proper bedtime for a 15 year old?

Jim Bremner · 09-04-2009, 08:41 AM

I have two sons left at home. One's 15 the other is 16. We've told them that during summer that they can stay up till midnight.

Their x-boxes needs to have the sound turned off and that they need to be quiet after 11.

Every night I need to tell my stepson 5-8 times to be quiet after 11. I'll tell him and I get "oh, sorry" by the time that I shut the door he's talking again.

I've turned the power off! But my wife gives in to him.

I would take the xbox out of the room at 11 or when I go to bed but my wife won't back me up.

m21sniper · 09-04-2009, 08:48 AM

Proper bed time for when?

School night? Weekend during school year? Summer time?

At 15, i guess 10pm/12am/whenever?

stomachmonkey · 09-04-2009, 08:51 AM

The stimulation of gaming before bed is not a good thing.

Can lead to restless sleep.

It's a health issue.

Your wife should back you on this.

With my kids when they "forget" the rules they lose the privilege.

They can either remember to turn the sound off or they can not play at all, their choice.

cgarr · cgarr's Garage

It depends on how active Mom and Dad still are!

emcon5 · emcon5's Garage

Stay up as long as you want, but you are getting no later than 8AM

.

Jim Bremner · 09-04-2009, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by m21sniper

Proper bed time for when?

School night? Weekend during school year? Summer time?

At 15, i guess 10pm/12am/whenever?

Summer nights, It's 11 during school nights

KaptKaos · 09-04-2009, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Bremner

I've turned the power off! But my wife gives in to him.

I would take the xbox out of the room at 11 or when I go to bed but my wife won't back me up.

The problem is not the kids. They know she'll cave, so why pay attention to you?

Sorry to be harsh, but unless you're on the same page, this is what you will get.

m21sniper · 09-04-2009, 09:50 AM

Heck at that age, for summer nights i don't think 1am would be unreasonable, but i'm pretty liberal with letting kids stay up late.

I do agree that if the kids don't heed your call to turn the volume down on the X-box your proper response is to march straight into their room and collect the system until morning.

I suspect that after 2-3 times of that happening your edict that the sound be turned down will be viewed as if it was issued from the mouth of god himself.

If your wife meddles, tell her quite simply, "My love....two words. United front."

TheMentat · TheMentat's Garage

just throw the breaker switch to their room.

m21sniper · 09-04-2009, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMentat

just throw the breaker switch to their room.

Now that's brilliant!

HardDrive · 09-04-2009, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMentat

just throw the breaker switch to their room.

+1

Whats the issue here? You say STFU, he should STFU.

dad911 · 09-04-2009, 10:05 AM

1-2 am summer time. Get them headphones. In a few years, when they are out of the house, you will miss the noise.

We don't allow videogames in their bedrooms until college-age. Have a basement playroom for that.

Jim Bremner · 09-04-2009, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HardDrive

+1

Whats the issue here? You say STFU, he should STFU.

Yup, turned off the power twice! Started the wife and I fighting!

stomachmonkey · 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Bremner

Yup, turned off the power twice! Started the wife and I fighting!

I think your wife needs to read this thread.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/483932-when-did-you-know-over-relationship-post4763912.html#post4763912

Which led to this.

Separation as a tool to save a marriage...your experiences?

Zef · Zef's Garage

You have a hammer...use it against the x-box....they will take you seriously thereafter. I used mine once...now when I ask something, I just ask once.

stomachmonkey · 09-04-2009, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zef

You have a hammer...use it against the x-box....they will take you seriously thereafter. I used mine once...now when I ask something, I just ask once.

My step dad used to ask once, if we "forgot" to do the dishes you found them under your blanket when you went to bed. So you still had to do them but also had to change your sheets.

My brother once forgot to take out the garbage. He was reminded while taking a shower, s-dad pull back the curtain and tossed him the bags. They were the brown paper ones from the super market. What a mess.

One thing we NEVER forgot to do was walk the dog.

m21sniper · 09-04-2009, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Bremner

Yup, turned off the power twice! Started the wife and I fighting!

She's the one that needs the talking to then, not the boys. Children are expected to work against you. Your wife should certainly know better. A united front in parenting is utterly critical, or children will exploit the hell out of any fractures in parental cohesion/unity they see.

I was a master at that in my youth.

BeyGon · 09-04-2009, 10:56 AM

I always had summer jobs as a carpenter so getting me to bed was never a problem. Even weekends in High School, I was working so it was hard to stay out late. Kids don't work anymore so it has to be tough.

turbo steve · 09-04-2009, 11:21 AM

VIDEO GAMING is very addictive. I dont play anymore, but my kids play the xbox. So I know all about them. How they can tune the world out for a game. I read the posts, and believe I could give you some advice.

First: They are safe at home playing as opposed to playing elswhere.
Second: You and your wife should have one solid word on the game system.
Third: Question what they are playing, world of warcraft and such games like it are no good, and i have known of kids falling into a game like that all day everyday, losing the more important things in life.
Fourth: If you smash the xbox, they will probably play xbox down the street anyway.
Fifth: A good option, is to buy a wii, they are more fun anyway. Not a bunch of killing and fighting.
Sixth: If they are in school sports, they will have no energy at night. (That has worked the best for me).
It is a serious power struggle, but it usually works out, it is just a phase.

I hope this has helped you, talk to you later.

Steve

gr8fl4porsche · gr8fl4porsche's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by m21sniper

She's the one that needs the talking to then, not the boys. Children are expected to work against you. Your wife should certainly know better. A united front in parenting is utterly critical, or children will exploit the hell out of any fractures in parental cohesion/unity they see.

The wife and I never get involved in the others disciplining of the children. If one of us starts the fight, then they have to finish it. If I tell the little animals to quiet down or it's 10 minutes of time out - then I have to enforce the rule until the end. No help from or appeals to the other judge are allowed.

We also rotate shifts with the disciplining. A typical shift might be an hour or so.
Or, we split them up - each takes a kid at bedtime. Putting one to bed is a lot easier than going back and forth between two.

Raising children gets exhausting, especially for us old folks!

Back to the original topic - bedtime should always be earlier than later. Kids need their sleep. 10:30pm for teenagers seems reasonable. If they won't go to bed at a reasonable hour, start getting them up at 5:45am. After a couple of days they'll be asleep by 8:30pm.