say something before you fire? When they say fore, you say three-two-one and squeeze?