Well, after a week of vacation my mind may not be going - too early to tell - but it is certainly spinning here on the first day back at work.

Scrambling to catch up on emails (500MB of it), data points, developments; ad-libbed my way through a meeting; preparing for a trip to Seattle tommorrow and to SF Bay Area rest of week; and, most difficult, trying to get back in synch with the market.

I find that if I'm away for more than a couple days, it takes a while to get re-synched with what is moving and why. For the first day or so, the blinking numbers on the screen are just blinking numbers, they don't have pattern or meaning, and I feel adrift. But comprehension comes back - it always does.

So, what did I do on vacation?

I kayaked a lot, at least 3 hours each day. Took one 5 hour paddle, a couple of 3 hour paddles, and just farted around in the water the rest of the time. This summer I am trying to get my kayak legs back after a long (decade) layoff, and it is happening, but slowly. There is a mental thing going on. Even on a pretty calm lake, I'll be paddling in my expedition boat, all geared up with PFD and spare paddles and emergency stuff, next to my friend in a tupperware boat, no emergency gear, PFD in her lap, with less lifetime hours in a kayak than I've done in the past month but I'm the paranoid one and she's blithely tripping along with not a care in the world. I think part of it is that I've been in trouble before, struggling to re-enter in four foot waves or tumbling under the broached boat in breaking surf, so I'm more aware of how things go bad and of how rusty my kayak skills have become. I went out one windy afternoon and paddled with my eyes closed, that did help my confidence a bit.

I cooked a lot, the folks in our group take turns with the food and we've had some great meals there. My contribution this time was ceviche, two paellas, a sort of German potato salad, tomato pesto salad, and some salmon cakes. There was a lot of good food, my favorite were three exquisite fruit tartes that one friend prepared. There was good wine, some Scotch, a few cigars, and lots of strong coffee.

And I had one unscheduled day with my dad in the cardiac unit of UCSF. Got the call late Tuesday night, left Tahoe at 5AM the next day and didn't get back to the lake until 11PM. Nothing too serious, in the end - he was having atrial fibrillation (heart rate irregular and as high as 140), but with medication the doctors got his heart rate stable and 65-70, verified there was no damage done, and he went home. Turns out that UCSF has one of the best cardiac practices in the country. They have an entire department that specializes in cardio electro physiology, or heart rhythm disorders. This team of crack specialists was all for doing something called a cardiac inversion (stop heart, then re-start it) but my dad's cardiologist (also at UCSF) opted for conservative treatment.

Okay, back to work.

hookers and blow is a short term solution. You will feel much worse the next day when you are recovering and that smell may never wash off.

The smell ALWAYS washes off...

JYL,

I understand completely. Vacation is the answer. Question is, did it heal you enough?

This economy is hitting people really hard in ways they don't expect or know how to deal with. Personally, I have had to readjust a number of things just to keep everything together. As you are in Portland and I know the number of recreation possibilities here this time of year, I suggest that you make a concerted effort to heal and regain the JYL that can be. You mentioned fly rods. Fall is a GREAT time to use one around here. Stupid fish and no crowds.

You know the problem. Work on it regularly and recognize that this will be your biggest obstacle for the next little bit.

Also, you need to realize that this same malaise is impacting MILLIONS of people right now.

Good luck.
Larry

Try not working for a year. I'm so intellectually understimulated right now it's making me crazy. I can't wait to get back to work and in an environment that stimulates thought. Believe me, as bad as "burnout" is (BTDT), being in an environment without any kind of intellectual stimulus is far, far worse.

I saw the title of this thread and it made me laugh, because I know now I'm not the only one. - between my job and my so called relationship I am totally losing track of reality.

(no, I'm not going off the deep end, just that everything I know is wrong these days.)

Hey, I didn't thank you for the PM on another topic, a few weeks ago. Sorry, and thank you.

I brought my flyrod to Tahoe but was having so much fun in the kayaks that I never got around to fishing. From past experience I know the fish in the more accessible rivers there are much smarter than I am anyway.

I do plan to do some fishing, if not catching, in the PNW this fall. This coming weekend I am being forced to attend a wedding in Yakima WA which is a town with absolutely nothing of interest (to me) except the Yakima River in the gorge. So, I'm taking the flyrod and hopefully I won't miss the ceremony . . .

Actually, the young man is my nephew who is home on leave getting married before he rejoins his Marine unit to complete training and be deployed. So I won't miss his wedding. I hear there is some chance his unit will go to Okinawa, I hope that's what he gets as a wedding present.

What, you didn't use the "time off" to write a screenplay? I thought you live in LA? :-)

Cool. Yakima river has a great reputation. I haven't fished it. Sounds just about right however.

Good luck.
Larry

I've fished it a few times, usually to get away from the in-laws. The most beautiful time was a clear cold winter day. Banks deep in snow, large parts of the river were iced over, the canyon stark in black and white. I was bundled up in neoprene and fleece, wading the icy shallows and drifting wet flies along the ice edges. I knew I wasn't going to catch a thing but that wasn't the point. At some point I finally realized that if I slipped and fell in, I was going to be swept underneath one of the ice shelves where I'd be perfectly preserved until the spring thaw. I got suddenly very cold and left.